Holistic Gratitude
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Pastor Bob Henry
November 19, 2023
Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections. This morning our scripture is from Colossians 3:12-17 from the New Revised Standard Version.
Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
And be thankful…and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. I hope this is our posture this morning and as we begin preparing for our Thanksgiving holiday this week.
On the first week of the month, I have the opportunity to read to the children at the Maple Seeds Preschool Co-op that meets in our Meeting. If anything gives me a grateful heart it is those kiddos.
Usually, we have about 4 weeks between readings, but due to schedule conflicts this month I was returning in two weeks and just after the Halloween holiday. The kids were still thinking about Trick or Treating and probably still on a bit of a sugar high, so it was hard to make the transition to November.
Sue helps me pick a book that fits for each month. So, for November, Sue gave me a really funny book called 10 Fat Turkeys. I asked the kids before showing them the book, what special holiday comes in November. They looked around and then one kid said, “Christmas!” No, I said, and then another shouted, “Halloween.” No, we just had Halloween. Finally, one of the boys in the front row lit up and yelled out, “It’s Turkey Day!”
With that answer, I needed to ask for more clarification, “What is Turkey Day about?” Then a girl decided to correct him by saying, “It is not Turkey Day, it’s called Thanksgiving.”
Now, we were getting somewhere. I asked, “What is Thanksgiving about?” And the boy said, “Having Turkey!” The teachers and parents just shook their heads. So, I took a moment to talk about the meaning of thanksgiving and then ironically read a book about Turkeys.
Sometimes, this is how hard gratitude and thanksgiving are for adults as well. Very rarely do I turn on my T.V. or radio anymore and hear people sharing moments of gratitude. Actually, if I am completely honest, I don’t hear much of what Brenda read in the scripture for today. Very little if any…
compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, bearing with one another, forgiving each other…and especially thankfulness and gratitude.
These are almost radical beliefs and actions in our world today.
For many, just the idea of the Thanksgiving holiday and getting together with family, seems a burden or a chore. And then add to that politics, religion, mass shootings, wars, family issues, and all that is going on in our world, and Thanksgiving Holidays can become anything but a time of gratitude and thanksgiving.
For example, here are some real-life descriptions of past family thanksgivings that were a bit more than thankful.
From MPaug on Twitter: “When I was a little kid, I asked to say the prayer. It was a big honor to get to say it. My family was notorious for fighting so I said my little prayer all nice and cute then ended with a smart-alecky, "God please let my family act normal today and not fight". Before I could blink my German grandmother slapped me across the face really hard which ticked off my mother. Lots of yelling ensued and we all ended up leaving.
From Taylor on Facebook: "One year, two of my aunts had a heated argument over who wanted the last bit of turkey skin more. Long story short, one stabbed the other in the hand with a carving knife and had to leave to be treated at the hospital. They're cool now, though."
From Bill on Twitter: “I was around 5-6 years old. Us kids were playing hide-n-seek and I hid way in the back of Grandma's closet. While I was hiding back there, I found this beautiful deep red robe, I assumed it belonged to my grandfather who [passed] just after I was born. I tried it on, and it was huge on me, but the silk felt really smooth and cool, so I decided to go ask my grandma if I could have it to grow into.
Turns out granddad was a Grand Dragon in the Carolina KKK, and it was his ceremonial robe. The family members who didn’t know about this already were highly upset, the ones who knew were embarrassed. There was a small riot when I walked into the kitchen wearing it. That was an awkward Thanksgiving.”
Now, these real-life stories may make us laugh a bit – but the reality is that this is how it is for some families.
Sadly, too often it is trivial things that can lead us away from gratitude and missing all that our families and friends can offer us.
My friend John Pattison describes gratitude, so well, in his book, Slow Church. He sees gratitude…
“…as the vital bridge that connects abundance and generosity. As a spiritual discipline–one that requires time and intentionality, both on our own and in community–gratitude is how we practice recognizing the abundant gifts God has given us. It’s how we praise God for those gifts. And it is the energy that compels us to want to share those gifts.”
From the earliest days of our faith, the Hebrew people have considered gratitude foundational. The Hebrew Torah (or the first five books of the Old of First Testament) instructed people to make offerings of thanksgiving or peace offerings. Some English translations even call them fellowship offerings.
The reason for so many different variations (thanksgiving, peace, and fellowship) is that it reminds us that the posture of gratitude occurs in community and by coming together peacefully in fellowship with one another. This is why the word we translate shalom has such a wealth of meaning. Quakers are quick to make it solely about peace, but it is so much more.
Rabbi Rick Schechter says,
“More than peace, shalom means well-being, health, wholeness, and prosperity…Using a Jewish lens to explore each path may help us realize shalom in our lives.
The Positive emotions it includes are “joy, love, gratitude, hope, and awe…” and “…are vital to Jewish living….” and… “enhance energy and creativity, strengthen the immune system, build better relationships, promote higher productivity, and even contribute to a longer life.”
This concept and belief continue throughout our New or Second Testament as well as the Hebrew scriptures.
Author David Pao says that some scholars believe that Paul mentions this shalom – what he considers a mix of thanksgiving and grace more frequently per page than any other Hellenistic writer of his time.
Judao-Christian faith is steeped in shalom or thanksgiving and grace which happens within community.
Did you know research shows that gratitude or being thankful can…
Help you make friends.
One study found that thanking a new acquaintance makes them more likely to seek a more lasting relationship with you.
It can help Improve your physical health.
People who exhibit gratitude report fewer aches and pains, a general feeling of health, more regular exercise, and more frequent checkups with their doctor than those who don’t.
It can improve your psychological health.
Grateful people enjoy higher wellbeing and happiness and suffer from reduced symptoms of depression.
It can enhance empathy and reduces aggression.
Those who show their gratitude are less likely to seek revenge against others and more likely to behave in a prosocial manner, with sensitivity and empathy.
It can improve your sleep.
Practicing gratitude regularly can help you sleep longer and better.
It can enhance your self-esteem.
People who are grateful have increased self-esteem, partly due to their ability to appreciate other peoples’ accomplishments.
It can increase our mental strength.
Grateful people have an advantage in overcoming trauma and enhanced resilience, helping them to bounce back from highly stressful situations.
What this shows is that gratitude is essential to our well-being, to our livelihood, even to our health. It is how we are wired and a needed aspect of our daily lives. But the reality is that we in the United States are often lacking in gratitude.
Scientist Robert Emmons says,
We live in a nation where everyone is on the pursuit of happiness. Each individual has their own path this journey takes. For some, the search begins in books; for others it comes through service.
But perhaps the most popular form of seeking happiness is through the accumulation of “things.” Materialism, though, is bought at a cost. A society that feels entitled to what it receives does not adequately express gratitude. Seen through the lens of buying and selling, relationships as well as things are viewed as disposable, and gratitude cannot survive this materialistic onslaught. The lack of gratitude is contagious and is passed from one generation to the next.
Conversely, the act of gratitude is also viral and has been found to greatly and positively influence not just relationships, but one’s own emotional status.
And it isn’t just materialism and our own entitlement that gets in the way, even the bible addresses barriers to Gratitude. Things like
Doubting
Ignorance
Pride
Anger or Disappointment
Self-Centeredness
Pursuit of Pleasure
A Critical Spirit
That is why in our scripture this morning, Paul reminded them to be thankful.
Be compassionate, kind, humble, meek, patient. Bear with one another, forgive each other, but above all, clothe yourselves with love, and be thankful.
So, this morning, as we enter waiting worship, we are going to put up on the screen several Gratitude queries for you to ponder. Take some time to think about them and then find ways to express and share your gratitude this week.
Gratitude Queries:
1. What aspects of your city or neighborhood are you grateful for?
2. What have others done in your life that you’re grateful for?
3. Who is someone that really listens when you talk, and how does that affect you?
4. What’s a stressor you’re grateful to have put behind you this year?
5. How many of your basic needs do you not have to worry about meeting today?
6. What’s the best thing about your home, and have you taken the time to enjoy it recently?
7. Have you had a chance to help someone recently, and how did that make you feel?
8. What’s something you look forward to in the future?
9. What’s something enjoyable you get to experience every day that you’ve come to take for granted?
10.What’s a hard lesson that you were grateful to learn?
11.What about today has been better than yesterday?
12.What’s an aspect of your physical health that you feel grateful for?
13.What happened today/yesterday/this week/this month/this year that you’re grateful for?
14.What’s an aspect of your personality that you’re grateful for?
15.How have you used your talents recently, and what have you enjoyed about doing that?
16.What relationships are you grateful for?
17.What’s one thoughtful thing someone did for you recently?
18.What’s an aspect of how you were parented for which you feel grateful?
19.What’s one thing you’ve enjoyed about doing your job recently?
20.What made you laugh or smile today?