Hospitality: The Craft of Opening Ourselves to See Our Neighbor
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Pastor Bob Henry
April 7, 2024
Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections. The scripture text I have chosen for today is Romans 12:9-18 from the New Revised Standard Version.
Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
For the next several weeks, I want to return to looking at more of the Quaker virtues we were discussing before Easter. This week, I want to look at hospitality, which is a word with a deep spiritual history. If you take a moment and investigate its history, you would immediately be introduced to the monasteries that show up around the 5th century. Strangers in need would come there for care. In fact, the first primitive hospitals began in monasteries.
Hospital, hospice, hospitable, hospitality—all come from the same root word, meaning generous, caring, and sustaining.
Probably, one of the most famous of these early monasteries was that of St. Benedict. Benedict created a book of rules to live by, called The Rule of Benedict, which is used still today by many monasteries and faith communities.
Ironically, I was first introduced to the Rule of Benedict by no other than Quaker author, Richard Foster. Actually, he passed out copies of the Rule books at a Renovaré conference that Sue and I attended back in late 90’s (I still have my copy). At that time, I was a bit more “rule” oriented myself – especially as an Anglican Priest, but Foster had a way of making the Rules seem life-giving rather than life-depleting or sequestering.
This was the beginning of a several year journey that had me delving deeper into, not only my own spiritual formation, but also to my spiritual engagement with the world and people around me.
For many years I struggled with the formation of a disciplined life in community. Then in one of those rare moments of insight, I stopped into a bookstore in an airport where I had some time to kill before my departure. In that little bookstore as I perused the books on the shelves, I came across a book that caught my attention. As I went to pull it out, another much smaller book came with it. It fell to the floor. As I bent to pick it up, I read the title, “The Wisdom of Stability: Rooting Faith in a Mobile Culture” by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove. What an intriguing title, I thought.
At the time I had never heard of Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove or this book. By this point, I had totally reshelved the book I had originally grabbed and had begun to read “The Wisdom of Stability” right there in the aisle. I was quickly drawn in by how Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove encouraged people of faith, like you and me, to:
1. Root ourselves more deliberately in the place where we live and worship.
2. Engage the people we are with and among.
3. Slow down and participate in simpler rhythms of life, and
4. Live in a way that speaks to the deeper meanings of the human heart.
I think, at that time, my hectic life and even more hectic practice of the Christian faith was immediately challenged by these ideas. Slowing, rooting, and engaging deeper meaning were not things I could quickly implement into my journey.
I was still working under the principle that we were to wear ourselves out for God until we literally died. How ironic when one of the 10 original commandments were to “remember the sabbath” and make sure to rest.
I stopped at that point, bought the book, jumped on my plane, and read the entire book on my flight home.
What I learned was that knowing and rooting ourselves in place is where we start, and when we take the next steps, it becomes about the importance of our interaction with neighbors and community. What happened to it just being about me, I thought?
My friend, John Pattison calls these next steps having a “fidelity to people” – a faithfulness to neighbors and community that is supported by a continuing loyalty and support.
Up to this time, much of Christianity, or for that matter faith in general, was all about ME and doing something about MY sin. It was so myopic and down-right selfish that it had little room for others.
But Wilson-Hartgrove was asking me to engage people I was with and among to understand God and faith better – instead of getting them saved or to attend my church.
Ultimately in this journey, I would be led to embrace the Quaker understanding of seeing that of God in all people - especially my neighbor.
This myopic nature that I struggled with has hurt the Christian church in America and taken us away from communicating effectively and living, learning from, and seeing God in our neighbors.
This “fidelity to people” as my friend John put it has sadly become rare in the church and even society as we become more alienated, polarized, isolated, and individualistic.
Today, many simply want people to fit into their religious, political, socio-economic, even racial categories to keep it simple and homogenous.
We are not looking for “that of God” as much as we are looking for “that of us” in our neighbors. Let me repeat that.
We are not looking for “that of God” as much as we are looking for “that of us” in our neighbors.
Both individually and corporately we are seeing less of each other and thus don’t know how to communicate or live with one another – and we are missing out on seeing God alive and active around us in our neighbors’ lives.
I strongly believe that where we live can affect this, but also how we see ourselves as part of where we live has an even greater effect. We need to be asking ourselves again…
What’s our purpose in this place? Is life simply about or for us, individually – or are we called to something greater, something that entails working alongside and with our neighbors and community?
Our scriptures for this morning in the New Revised Standard Version are labeled “The Marks of a True Christian” or what we could say are the marks of a true Quaker, a true Friend, a true neighbor, or simply a true human being… Let me highlight some of those attributes again and notice how many deals directly with how we interact with those around us.
Loving one another with mutual affection.
Outdoing one another in showing honor.
Not lagging in zeal.
Rejoicing in hope.
Patient in suffering.
Extending hospitality to strangers.
Blessing those who persecute you.
Rejoicing and weeping with those who rejoice and weep.
Living in harmony with one another.
Associating with the lowly.
Not claiming you are wiser than you are.
Not repaying evil for evil – vengeance.
Taking thought for what is noble.
Living peaceably with all.
Clearly our faith is not an individualist experience – it must be communal.
These attributes are what set early Christians apart from the rest of the world. This has become known today as “radical hospitality.” Radical meaning - out of the ordinary or even revolutionary and hospitality meaning, as I said earlier, generous, caring, and sustaining. Did you hear that?
Out of the ordinary generosity or Revolutionary caring and sustaining.
Johnathan Wilson Hartgrove actually labeled these attributes as “the craft of life with God.” I love that description.
We are becoming more and more familiar with the concept of “craft” in our society today. Everywhere you frequent these days is offering craft food or craft beverages. The Etsy website is a marketplace for craft. Even the Smithsonian in a recent article stated that “The State of American Craft Has Never Been Stronger.”
But in applying the idea of craft to hospitality and life with God and one another, you are faced with the very definition of craft itself - just listen to this definition:
Craft emanates from community and lineage; much like it would have historically through processes and practices, passed on from one individual to another….it’s one of the most democratic art forms, practiced by people of all ages and socio-economic and racial backgrounds. This distinction affords craft the opportunity to instigate critical conversation and has the potential to be life-changing.
Wow, craft is a powerful word to use in light of what we are talking about.
So, what does Johnathan Wilson Hartgrove mean when he says, “the craft of life with God”?
To answer that, Johnathan Wilson-Hartgrove, also was very interested in the Rule of St. Benedict, going as far as to create a contemporary paraphrase of the book.
In “The Wisdom of Stability” Wilson-Hartgrove begins by translating St. Benedict this way,
“In the craft of life with God, we need tools to work with. Most of all keep this tool close at hand: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might…and love your neighbor as yourself. And never let these get buried too deep in the tool box.”
He goes on to say,
“…while the scriptures give us words of instruction to describe a life with God, we learn that by walking it in the company of others. Like the master carpenter who shows an apprentice his tools and then stands beside him as he learns to use them, Benedict introduces tools for life with God to the disciple who is going to stay put in community, learning the craft from others. Apart from life together, these tools are as useless as a hammer might be to the son of a carpenter who makes his living at a desk job. But in the context of a community, their relevance is crystal clear. These are the tools that make it possible for people to live together in the way of Jesus.”
So, what were some of those tools that Benedict said were essential for the craft of life with God. Here are what Wilson-Hartgrove points out.
He starts with some basics from the Ten Commandments and then gets more specific:
Do not kill, commit adultery, give false report, don’t even do to someone else what you wouldn’t want done to yourself.
Leave your own will behind so you can follow Christ’s example.
Love fasting
Use your extra time and resources to assist the poor, clothe the naked, visit the sick.
If someone is in trouble – help them. If sad – comfort them.
Don’t lash out in anger or nurse a grudge against someone who’s wronged you.
Greet someone with Peace - and mean it!
Make promises that you can keep. Tell the truth, be honest with yourself and others.
Don’t fight like other people fight – returning evil for evil.
Suffer patiently, refusing to pass another’s violence on to someone else.
Love your enemies.
If you get cussed out, don’t strike back with your own assault of words. Find a way to bless them, instead.
Endure persecution for the sake of justice.
Don’t be addicted to your own self-image or to anything else that promises cheap fulfillment or an easy escape from problems.
Beware of too much eating or too much sleeping. Watch out for laziness.
Don’t spend your time complaining or talking bad about other people.
Make amends when you have done harm to others.
Never forget you are going to die.
Listen to the wisdom of those who have gone before you.
Devote yourself to prayer.
Confess your sins.
Resolve to leave your addictions and protective mechanisms behind.
Don’t give into your twisted desires.
Listen to the leadership of your community (if they are trustworthy).
Work on becoming a saint – so that one day your actions will speak for themselves.
Treasure chastity.
Don’t harbor hatred or jealousy, and don’t let envy drive a single action.
Don’t get into arguing and turn your back on arrogance.
Respect the wise and love the inexperienced in community.
Never lose hope in God’ mercy.
I find this list rather convicting in the world in which we live currently. Jonathan says,
“Our twisted desires, selfish impulses, defense mechanisms, and bad habits are not simply failure to “hit the mark” that humans aim for…” rather “It is a sickness that infects communities, destroying the fabric of life itself.”
I think this speaks to the condition of America, right now. There is a sickness that is infecting our communities and destroying the fabric of life. And we must be better people, better neighbors, better F/friends to stop the spread of that sickness.
I will say it again… We are not looking for “that of God” as much as we are looking for “that of us” in our neighbors. And when we attempt living out these essentials – we open the door to crafting a life with God through our own life and the lives of our neighbors.
If we are going to bring hope to our lives and those around us, we must start by dedicating ourselves to seeing and living with the people in our communities daily.
We need to get off our screens and go have coffee or lunch with someone. We need to go on road trips and engage other communities and cultures. We need to step out of our comfort zones and open the door to people who may be much different than us.
I believe as we rail on the news outlets, as we are disappointed in our leaders, as we struggle to understand our neighbors and the crazy world we live in, we are being heralded to take up the “craft of life with God.”
Only by changing ourselves, by getting our “hands dirty,” (in the humus of humanity, as I said last week), and embracing the needed skills, are we able to utilize the craft of life with God to transform our relationships, our neighborhoods, and ultimately our world.
Take a moment this morning in waiting worship to consider those relationships that need crafted. Those neighborhoods that need crafted. Those workplaces that need crafted. Those learning environments that need crafted. And then think about our place right here at First Friends. What do we need to craft in our midst?
Am I ready for the doors to open? If not, what will prepare me?
What essentials of the craft do I need to hone? What tools might I need?
Am I willing to take the step of seeking that of God in ALL my neighbors?
As a charge this morning I would like to close with a beautiful poem by Lindasusan Ulrich called “Open Up the Doors.” May this be our call to action this week!
Open up the doors
Push on looming wooden arches embroidered with ironwork
Brace shoulders against the weight of history unmoved
Slough off the musty smell of unused joy and stored up sorrow
Knock rust off the hinges if you have to
And let your breath precede you inside.
Open the doors more
Make room for a shaft of sunlight to cross the threshold
Give the dust mites something to dance about
Peek through a single slice of possibility
And name even the half-hidden truths you see.
Open the doors wider still
Pour yourself through the gap
Strut or sneak or sidle, as suits you best
Cleanse whatever scrapes catch your skin
And bind up the wounds that keep you from entering whole.
Open the doors as far as they will go
Draw on the strength of the stones beneath you
Ground yourself in a firm sense of who you are
Stand as a beacon welcoming the next seeker
And shine far beyond the lintel and sill.
Open all that you are
Heighten and deepen your connections to the world around you
Broaden your definition of neighbor
Grow into the largest target for grace that you can muster
And pray to become a gateway for even greater love and compassion.
Open up the doors, my friends,
Lest we keep the stranger out
And condemn ourselves to prisons of our own making.
Amen! Now, let us enter a time of waiting worship. Consider some of the following queries that I shared in my message as you enter the silence.
1. What’s my purpose in this place? Is life simply about me, individually – or am I called to something greater, something that entails working alongside and with my neighbors and community?
2. Am I ready for the doors to open? If not, what will prepare me?
3. What essentials of the craft do I need to hone? What tools might I need?
4. Am I willing to take the step of seeking that of God in ALL my neighbors?