9-29-24 - Sharing your Gifts – Rachel Robinson Elmer

Sharing your Gifts – Rachel Robinson Elmer

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

September 29, 2024

Good morning, Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections.  This week we continue our series, “Speak Truth to Power: The Legacy of Quakers.”  The scripture I have chosen for this morning is from 1 Peter 4:10 from The Voice version.

Use whatever gift you’ve received for the good of one another so that you can show yourselves to be good stewards of God’s grace in all its varieties.

This past week in the Daily Quaker email feed I ran across the following quote from Amber, a Quaker from South Bend, Indiana. It not only spoke to my condition, but I found it the best way to open this message about Quaker artist, Rachel Robinson Elmer. Amber says,

"As a singer and an artist, I often think of the risk and discomfort that musicians and artists have to go through to share their art with the world. The art that inspires me most is a deeply personal window into the person who created it, and to open the deepest version of yourself up to public scrutiny is terrifying. Not to mention the loss of peace, privacy, and simplicity that can go with such endeavors. In my view this is a huge sacrifice, but art and music are my most common source of engagement with the Holy Spirit. Seemingly small pieces of art and music contain ripples of peace, inspiration, empathy, and joy.

What is my duty to Spirit, others, and myself? My duty is to create and use the talents that I've been given to create as many ripples of light as I can in this world, and as much as it might frighten me, perhaps it is also my duty to sacrifice some of my comfort and put my art out there when I have the opportunity. It is also my duty to create access for others to experience and create art and music and remove barriers around art for the people in my community."

I love that image of “creating as many ripples of light as I can in this world,” no matter if it frightens me or causes me to sacrifice some of my comfort.  As an artist myself, I understand the challenge that Amber is speaking of.  Our art is intimate and often comes from a deep place within us – some would say it comes from the depths of our souls. To share one’s art is to be vulnerable, to expose one’s values, to open one up for critique, and on occasion to receive rejection.

When an artist shares a poem, a painting, a song…you name it….they sacrifice a piece of themselves for the benefit of the community.  And when it is not welcomed or recognized, it feels like an assault on one’s very being.

I say this to remind us to tread lightly and learn to appreciate those expressing themselves artistically from the depths of their souls. Pause for a moment and listen carefully, look intently, and allow yourself to experience what all is within and behind their art. Just maybe you will see how the artist is speaking their truth to power.   

The Quaker we are looking at today, Rachael Robinson Elmer is someone who created ripples of light in her world and spoke her truth to power through her art. She is maybe the Quaker in this series that I personally relate to the most. Again, I will be sharing her story from Quaker Stories: Now and Then, Here and There.

Rachael Robinson Elmer had many gifts. She was musical, artistic, a good writer, and a talented speaker. When she was a teenager, her father told her to concentrate on one thing. She chose art and filled her life with its beauty and it became a way of communicating her care for others and the world around her.

Rachael was born on a Ferrisburgh, Vermont farm on July 28, 1878. Her father Rowland was a farmer, conservationist, artist, and writer. Her mother Anna was an artist and teacher. Rachael grew up in a Quaker home where there were books, music, interesting people and stories of the Underground Railroad, and folktales of the area, farming, fishing, and hunting. She looked out her window and saw Lake Champlain, the Adirondack Mountains, the fields dotted with sheep and cows, and the colors of the forests. She and her father took many walks in the countryside in place of her “female” chores in the house. 

She was the first child of older parents though sister Mary and brother Rowland would come later. From the time she was little she drew the flora and fauna around her, filling the pages of sketchbooks her mother bought her or her father made for her. Like her father had when he was small, she also covered the margins and covers of books, the backs of letters and farm receipts, cereal boxes, and a wall or two with her detailed pictures of what she saw. Her classmates loved her sketches and paintings as well as her cheerful and kind manner. “She brought joy to every occasion,” one of them shared. Every week she and her mother took the train into Burlington for art classes. At 12, she was enrolled in a correspondence course in art from the Chautauqua Society, where the director recognized her as one of the most talented students he’d ever had.

At 14, she was invited to New York City to take classes with live models. Can you imagine a young teenager from the Vermont hills encountering a crowded urban center? In fact, she loved it! Each time she came back for her classes with Max Ernst, she discovered new favorite spots to visit and paint. Armed with more education at Goddard Academy in Barre, Vermont, two years of teaching in Burlington and Ferrisburgh, and tutoring from Anna in color, composition, and perspective, she returned to New York. She studied under Impressionist painter Hassam Childe and got work illustrating for several children’s book publishers.

When a Quaker friend sent her a postcard from London, not a black and white photographic-like one, but a lovely fine art painting, she was almost moved to tears. When her friend encouraged her with the words, “Our city is surely as lovely and thee could serve her well,” Rachael knew she had been called to a new task. She roamed the city, painting her favorite spots and then spent two years and at least three pairs of shoes looking for a publisher to create postcards from her paintings. Finally, P.F. Volland in Chicago agreed, the postcards were published in 1914, and the postcard industry was changed forever. The fine art paintings sold for 25 cents at the best boutiques and were an immediate success. 

She continued her illustrating and was praised by her employers for her detail, color, and liveliness of her characters. She was never without work. When she married Robert France Elmer, a widowed banker, she found new love and support. Her husband often took over the cooking and housework to give Rachael time and space for her artistic endeavors. Together, they entertained and shared their home with others. During World War I, they often invited young soldiers to their home, feeding them, caring for the sick, and boosting morale. Rachael understood how scared and homesick these young men from farms and cities were as they waited to ship overseas or came back from the war, injured and weighed down with the memories of the violence. She did not agree with war as the answer but was called to fill their lives with beauty, joy, and hope. She’d never done much cartooning as had her father, but she filled the walls of the soldiers’ canteens with posters and murals to make them laugh and give them memories of home.

On February 13, 1919, Rachael Robinson Elmer died of influenza, probably infected by one of those young soldiers. She was mourned by her family and friends and remembered by villagers in France who had been able to plant trees destroyed in the war with funds Rachael had raised. She was also remembered fondly by former students and classmates for her charm, inner and outer beauty, generous nature, and sense of fun.

Her home, the Rokeby Farm, was turned into a museum in 1961, when the last Robinson family member died and left the property for that purpose. Today, from May to October, the museum and the old farmhouse are open to visitors. Recently, the museum turned over 15,000 family letters to the library at Middlebury College. These letters contain vivid pictures of life on the farm in Ferrisburgh, adventures in the cities where family members worked, studied, and traveled, concerns for the health and behavior of relatives, and social justice activities of generations of Robinsons.

As I begin to unpack the take-aways from today’s story.  I want to start by returning to our scripture for this morning. I believe Rachel Robinson Elmer is a model of someone who used the gifts she received from the Spirit for the good of one another.  And she showed herself to be a good steward of God’s grace through sharing her art.

I think this is why Quakers often include stewardship of one’s gifts as an important part of the testimony of Integrity.  We, Quakers, are to strive to use our gifts in a way that is consistent with our values, because we believe that integrity is a key part of actually living a life of honesty and authenticity. Phil Gulley explained this so well in his message, “Not just Integrity, but Integration,” where he said,

We live with this need always, Friends, to weave our lives into a seamless garment, when what we say and believe and do are one and the same no matter what, to integrate our lives, so what we love is what we do, so what we believe becomes our first impulse and not our eventual one. Not just living near the truth, within viewing distance of it, but living in it and being of it.

Rachel Robinson Elmer was able to integrate her life in a way that what she said, believed, and did were one and the same. 

Maybe a more modern way of thinking of this is in the concept of craft. When I was in Oregon, I found myself in many conversations about how we define craft today and especially what that looks like within our meeting.

Some may think craft is just a buzz word or simple label given to represent some type of standard of quality, innovation, or tradition. Yet in my conversations, we talked about how craft is more about integrating our values into what we are creating, and presenting something from ourselves that is unique, authentic, thoughtful, and for the enjoyment or even betterment of our community. In this light, we are moving from simply seeking integrity to integrating integrity into the core of our craft. 

I believe Rachel Robinson Elmer is teaching us, still today, the craft of finding beauty, joy, and hope in our world through sharing our gifts. And please understand, that does not mean only gifts we consider artistic such as things like singing, painting, poetry…no, we ALL have gifts that offer the world beauty, joy, and hope, if we choose to recognize, integrate, and ultimately share them. 

Every summer and throughout the year we showcase a plethora of musical talents from within our meeting; singers and musicians, all who bring beauty, joy, and hope to our community. 

But in the same way, I think of someone like Larry Mills. He shares his gifts with us on a weekly basis, mostly behind the scenes. I bet some people in this room don’t even know who Larry is. Not only does Larry sing in the choir each week, he also shares his gifts and talents to keep this building maintained and safe for us to worship, work, and fellowship within. I believe he authentically, thoughtfully, honestly, with integrity, works to make this building viable so beauty, joy, and hope can thrive – because that is his craft, and he has integrated his values into the gifts he shares with us. 

Yet for most of us, his gifts go unseen, like the automatic flusher he installed on the urinal in the men’s bathroom (which many would take for granted), or the care he takes to keep our boiler running throughout the winter. Very few people would recognize these gifts, but we all reap the benefits of him sharing them with us.  Thank you, Larry, for sharing your gifts with us. 

And I am sure if we took a moment right now to think about it, most of the people who have made an impact in our lives are those who have learned to integrate their values into sharing their gifts and talents for the betterment of this world. They are the people who have created “ripples of light” in our communities.  People who have blessed us with their unique gifts, talents, art. People who have showed us beauty, joy, hope in the midst of difficult times or when we needed it the most. 

And that leads me to ask, what gifts, talents, art, craft do you have to offer to your community and world?

To ponder this, let’s take some time to turn this conversation on ourselves. To help us do that, I have some queries for us to consider this morning. 

·        How am I using the gifts and talents that I've been given to create as many ripples of light as I can in this world?

·        What frightens me about sharing my gifts and talents? Will I need to sacrifice some of my comfort in sharing?

·        How am I embracing the craft and integrating my values into sharing my gifts?

9-22-24 - Seeking Dignity and Respect for All – Paul Cuffe

Seeking Dignity and Respect for All – Paul Cuffe

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

September 22, 2024

Good morning Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections. This morning we continue our Speak Truth to Power series by looking at Quaker Paul Cuffe.  The scripture I have chosen is from Philippians 2:3-4 from the New Century Version.

When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves. Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others.

A few years ago, I was visiting the original Pike Place Starbucks in Seattle.  I noticed at the original store, they still use the logo from 1971 that Terry Heckler designed. Other than removing the bare chest of the siren, sharpening up the image to make it a bit more modern, and changing the color from brown to green, most of us can recognize the now famous siren logo as representing Starbucks. But the more I looked at the image, the more I became curious. My curiosity led me to make some connections that unexpectedly led back to Quakers. 

Obviously, the logo and the name, Starbucks implies a connection to the classic novel, Moby Dick.  And when standing in Seattle at Pike Place Market it is hard not to miss the sea of the Puget Sound calling sailors to the Pacific Ocean. Yet if you went to your local library and pulled a copy of Moby Dick off the shelf and started reading, you would quickly find the character Starbuck, who is the first mate of the Pequod and operates as the voice of reason aboard the ship. He is a Quaker and periodically brings up a religious perspective in some of the arguments that take place on the Pequod's journey. 

Even though this is a fictional tale, it borrows from real life. Mary Coffin Starbuck was interestingly a relative of Lucretia Mott, who also, as we heard last week, had connections to the whaling industry. The islands off Massachusetts became whaling central in early America, and Quakers were the foundation of its success.  There is so much interesting history in this story. Even at one point a Starbuck marries a Folger – yes of another coffee fame. You cannot make this stuff up. 

Anyway, I say this all to lead us to look at another historic Quaker, Paul Cuffe, the first wealthy and successful black man in America.  Again, Paul has a very interesting story that I believe is still relevant for Friends, today.  Let me share a little of his story again from Quaker Stories: Now and Then, Here and There.

In 1759, Paul Cuffe was born on Cuttybunk Island, the southwest Island of the Elizabeth Island archipelago off the coast of Massachusetts near the present city of New Bedford. His father, Kofi, had been brought to America from the Akan tribe in present day Ghana and bought by a Quaker, Ebenezer Slocum, and sold later to his nephew John, who freed him two years later. Kofi married a woman, Ruth Moses, of the Aquinnah Wampanoag Tribe and raised ten children with her. Paul was the seventh of these children and learned practical skills of carpentry, farming, and fishing from his father. As a small boy, he spent hours on the rocky shores of the small island, observing the sea – the tides, the currents, and the shoals. From both his parents, he learned a spirituality that respected people and the natural world. From them he learned Quaker values of respect for all as children of God, the importance of education, responsibility for family, providing for the less fortunate, speaking the truth, and working hard to develop the gifts given to you. Kofi Slocum’s watchwords were “Give, give, give.” Though his father died when he was about ten, Paul never forgot these lessons.

His father left the 116 acres of farm land he had bought near Dartmouth/Westport to Paul and his older brother John, but Paul was pulled to the sea and sailed on his first whaling journey at 16. He learned navigational skills, shipbuilding, and whaling from the sailors and work on the boats. Captured by the British and held in New York as a prisoner for three months during the Revolutionary War, he had time to think about what he was going to do with his future. When he returned home, he used timber from his land and built a small boat to run the British blockade and supply goods to Nantucket and other island towns…He built a bigger boat, used the business and social skills of the wealthy Quaker trader William Rotch as his model, and set up a hauling, trading, real estate, shipbuilding, and whaling business. He married his Wampanoag wife Anna and had seven children, two sons and five daughters and built a school on his own property to ensure an education for them, their cousins, and any white children who wanted to attend. He partnered with his brother-in-law, Michael Wainer, the Wampanoag husband of his sister Mary, and sailed with his all African American and Native American crews, mostly relatives, north to Newfoundland and south to Philadelphia, Virginia, and South Carolina. Later, he would trade across the Atlantic to England, France, Spain, Portugal, Africa, the West Indies, and the Gulf Coast. Everywhere he went he learned from the people he met and developed a reputation for honesty, intelligence, good common sense, courage and respect for others.

He suffered the insults and prejudices of a black man with humility but no sign of weakness. He encouraged his crew to act with dignity and respect to all. Audacious enough to sail his all-black crew into southern ports, he found his presence and that of his crews led to surprise and business acceptance, even kindness on occasion. When he returned from his first trip to the African shores, his ship and cargo were seized in the Newport, RI harbor due to embargoes he was unaware of. He rallied his supporters from the wealthy Quaker shipping trade of New Bedford to Massachusetts politicians to Philadelphia businessmen, both black and white, and went to Washington, DC to see President James Madison. Helped by DC and Baltimore Quakers, he entered the “front” door of the White House, met the president, stated his protest and request, and gained his waiver to recover ship and goods…

…As he travelled, Paul Cuffe became more and more concerned about the slave trade, the plight of slaves, and the treatment of free blacks in the North. During his international trading, Paul Cuffe met abolitionists in Great Britain, received a favorable welcome, and saw ways he could build on British efforts in Sierra Leone to stop the slave trade and find a home in Africa where freedmen could not only improve themselves but serve as helpmates and models for the improvement of the African peoples. He hoped to educate Africans for future self-determination and entrance into the nations of the world. Having joined the Westport Friends Meeting in 1808, he prayed for the way to open that he might implement his dream and sought support from his meeting. In 1811 he received a minute of approval to travel to Sierra Leone to explore possibilities. The work of his remaining years was to begin.

Always an organizer and a pragmatist, he set up groups of supporters in the black communities of Boston, New York, Philadelphia, and Baltimore. He worked to raise money to set up a triangular trade between Sierra Leone, Great Britain, and the United States, buy tools and machinery to develop agriculture and small factories, and even start a whaling industry with African sailors he would train to someday man their own fleet. Having met some American and Jamaican freedman, most from Nova Scotia and England, he helped them form a Friendly Society that would plan and lead the local efforts in Sierra Leone.

Unfortunately, the War of 1812, the events of slave rebellions in the U.S. and Haiti, the increasing fears of Southern slaveowners, and the imbedded social culture of racial prejudice were to lead to the lack of fulfillment of his aspirations. Accepted as he was, wealthy as he had become, respected and dignified, Paul Cuffe was not able to realize his humanity as a child of God, irregardless of the color of his skin. His dream was co-opted by the American Colonization Society led by many Southern politicians and slaveowners, misunderstood by black leaders like James Forten and Absalom Jones, and hampered by self-serving chiefs and British merchants of Sierra Leone…He knew deep inside that those who are to be helped must have the opportunity to be a part of the planning and the leadership of those plans. He had worked hard, given of himself and his worldly goods, been courageous, honest, and strong, served his family and his community. He became ill, tired, and somewhat despondent. He was not to recover. As friends and family gathered at his sick bed in September, 1817, he asked only, “Let me die quietly.” He was buried next to his wife Anna in the cemetery of the Westport Friends Meeting albeit in a far corner.

So, what are our takeaways this morning. If you notice, there is a theme being developed in this series. From Bayard Rustin’s Grandma, Lucretia Mott’s parents, and again Paul Cuffe’s parents, we are seeing the importance of Quaker values being passed down from family members, fellow Friends, and especially through Quaker communities.

With all the new young families and children coming to First Friends, I believe it is now, more than ever, vital to teach a new generation the Quaker values instilled in Paul Cuffe; respecting the equality of All people, teaching the responsibilities and importance of family and community, being a voice for the less fortunate, learning the stewardship of the earth, and cultivating the gifts the divine has given each of us.

Still, our world continues to tell us we deserve to take, take, take in a selfish and self-serving manner, we need to instead speak Kofi Slocum’s watchwords, “Give, give, give” once again to instill and cultivate a servant heart in our midst.  

We, at First Friends must be committed to continually teaching and modeling a desire to serve and love others like we see in Paul Cuffe’s life. People are not automatically born with a servant's heart, it must be modeled, tested, nurtured, and learned among a community that is willing to sacrifice and utilize their gifts for the betterment of others.  

We must ask, are we serving ourselves more than we are serving others? Are we seeing and responding to those in need of support, love, and care within and around us?

This is why instead of being an organization or a church, we consider ourselves a Society of Friends – a society is a people who live together with a common purpose. For Quakers that purpose is to live out our testimonies or S.P.I.C.E.S. – Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality, and Stewardship.  

So often today, we want to, or are taught to, do things all on our own, so we alone receive the notoriety and success, but Paul Cuffe displays a genuine need for the support of his Quaker Meeting and other local communities to do even greater things. 

As the first Black Sea Captain and first real successful black man in our country, he didn’t need money, he needed the mental, spiritual, and emotional support of a community that he could trust with his life, family, and work. Paul needed people to call on when things got tough. He needed people to stand with him when the world around him denied, rejected and even imprisoned him. He needed people who believed in him, respected him, and on occasion challenged him to be an even better person, citizen, father, and husband. And sadly, even with all this support, the imbedded social culture of racial prejudice of his day led to him not being able to fully see his aspirations fulfilled. 

This is why today; we have groups like American Friends Service Committee, Indiana Friends Committee on Legislation, and Friends Committee on National Legislation, because this work is never done. Just like Cuffe being supported to go back to Sierra Leone to work for change for slaves, AFSC, IFCL and FCNL are continuing this legacy to seek justice, dignity, and respect for ALL people in Indiana, the United States, and even the world. Friends in our Meeting, through these groups, are still working to free people from the slaveries brought on by our government and the legacy of oppressions we often unknowingly participate in. 

Now, when I was an Anglican Priest, to work outside of a church or parish, I needed the blessing of my bishop. When I went to serve as a Campus Pastor at Huntington University, I was given what was called “Missioner Status” and sent by my bishop and my entire Anglican Diocese. I have come to realize this is very similar to what we do among Friends. Paul Cuffe received a minute of approval to travel to Sierra Leone to Speak his Truth to Power about slavery.  

In the same manner, for those who did not attend our Business Meeting last week (or did not read it in Friend to Friend) you missed the Minute of Appreciation written by Ministry and Counsel for Mary Blackburn and her call to Creation Care work. Mary has not only been a creation care activist, but even more an educator in our midst passing down her call for dignity and respect for creation and challenging us to acknowledge and respond from our Quaker testimonies of Stewardship and Sustainability.

Just maybe, along with that minute of appreciation, we should also write a minute of travel for Mary Blackburn as she and David travel to Sequoia National Park each year to care for and protect the trees in the Giant Forrest. It would be a way of sending her with our support, so she may then share her work and learnings with us, our yearly meeting, and possibly the greater Quaker world, because we believe Mary is speaking her truth to power!

On our recent sabbatical, Sue and I visited the Sequoias and who did we think of while traveling up the mountains into the Giant Forrest, Mary Blackburn, because she has taught us so much about respecting, caring for, and her passion to save those trees.

And maybe you are discerning a call that has been placed on your heart this morning, and you want the wisdom and support of First Friends. Or you know a Friend who needs to be publicly appreciated for their work. These are ways that we as a body can recognize and support each other – through the difficult and the good times. This is acknowledging and freeing people to Speak their truth to Power.  And just maybe we too will raise our voice and be able to say as Paul Cuffe,

“My soul feels free to travel for the welfare of my fellow creatures both here and now.”

As we enter waiting worship, please take a moment to ponder these queries:

1.     Are we serving ourselves more than we are serving others?

2.     Are we seeing and responding to those in need of support, love, and care within and around us?

3.     How can we become an even better “Society of Friends” that encourages or acknowledges the gifts and work of others for the betterment of our world?

9-15-24 - Answering the Call—Lucretia Mott

Answering the Call—Lucretia Mott

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

September 15, 2024

Good morning, Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections.  Our scripture for this week is from Isaiah 58:11 out of the New Revised Standard Version.  

The Lord will guide you continually
    and satisfy your needs in parched places
    and make your bones strong,
and you shall be like a watered garden,
    like a spring of water
    whose waters never fail.

Last week, we kicked off this new sermon series, Speak Truth to Power: The Legacy of Quakers by looking at where the term Speak Truth to Power originated and its meaning to Friends. As I stated last week, I believe it is vital to revisit the lives of influential Friends who spoke truth to power and learn what they can teach us, and how they are calling upon us to continue their legacy, today.

I will never forget my first Philadelphia Trip with our Youth Affirmation Class a few years ago. The reason we take the youth is because of the saturation of Quaker influence and history in Philadelphia and its impact on the founding of our country. At one time there were five Quaker meeting within the city blocks of historic Philadelphia. One of my highlights was visiting one of those five, Arch Street Meeting, which stands as an enduring symbol of the people who created Pennsylvania as a "Holy Experiment,” which I still remember learning about in my history books as a child here in Indiana.

Arch Street was built to house the men's and women's Yearly Meetings, which were the business sessions of the Religious Society of Friends for Philadelphia, and remains, still today, as one of the oldest active houses of worship in the City. 

Besides the history and the simplistic beauty of the building, while we were there our tour guide invited some of the women from our group to sit on the very bench where Lucretia Mott worshipped and learned to speak her truth to power at Arch Street Meeting. I snapped a photo of that moment, and it appears on the cover of our bulletin, today.   

Yet to really understand the depths of all that took place on that bench, I must give you a little bit of Lucretia Mott’s story.  Most of the stories I am going to use in this series will come from the website, Quaker Stories: Now and Then, Here and There.    

Lucretia Mott spent her first eleven years on Nantucket Island. From her time there, she took away her Quaker roots – obedience to the Inner Light expressed in action, and the Nantucket Way – life led with steadfastness, resilience, love of family, and a sense of humor. She and her mother developed a relationship that was deep and supportive. From Anna Coffin she learned to read early, to care for her younger siblings and others, to run a household, and to be responsible for the needs of herself and her family. With her mother’s help, she struggled to curb her tart tongue and control her temper.

From her father, Thomas Coffin, Lucretia gained a sense of just how big the world was. She spent time with him down on the wharf, encountering black, white, Portuguese, Native American, and Cape Verdean sailors and sea captains. She asked endless questions to satisfy her curiosity. When he returned from long voyages to trade for goods in South America or even China or to hunt for whales, she listened to his stories of faraway places and people. When he returned from a three-year trip that included capture of his ship, trials to try to recover it, and then the long trek over the mountains to Brazil to get a ship home, Lucretia gained a legacy of courage.

Spending time in Quaker meeting for worship two times a week was difficult for an energetic Lucretia but taught her to search for what God wanted her to do and the need for obedience to answers she received. When Elizabeth Coggleshall, a Public Friend, spoke in meeting for worship one Sunday about living simply, Lucretia was so moved she knew she had to act to show this obedience. Despite her love for the blue bows that adorned her shoes, she hurried home, found scissors, cut off the bows, and convinced her younger sister Eliza to do the same.

Throughout her life, Lucretia expressed her obedience to the call to correct injustices and take care of the poor, oppressed, and marginalized through her spoken ministry in her Quaker community but also in her actions in that community and in the wider world. And, more often than not, she sought to involve her family and friends in whatever action she chose. In this, she was supported by her husband James and her large extended family. They traveled with her to meetings, helped welcome the many visitors who came for support, advice, or participation in her action, joined with her to set up committees, and cared for her when the pace or turmoil was too great. When Lucretia decided to boycott all goods produced by slave labor, she gave up her favorite ice cream and her children their sugar and molasses candy.

Lucretia Mott spoke against slavery in Quaker meetings, so often some of her fellow worshipers admonished her to be quiet. She led women, black and white, to join her in the Philadelphia Female Anti-Slavery Association. This group, not only gathered to call for an end of slavery. They also raised money to help poor families, encouraged the opening of schools for black children, and looked for ways to find jobs to empower self-support. And, she opened the hospitality of her home to black and white alike. When told she would not be seated as a delegate to a World Anti-Slavery Convention in London, she went anyway, speaking out against the exclusion of the women delegates. She traveled throughout England and Ireland raising her concerns, answering her critics, and showing respect for diverse views. 

It was during this time she met Elizabeth Cady Stanton and became her friend and mentor. Eight years later in 1848, the two joined by three other Quaker women initiated the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in upstate New York, where a Declaration of Sentiments based on the Declaration of Independence was developed and approved. In it was a call of full citizenship for women including the right to vote and a statement of the ways in which women were kept from reaching their potential. This was an issue that was to consume her for the next 30+ years.

Lucretia Mott was a pacifist and believed strongly in non-resistance. Many times, she and others in anti-slavery and women’s rights work debated non-resistance especially during the Civil War. When family and friends chose to fight, she was saddened but continued to love and support. President Lincoln opened the ranks of the military to blacks and built a training camp, ironically called Camp William Penn, across from Lucretia’s home outside of Philadelphia. She visited the young recruits who were fighting for a freedom they had never had, spoke to them about her hope that a time would come when wars were not needed, and brought fruits and vegetables from her gardens to enhance their bland food. She enlisted a young friend who had encountered the beauty of black spirituals during her teaching in freedmen’s schools to come and sing for and with the soldiers. When they departed, she sent them off with prayers for their safety. 

While her energy declined in her last years, she knew she had been faithful in her duty to be obedient to her Inner Light and to live and speak her truth. She even grew to accept her anger and use it to lead her to action. She had lost many of those she loved, but she was still surrounded by family and friends. At the graveside service, there was a silence. “Who will speak?” Another answered, “No one. The preacher is dead.”

Obviously, I cannot go into detail about all of Lucretia’s life in one sermon, but I hope these highlights have whet your appetite to learn more. I encourage you to utilize our library and check out a book about her. 

For today’s purposes, I think there are several takeaways for us. 

The first is Lucretia’s insatiable curiosity. I know the Sunday before I returned from my sabbatical, Eric Baker gave a wonderful message about our need for curiosity. I find in many circles today curiosity is a more acceptable way to talk about raising questions or admitting doubts, but it is essential to our journey of faith.

A couple of years ago for Christmas, Sue and I bought Beth Henricks some desk items to spruce up her office. One sits on the front of her desk and exclaims, “Ask More Questions.”  I always sense Beth is channeling the spirit of Lucretia Mott because, if you know her, she always loves to ask a bunch of questions. Often, it makes me realize, even feel guilty, that I don’t ask enough questions.

Folks, there is nothing wrong with being curious. It helps us get to what is really going on. It helps us see the real needs, and helps us know how to respond.   

We should be more like Lucretia in this way in our world, today. Her determination to be curious led her to ask some very important questions.  From the who’s it will affect, to the why’s of inequalities, to the how’s of injustices, to the when’s of speaking truth to power.

As well, her questions led her to seek ways to respond. On many occasions while sitting on that Meeting bench in Arch Street Meeting, Lucretia heard the Spirit’s call to action and she rose from that bench and changed her world.

I often wonder, who is sitting amidst our pews here at First Friends that is hearing the Spirit’s call and is obediently ready to respond?

Or for whom will young people come here in 200 years to sit and take a photo where that person heard the Spirit’s call, responded, and changed their world? 

Every week during the Children’s Message, I think there are some curious Lucretia Motts in that bunch.  But I also see the same for the adults.  Each week we all are one step closer to having the courage to speak our truth to power in our own unique ways. 

It is amazing to think that 176 years ago a young feminist Lucretia Mott rose from her Arch Street bench and headed to Seneca Falls for the first Women’s Rights Convention. And for 30 of the next 72 years, her patient, demanding work saw the 19th amendment be ratified and women receive the right to vote in our country. And her legacy continues on, without Lucretia Mott and the other women at Seneca Falls, we would not, this year, have the possibility of a woman of color holding the highest office in this land. Talk about a continued legacy that opened doors and shatters ceilings for decades and generations.  Not saying there is not more work to do, but her call is still being heralded.   

And let’s bring her back to a realistic and human level once more. We must not forget that this trail blazer lost her temper on occasion, raised her voice, she let her passions get the best of her, and that probably made her not as lady-like as the society would dictate in her day. It is clear that the men of the day used this against her. As well, at times she would ramble on and on, until even her fellow Quakers would ask her to be silent. But amid her flaws, her uncontrolled passions, she persisted, she fought, she spoke up, and she did it through genuine love and with authentic support of a diversity of people who called her Friend.  I don’t know about you, but I can relate to this Quaker saint.

And when we continue this legacy, we too may hear her words speaking to us today…

Those who go forth ministering to the wants and necessities of their fellow beings experience a rich return, their souls being as a watered garden, and a spring that faileth not.

If you didn’t notice, she was quoting our scripture for this morning.

Lucretia went forth ministering and she is calling us to follow her. May we all hear the Spirit’s call and Speak our Truth to Power like Lucretia Mott, this day!

As we head into a time of waiting worship, I ask you to ponder the following queries:

1.     How may my curiosity lead to more action? What questions do I need to be asking?

2.     Have I heard a call from the Spirit that I have not responded to? What should I do about it?  And if not, how might I open myself up to hearing that call?

9-8-24 - Speak Truth to Power – The Legacy of Quakers

Speak Truth to Power – The Legacy of Quakers

\Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

September 8, 2024

Good morning, Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections. At the meetinghouse today we are celebrating Kick-Off Sunday.  The scripture I chose for this morning is from John 17:13-19 from the Voice version.

Now I am returning to You. I am speaking this prayer here in the created cosmos alongside friends and foes so that in hearing it they might be consumed with joy. I have given them Your word; and the world has despised them because they are not products of the world, in the same way that I am not a product of the corrupt world order. Do not take them out of this world; protect them from the evil one. Like Me, they are not products of the corrupt world order. Immerse them in the truth, the truth Your voice speaks. In the same way You sent Me into this world, I am sending them. It is entirely for their benefit that I have set Myself apart so that they may be set apart by truth.

Since it is Kick-Off Sunday, as usual, I am kicking off a new sermon series that I have been looking forward to for quite some time. I do hope the previous weeks since I returned from my Sabbatical, where we focused on joy, were beneficial and spoke to your condition. 

For the next couple of months, we will be looking at some famous Quakers and some you may have never heard of.  Each sermon will begin with me telling a bit of their story and then spending the rest of the time talking about how their story is still applicable today or how we may be called to continue their legacy. 

Often, I hear Friends talk about how earlier Quakers laid a foundation of activism, social justice, and seeking Truth. Yet, many outside Quakerism then ask, “What happened? Where is that action today? Have Quakers simply become complacent, comfortable, even lazy?  Or are Quakers still relevant and empowered today to Speak Truth to Power?

As I hope to show you over the next couple of months, Friends are still being called to Speak Truth to Power. This may come in the ordinary aspects of our daily lives, or it may be much bolder and lived out in a much more public manner.  I hope in this series, you will see yourselves in these ordinary people who aren’t that much different than you and me.  They heard the call, spoke up for truth, and changed the world!  And you and I have this potential as well.

To begin this morning, I want to talk about that phrase I have used a couple of times already – Speak Truth to Power – actually, the title of this sermon series.

I first came across it when I was doing research for my doctoral dissertation.  At the conclusion of my first class, I had been encouraged by my professor to study how one prepares for conflict in their life, a subject that I sensed the church universal, and ordinary Christians struggled with on a regular basis.  What I had observed is that most of the time, instead of preparing for conflict that may arise or how to transform it into positive experiences, most of us are simply reactive or get consumed by the conflict and then (after the fact) look for ways to relieve the tensions.

I had written an extensive paper on Gandhi’s influence on Martin Luther King Jr. during the Civil Rights Movement, which was the impetus for this study on preparing for conflict since Gandhi posed a plan that King had begun to utilize.  Unbeknownst to me, I discovered in my study that it was a Quaker who introduced King to Gandhi’s work. Since my dissertation supervisor was a Quaker and I was personally beginning to find my home among Friends, I decided to ask him what he knew of this connection. Instead of just giving me the answer, he encouraged me to read further and make some more associations. 

The most important reading he suggested was one titled, Speak Truth to Power: A Quaker Search for an Alternative to Violence, which did not have a single author, but rather was published by the American Friends Service Committee in 1955.

I quickly immersed myself in this document. What I found was what is considered the most lucid pacifist tract ever penned in the United States (even still today). It raised the basic questions about what people should be, and do, to end war and establish peace – whose principles I quickly realized could be adapted down to our daily conflicts in ordinary life.

H. Larry Engle gives a historical context in his retrospective on the “Speak Truth to Power” pamphlet saying,

Unfortunately for the pamphlet’s immediacy, the Montgomery bus boycott, which gave Martin Luther King. Jr., an opportunity to charge words like love and truth with a new and electric political meaning, was still more than six months in the future. To demonstrate the practicality of nonviolence, “Speak Truth to Power” drew instead on the example of Gandhi’s Indian independence campaign. Emphasizing that each individual had to renounce violence (“for war grows directly from the accumulated prejudices. selfishness, greed and arrogance of individual men”), the authors called on each person to take a committed stand so that “the impossible moves nearer to the possible.”

Not only was this document pivotal for my dissertation it was stirring in me a desire to know who was really behind this work. I had started to put some pieces together, because I had been introduced to a Quaker who was teaching the principles of Gandhi, and he was alive and at his peak of influence when this document was drafted. But strangely his name was nowhere to be found on the document. 

If one simply did a search on the phrase and title, Speak Truth to Power, one would quickly find out that something was up.  I assumed as many have in history that I would find this going back to early Quakerism or even earlier, but the phrase, Speak Truth to Power has been attributed to Quaker civil rights activist Bayard Rustin (the Quaker who influenced Dr. King), who wrote in 1942 that the role of a religious group was to “speak truth to power.” Rustin himself attributed the phrase to a speech he had hear by Patrick Malin, a professor of economics at the Quaker Swarthmore College and head of the ACLU from 1950-1962. But in that talk, he never used that phrase. 

Several decades after the Speak Truth to Power document was written, it was made known that Bayard Rustin was one of the authors, if not the principle author of the document.  Rustin and his co-authors had agreed to expunge Rustin’s name from the document because of his arrest on charges of committing a homosexual act in 1953 (because back then homosexuality was literally a crime). He served 50 days in jail and was registered as a sex offender. (and sadly, this is what some people in our country want us to go back to.) While his sexual orientation resulted in him taking a less public role, it did not stop his groundbreaking work of organizing the March on Washington where Dr. King shared his dream. (If you have not seen the movie Rustin, which we watched at our first Film Night here at First Friends several months ago, go watch it on Netflix).

Finally in September of 2010, a historical note was added by American Friends Service Committee to the Speak Truth to Power document that restored Rustin’s name as the primary author.  It took 55 years for this to fully be recognized and made know. 

It seems almost ironic, that a black, gay man during some of the most difficult times in our country for all that he was, not only coined the phrase but also lived the idea of Speaking Truth to Power daily from the shadows, and all amid his life being threatened, constantly. 

Yet for Rustin speaking his truth to power was, as he said on numerous occasions, because he was a Quaker. Rustin had been taught to respond in this Quaker manner by his dear Quaker grandmother, Julia David Rustin who raised him.

Julia would have taught Bayard that Quakers have always known that the quest for truth has an important role to play in wider society and political life.  When a Quaker speaks truth to power, it means we feel that something important needs to be said, and we must make the effort to say it to the people who need to hear it and have the power to effect change. That is exactly what Rustin did (and you will find this common among ever Quaker we talk about in this series). 

I love the way Quakers in Britian describe this,

“Speaking truth” suggests an external expression of an internally received insight, an outward faithfulness to a spiritually experienced truth. It comes from the heart, from a place of love. Saying it “to power” implies courage to speak that truth to those who may not want to hear it and are in a position to punish you. Faithfulness and courage: speaking truth to power describes an intention of moving the world towards the Realm of God.

That is what Bayard Rustin lived, shared with Dr. King to shape his dream, inspired generations to speak, and calls us as Quakers to recognize as foundational to our faith.

And as always, I find it essential that we do not miss that Jesus in his prayer for each of us (which you heard as part of our scripture for today) said, “Immerse them in the truth, the truth Your voice speaks.”

Folks, when we speak truth to power both individually or as a Meeting – we are tapping into the voice of the Divine within us and making it known where otherwise it may not be heard.  I wonder what Truth the Spirit is nudging us to immerse ourselves in and make our voices heard?   

As you begin to reflect on that, let me leave you with some inspiring words of Bayard Rustin from the conclusion of the “Speak Truth to Power” pamphlet (you can read the entire document on the American Friends Service Committee website (sadly, you may find much of it as relevant today as it was in 1955) – I will post the link on Facebook later today). Listen to what Rustin says for us, this morning (please note, I have changed the word men/man to people to include all),   

The politics of eternity works not by might but by spirit; a Spirit whose redemptive power is released among [people] through suffering endured on behalf of the evildoer, and in obedience to the divine command to love all [people]. Such love is worlds apart from the expedient of loving those who love us, of doing good to those who

have done good to us. It is the essence of such love that it does not require an advance guarantee that it will succeed, will prove easy or cheap, or that it will be met with swift answering love. Whether practiced by [people] or nations, it well may encounter opposition, hate, humiliation, utter defeat. In the familiar words of the epistle, such love suffers long, is always kind, never fails. It is a principle deeply grounded in the years of Quaker sufferings, imprisonments and death. From the dungeons of Lancaster Castle Friends spoke this Truth to Power: "But if ... not ... then shall wee lye downe in the peace of our God and patiently Suffer under you." that overcomes the world.

To act on such a faith, the politics of eternity demand of us, first, repentance. As individuals and as a nation we must literally turn about. We must turn from our self-righteousness and arrogance and confess that we do that which is evil in the sight of the Lord. We must turn from the substitution of material for spiritual values; we must turn not only from our use of mass violence but from what is worse, our readiness to use this violence whenever it suits our purpose, regardless of the pain it inflicts on others. We must turn about.

That does not only speak to our condition still today, it is the call to raise our voices and lives and join Rustin in the legacy of Speaking Truth to Power for the betterment of all. 

Later in this series, we will return to Bayard Rustin again and look at what he meant for us to be Angelic Troublemakers.  Until then, I hope you will take a moment to center down and consider how you Speak Truth to Power. To help you with considering this, here are some queries to ponder.  

1.     What can I do this week to “immerse myself in Truth”?

2.     What Truth am I neglecting to speak to power because of fear of push-back or punishment?

3.     Who am I being called to speak up for, today?

9-1-24 - Allowing Our Assumptions and Judgments to Destroy Our Joy

Allowing Our Assumptions and Judgments to Destroy Our Joy

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

September 4, 2024

Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections. This morning I am concluding my series on joy.  The scripture I have chosen is from  I Corinthians 12:25-26 from The Message version.

“The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.”

When I was in my doctoral program, I had a professor who started his first in-person class by having us listen to three different versions of the Star Bangled Banner.  He started by playing the now infamous version by Roseanne Barr at the San Diego Padres game in 1990, where after singing out-of-tune she closed by grabbing her crotch.  The second version was the famous 1969 Jimmy Hendricks version played solely on his guitar live at Woodstock. Finally, he concluded by playing a very traditional acapella version by Take 6 also from 1990.  Each rendition was unique and clearly prompted different responses. 

Yet, it was clear, the professor had made some assumptions and judgements about our class and what we would find the most moving out of the three.  He thought sharing these three versions in this order would move us to find the last version the most satisfying, patriotic, and overall appealing. This was his opinion. Even while he played the last version, he did not show a poker face but instead clearly identified it as his choice. 

As he moved to teaching about our experience, he shared an assumption that he had expected to be true.  He stated and asked, “I bet you liked the last one the best, why is that?”  Being a generation younger than most of the people in my class, I watched as all the Boomers in the room, to his surprise, spoke out vehemently that they disagreed. The tension in the room rose quickly. In his shock he began to push back a bit, but quickly was backed into a corner by most of the room.

As expected, no one really liked the Roseanne Barr version, but the Jimmy Hendrix version brought about a much different discussion than the professor expected.  What he did not understand was there was more behind this song than just a really good guitar player. The professor’s assumptions and judgements were exposed as the Boomers in the room shared how this version somewhat defined their generation. They shared how it spoke to an era of activism, protest, and communal Christianity.  There were deep emotions shared and some even shed tears. It was clear our professor did not know his audience.

One person in our class had a son who was an accomplished guitar player, and he shared that the artistry in the Hendrix version for those in the guitar world is a standard; that Hendrix’s version is difficult to replicate for most good guitarists.

Clearly the room of about 30 students was beginning to expose the professor’s opinions and judgments and sadly, he did not handle it well. The joy of listening to these various songs soon slipped out the door, the smile evaporated from our professor’s face, and hurt feelings even anger emerged, all due to the professor’s lack of awareness. 

Finally, one of my friends in my cohort, who is a Boomer and very activist oriented, finally called our professor out and said, “You expected us all to think the Take 6 version was the one we would most gravitate towards because that is the one you like, but you clearly did not read your class.” 

And after a bit more push back he finally admitted that he had made assumptions and judgements about what we would think.  Because of this, most found this opening experience completely tainting the rest of the class, and our professor lost the respect of most of us students. Sadly, he never recovered from that moment in the class.

This may be the best example I have ever seen of how our assumptions and judgments of others can quickly steal our joy and leave us at odds with one another. 

To begin the teaching portion of my message this morning, let’s take a moment to explore what judgements and assumptions actually are.

According to a quick search on Google, an assumption is:

“a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof” or “the action of taking on power or responsibility.”

And a judgment is:

“an opinion or conclusion”.

Let’s start by focusing on “accepting something as true without proof”.

When we assume, we’re usually making judgments based off our own beliefs and experiences, NOT anything factual.

For example, when our oldest child was in grade school, their teachers had made an assumption about the length of their hair and their ability to learn. Year after year, we went to parent-teacher conferences where the focus was weirdly on the need to cut or child’s hair, how it was distracting them, and keeping them from learning.  We even found that they were removed from class on occasion and put in the hall, as if their having longer hair, would rub off on the other children.

Honestly, it was infuriating because as educated people we knew there was no proof that the length of one’s hair caused one to struggle academically. This was simply an outdated opinion of some conservative Christians that men should not have long hair.  And sadly, in this parochial school, instead of aware teachers helping to address our child’s ADHD, anxiety, or the need for a more conducive workspace to stay focused, the teachers were blinded by their opinions and simply wanted to blame it on our child’s long hair and their unwillingness to conform.  

Looking back now, it frustrates me that those teachers accepted as truth something that has no proof or bearing on our child’s academics. If they could have overcome their biases and opinions and just accepted their hair, and actually been aware of their neurodiversity, our child may have thrived instead of being put down and separated for their personal grooming choices.  

And just replace hair in this situation with tattoos, piercings, colored hair, or a plethora of other things and you quickly see how often this happens in our society and world.

Even though that happened in a religious parochial school, the same too often happens within the church. It makes me sick the stories I have heard from many of you.  While I was growing up, the church told us we needed to give our best to God and that means we need to dress up for church.  No jeans, no shorts, but rather button shirts with ties (even sports coats) for men, dresses and pantyhose for women. You know, just how Jesus walked around Nazareth and Jerusalem with his leather bound KJV Study Bible under his arm.  

I observed as a child people in the pews judging their fellow church attenders as they went up for communion because of the way they were dressed - not knowing those people’s financial situation or the struggles in their families. The irony of a table of welcome that people were being judged for partaking in. Folks, dressing up for church was an opinion and often a judgment, it wasn’t biblical or even doctrinal.   

In my last meeting, I had a man who pulled me aside one Sunday and said, “I want to thank you for not being one of those pastors who wears a suit and a tie. That was one of the biggest reasons I stayed for worship, today.”

I wanted to understand more, so I asked if we could sit for a moment, and I could hear more about this. He then through tears shared the abuse he endured in the church he was raised in by what he labeled the “men in suits” at his church. Their suits became the symbol of power, abuse and conclusions that could not be questioned. He never thought church could be a safe place again until walking into our Quaker Meeting in Oregon.

Folks, our judgements and opinions can create a lapse in empathy and perspective and not just steal our joy, but leave us and our neighbors hurting and struggling to thrive.  

One of the places this has become greatly distorted is in our media and it is not just influencing a younger generation, it is actually affecting all of us on a daily basis.

No matter if it is social media sites, news networks, or the newspapers we read in print or on our iPads, they all like to put certain people on pedestals, while punishing others for being imperfect.

Take for example, a celebrity can do the vilest thing, but if they’re pretty, popular, have a lot of money, or are the right race or gender, they can get a pass.  And people will willingly spin the truth to help others accept their behavior without taking responsibility. 

Yet when someone who’s not in the public eye makes a minor infraction, they often end up plastered all over social media or the talk of the neighborhood gossip group and are shamed and slandered for being an awful human being.  

And let’s really get honest, we’ve gotten accustomed to adding our own opinions to things that have absolutely nothing to do with us. So much so that we often don’t stop to consider the perspective of the person we’re projecting judgment onto. 

I am just as guilty as anyone on this, but the more I study this and experience this, the more I want to part ways with what we call gossip, judgment, assumptions, and opinions, and we should rather name it for what it actually is - ABUSE.

Have we ever considered, the person we spewed our opinions and judgements about, what might their day have been like prior to the incident that made us feel we needed to share?

What is their backstory? Do we care about their backstory?  

What is going on in their life that they made this mistake, this infraction, this poor decision in our eyes? 

Was their intention actually what media alluded to, what I thought, or someone told me, or was the footage or my thoughts exaggerated in order to generate views or keep me looking good? 

The collective response has sadly become to attack and assume negative intent, rather than to pause and try to see both perspectives.  The more we do this, the easier it becomes for us to condemn versus building stronger connections with our neighbors.

Something that has been said a lot lately has been that a “harm against any one of us, is a harm against all of us.”  Some may be quick to say this is political rhetoric, but actually you heard almost those same words in the scriptures for this morning. 

“If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance (or as we have been saying, joy!)”

Ponder with me for a moment.

What if instead of partaking in making assumptions, judging, gossiping, assuming and condemning, we stopped and asked our neighbor how they are doing?  What they need? Why they are struggling? Do they need support or help?

And like I said last week, really listen to what they have to say.  Instead of putting words in other people’s mouths, we must allow their words to be theirs and most importantly to be heard. 

Most of the time when you and I do the opposite of these things we fill in the blanks for others or make assumptions or judgments from our own experiences.

Folks, my experience is much different than your experience and I may have completely different ideas of what is going on because of my life experiences.  And that may not be fair to my neighbor if I assume I understand.

As well, there is nothing worse than overhearing someone tell another person how they think you feel or why you are in the situation you are in.  Like I said last week – not only are you responsible for your own change, but you are also responsible for speaking your own truth. 

Just maybe we have gotten to the point in our society when the threat of knowing our neighbors has escalated to the point of us thinking it is easier to assume we know what others think and believe and not waste the time to get to know them. 

And if that is the case, we are in deep trouble because relationships are key to our survival. We need each other.

With loneliness and isolation on the rise, and the elderly being left and forgotten in nursing homes, with youth feeling they have no one in their life because social media has them guessing, with neighborhoods becoming prisons of HOAs and like-minded people, with gentrification making people of color homeless and displaced, with counselors and therapists with waiting lines up to 4 months, we have a lot of hurting people, folks. 

And so “If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance (or joy!)”

So, who TODAY do we need to reach out to without our assumptions, judgments, or opinions and seek to hear THEIR truth, THEIR backstory, and where are we walking with them so they may flourish and find some needed exuberance and joy?  Let that be our query for today.   

8-25-24 - When Being Right Replaces Our Joy

When Being Right Replaces Our Joy  

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

August 25, 2024

Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections.  This morning our scripture passage is from Matthew 5:20 from the New Revised Standard Version.

For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

I am friends on Facebook with a fellow classmate from my undergrad days.  We have taken quite different spiritual paths since college.  One path that was similar was that we both became pastors.  How I remember this classmate was that he was intelligent, most of the time kind, had quite a few friends, and was wanting to honestly grow in his faith. 

After college, we did not keep up with each other.  The next time I ran across him was on Facebook a few years ago.  It was there I saw a much different person than I remember back in college. What surprised me was that he had aged more than expected. Actually, he did not look well, or maybe better, he did not look happy or seem to have any joy. More than anything, he had become obsessed with needing to be right. 

Whether he was defending his faith or justifying why someone shouldn’t be mad at him for his beliefs, he clearly wanted to win any debate that seemed to challenge or threaten his understanding of faith. 

What I realized was that his faith had become all about being right – and it had clearly become his end goal. To control his perspectives, he started a YouTube Channel where he makes amateur videos about his “right” positions.  Sadly, very little joy (other than the occasional sarcastic remark accompanied by a laugh) is conveyed.  I cannot even watch these videos or listen to his banter because it all seems to be about feeding his identity of being right. 

He talks about the need for conversations, but the only conversations he has is one-way.  Sometimes in the comments, he wrestles with making his point and often people comment that he is an inflexible guy who lacks compassion.

But what is maybe the saddest is he seems willing to fracture relationships or simply ignore other’s views to maintain his “rightness.”   

In the world we live in today, I am sure you too have a fellow classmate, friend, relative, spouse, sibling, child, parent, maybe even, YOU have a similar idea of being right at all costs. 

I know I was being taught and indoctrinated for a long time in this mindset within the church and the parochial schools I attended in my formative years.  And there was a time when I thought I had to fight hard to be right for my faith, my politics, my educational understandings. I was of the mindset it was us vs. them in many areas of my life.  

But over time, I would find that winning the short-term battle of being right often led to suffering the unintended consequences of my rightness.    

Folks, please understand being right is not inherently bad (clearly, I believe there are rights and wrongs), but we must acknowledge that being right at all costs can have unintended consequences – and one of those is losing our joy.  It reminds me of the poem Being Right by Phil Soar.

The cost of being right sometimes
can make you look aloof
you make it seem you know it all
without a hint of truth
and though you're not big headed
someone could say that you
are someone who should be aware
of what you say and do

If we aren’t aware of this reality, we might end up as the winner standing on the top alone, lacking joy, with a lot of hurt and resentful friends, colleagues, and family.  

Sadly, most of us over the last several years have faced this in our lives in some way.  You have shared with me how this mentality has hurt relationships, torn apart families, and left us not just polarized but losing the joy of living life together.

Writer Calvin Rosser helped me put some perspective on this. He says,

There is a fine line between being a compassionate truth seeker who wants the best outcome for everyone and being an ego-driven maniac blinded by your own perception of reality.

Let me repeat this:

There is a fine line between being a compassionate truth seeker who wants the best outcome for everyone and being an ego-driven maniac blinded by your own perception of reality.

Just like last week talking about competition, being right is also about our personal awareness and attitude toward our neighbor and especially those who may have different views or beliefs on what they think is right. 

This is where we need to differentiate being right from what the scriptures call righteousness.  This often gets confused.  I believe what scripture says is that God wants us to be righteous, NOT right.

Being righteous means willingly following Jesus’ teachings and example, where he has instructed us to love God and to love one another.

Yes, right knowledge can be helpful to our journey of faith, but a loving and generous heart is much more important – which also better describes being righteous.  

During Jesus' time on Earth, the chief priests, scribes, and Pharisees were all very learned about the Hebrew Bible and God's law, and yet they were unrighteous in their opposition of Jesus.  This is why Jesus says in our scripture for today, “unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

The Pharisees and Scribes did not help anyone but simply sought to raise themselves above the populace by being "right" at all costs. All too often, believing that we must be right at all costs gives us a feeling of self-righteousness that is in serious opposition to true righteousness.

Now folks, we must admit, from very early on being right is how most of us have been raised.  In school, being right is rewarded. As one who is married to a teacher, I know that being right is what makes our teachers like us as we grow up. Being right is what proves that we’re smarter than the person next to us. It gets us the degree, lands us the job, and helps us be successful.

But here’s the problem, it is not just being right, but the desire to be right at all costs which blinds us and steals our joy.  Rosser says,

When we need to be right:

·         We don’t realize that the arguments with our partners/friends/colleagues/neighbors isn’t about facts. It’s about someone feeling hurt. If we respond to that hurt with rational arguments that prove our point, nothing gets solved. Instead, resentment builds.

Also, when we need to be right:

·         We surround ourselves with people who have similar worldviews (I have talked about this before). Instead of confronting the discomfort of people who have different views and who might teach us something, we stay in self-imposed echo chambers of like-minded people. This approach is comfortable, but it is very limiting.

Folks, the drive to be right at all costs is blinding. If we don’t pay attention, it can lead to broken relationships, non-diverse friend groups, even terrible decisions – and all those lead to less joy in our lives and often what we label self-righteousness.

Being right isn’t worth these costs. 

So, what can we do?

Before I give some take aways, I want to clarify that we are probably not going to change other people who think being right at all costs is the most important thing.  The only person we can change is ourselves. That is why Jesus called us to a life of righteousness that sees and is aware. 

So, let me challenge you with a couple things this week. Calvin Rosser helped me with some of these suggestions:

For the next week, pay attention to how the desire to be right manifests in your life. When you see it happening, take a pause. Really think about whether or not being right is the right thing to do.

If someone says something that you don’t believe, or if a family member starts supporting a political position or religious doctrine you disagree with, just take some time to listen and try to understand where they are coming from, first. Don’t try to come up with counterarguments. Don’t try to prove your point.

Just listen.

This will be a subtle, but significant shift. We can have better conversations when we first take time to listen. 

Folks, I am not saying that it means that you tolerate false claims or drop your convictions, but it does mean that you don’t tie your self-worth and ego to being right at all costs.

When we do this, we make room for our neighbors, and we remove ourselves from ugly behavior and joylessness that comes with needing to be right.

And when you make this shift, you might just see a few wonderful things begin to happen.

We’ll be more open to new ideas.

We’ll be more curious about why people believe what they believe.

We’ll be less blind to our many biases.

We’ll develop healthier relationships.

We’ll communicate more effectively.   

And most importantly, we’ll be able to enjoy more of what our neighbors and our world has to offer.

So, as we enter waiting worship this morning, take a moment to ponder the following queries:

1.     How does the desire to be right manifest itself in my life?

2.     With whom do I need to work on my listening skills?

3.     How will I embrace righteousness and not just rightness this week?

8-18-24 - Competing for Joy

Competing for Joy

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

August 18, 2024

Good morning, Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections. Today, we continue our focus on joy, but how competition often gets in the way.  Our scriptures for this morning are from Philippians 2:3-4 from the New Revised Standard Version.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or empty conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests but to the interests of others.

I must admit, on Monday night when I turned on the T.V. I was a bit disappointed that there was no Olympics to watch.  One of the news channels on Monday morning was showing some nostalgic moments in Olympic history, because I think people were waking up to an Olympic hangover.  As I was watching the moments from past Olympics, I had my own nostalgic moment come to mind. 

What I remembered was hearing the voice of Jim McKay, every Saturday after watching the morning cartoons, introduce ABC’s The Wide World of Sports. Anyone remember this? Sorry Millennials, this was before your time, but you can Google it!  

Until I looked it up this week, I didn’t realize that those words Jim McKay said did not change for 32 years. I can’t even image an intro not changing for that long on T.V., today. We change at least every season, now.  Those words were being said for a decade before I was even born and then used my entire childhood. Some of you probably remember them.

Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sports:

The thrill of victory

And the agony of defeat. 

The human drama of athletic competition.

This is ABC’s Wide World of Sports.

And when hearing those words, what image runs through one’s mind but Yugoslavian skier, Victor Bogotaj devastatingly crashing on the ski jump as Jim McKay says, “and the agony of defeat.”

Did you know that Victor took that fall in 1970 in the World Ski Flying competition and in 1978 when I was watching cartoons, he was still falling every Saturday for almost a decade.  Later they would rename it “the agony of repeat!”

Today, that intro might include clips of the Australian Break-dancer or the French Pole Vaulter who both went viral for “failing.”

Some historians say the Wild World of Sports alone was one of the things that heightened and changed the competitive sports culture in our world.  Those four lines said by Jim McKay were like a prophetic verse spoken into the soul of America and became a mantra for our daily living.  Today, the drama of athletic competition has grown to an insane level. 

We all remember Tanya Harding or Lance Armstrong, who allowed the competition to take them to an ugly place to win at all costs.  But sadly, this competition has become all-encompassing and even what influences or guides our daily actions. In Indiana competitive sports dictate everything from when children attend school, so they are optimal size in high school for sports. To the schedules of our school day and bus systems to make sure sports teams have plenty of time for practice. The biggest paychecks in Indiana go to college football and basketball coaches instead of teachers.

A couple weeks ago, Janis Crawford reposted something on Facebook that caught my attention.  It was a post from the College Basketball Report that showed out of the 35 largest high school gymnasiums in our country – 27 of them were in Indiana.  Most of us in this room live within miles of several of them.

In my own town, currently, we are building two major sporting entertainment complexes and bringing more competitive sports to our area.  As well, we are seeing competitive gambling on a rise, private sports leagues for children to be groomed into top athletes at a price, and I could go on…

But that competition that sports has brought into our culture, has begun to be translated into other areas. Now, children and adults are competing for likes on Facebook, TikTok, and other social media platforms. We are competing over best experiences, best restaurants, best dance routines, best politics, best crowd participation, best baking, you name it, if we can do it, we can now make it a competition. 

I might go as far as to say, competition (of all types) has become our new religion, and it has a lot of followers.

And sadly, it is when competition gets to this level of obsession that we see it begin to steal our joy.  Competition can have us not only becoming myopic, but also willing to do whatever it takes to win. And when this happens, we become more selfish and less caring for those around us. We also start to utilize “us vs them” categorization in describing just about anything, but especially our faith and beliefs.

At its extreme, it is what keeps us at war globally, as well as personally, and ultimately leaves us and our neighbors hurting or dying. It is a lead cause is why cheating and lying rates are rising in schools, colleges, and relationships. And it continues to create a constant urgency in our lives that we will not be able to keep up with. It is us vs. them, my beliefs vs yours, my politics vs yours…our country vs. yours…I think you get what I am saying.

As I was doing research this week, I came across someone who said,

Ask any normal person to sketch their dream getaway from normal, everyday life, and they will paint an ideal life that is stress-free and non-competitive.

I can relate to this, since I was just on a sabbatical where I got away from normal, everyday life – and no it was not stress-free (especially since we had an accident), but it was intentionally non-competitive which almost seemed more freeing than anything else. It is amazing how competitive we are and do not even realize its impact on us – yes, even in the church.    

Most psychiatrists believe that humans are innately competitive, but that competitiveness at times can be utilized for good or bad.   

Whether in school, at work, or in life, we have always been told that to win is to stand at the very top – to be the right, and the best. Please understand, I believe competition is inevitable. But does competing to only be the best or right ultimately bring us real joy?

Dr. Reza Abraham in an article titled, “Competition and Happiness” wrote the following, which I believe helps define and clarify how competition affects us;

A lot of time, how a person takes competition depends on the biological and social changes they have experienced growing up. It is this very desire to stand out from the crowd that propels us to go above and beyond what we are capable of. However, one has to keep their intention for competition in check. It is easy to feel unfulfilled and lacking when competition is heading in the wrong direction…

…You know the competition is heading towards a toxic path when you demand perfection, with no tolerance for anything that seconds it. You start feeling down, and you might even blame yourself for not being able to achieve what you wanted to. Instead of acknowledging the fact that you have grown a little stronger, or gotten a little faster than YOU in the past, your focus is solely on how much better your competitor is performing.  

The unhealthy competition also results in lowered self-esteem. Competition can be helpful in character-building, especially when one is able to perform well despite being put under pressure. However, when expectations and standards are not met, and there is no recognition received, it could lead to a sense of anxiety and insecurity about oneself. That is when one could either give up on pursuing what they had wanted for themselves or develop a false sense of what "perfection" should be.

On the other hand, good competition will push the parties involved to evolve and get better. A competitive environment is perfect for developing one’s skill set because it pushes them to constantly perform their best, which is commonly known as the Growth Mindset. Someone who is a sporting competitor is someone who wishes to succeed but will also celebrate the victory of his opponent.

Let me stop on that last line.  Is that what we are teaching our children and ourselves for that matter? Is that what we have seen in our politics?  Is that how it is in your business place, family, even religious community?   A balance of wishing to succeed but also celebrating with our opponent.

I loved that moment in the Olympics when Simone Biles and Jordan Chiles bowed down to Rebeca Andrade of Brazil. Even though Simone was expected to win the gold and Jordan was not even expected to even medal, it was a moment of both sportsmanship and competition at its best – and that moment went viral. Yet those moments are rare and a surprise when they happen.

Today, when our sports team loses a big event, we want to call in to work sick the next day. There are statistics that show that this is the case. When we don’t get enough likes on social media, we get depressed and think no one likes us. This is one of the leading causes of depression and anxiety in our youth.  

I had a friend in Oregon stop by my office one afternoon to talk to me.  He said he was embarrassed but needed some accountability.  He explained, “I have become addicted to competing on Facebook for likes.”  It kind of shocked me at first, but as I listened, he told me how bad it had become. 

At a long stop light, he decided to post something on Facebook that had come to him while driving which he thought was profound.  As he was driving to the next town, there were very few stops or lights. The winding road made it to so there could be no safe stops on the side of the road. He became so concerned about what people might say and how many would like his post that he ended up pulling off the road to check his Facebook.  He said, “I put my life in danger to see if I had received a “like,” what is wrong with me. I need help.” 

Now, imagine that what my friend experienced was everyday life. Because, that is how it is for most youth on social media, today.  It is an unhealthy competition that has created the lowest self-esteem and the highest rates of anxiety and insecurity.  And it is not just out children, we have adults obsessed with getting “likes” as well.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there is such a thing as healthy competition. Dr. Abraham says,

Healthy competition encourages collaboration and cooperation. In an age where the use of social media is growing exponentially, human beings spend a considerable amount of time on their own instead of with others. Competition provides feedback that we can evaluate in terms of behavioral, psychological, social, and economic outcomes, and can provide a rich learning environment for people to express and develop physical skills and personal attributes.

This may be one of the reasons why pickleball has become so popular among those in their later life. Not only do they benefit from the exercise, but also from the relationships they build.  When it is not all about winning, the friendly competition can develop important life-giving aspects.  A friend of mine who plays pickleball told me recently, “It has opened me up to seeing people differently and playing a sport not just to win.”

Thinking about all of this, and trying to put it into perspective, I turn to James Bradley a Quaker youth and high school freshmen who reflected on his competitive nature in Friends Journal. I believe he says it so well,

A lot of Quakers would argue that the necessity of having a winner, and thus a loser, is in direct conflict with the testimony of equality. They may think that having a winner means that the loser is not equal and that having no winner at all would solve this problem. I believe that this is simply not what the testimony of equality means in a competition. I believe that as a Quaker it is my responsibility to represent my beliefs in my actions during games or debates, not in the results alone. As an athlete I feel obligated to treat my opponents with respect and to carry myself with integrity before, during, and after games. I cannot control the inevitability of a winner, but I can control my own actions and choices; those are my responsibilities not only as an athlete, but as a member of the Religious Society of Friends.

James nails it on the head. As Quakers it is OUR responsibility to be aware of how competition affects us and how it can consume our lives and steal our joy. We can still compete and enjoy competitions, but there is a limit that we must know.

Even Jesus said, the first shall be last, and the last shall be first. And in some respects, that a pretty clear statement – if you are at the front, don’t assume you always will be, and if you are at the bottom, don’t assume you always will be.

We need to be aware when we have become obsessed by competition or pushing that unhealthy competition on our children or friends.  It must become about more than the results, about treating our opponents with respect while working to carry ourselves with integrity throughout.

It is as Brian McLaren says,

“Not us vs. them, not us apart from them, not us over them, but us and them called by the Spirit of justice, joy, and peace into a bigger, better, kinder, more robust us.” 

Folks, competition is a huge subject, and I have just skimmed the surface, but this is where we need to take some time and consider where our personal desires for competition is getting in the way of our joy.  Let’s do that this week, by considering some important queries:

1.    In what ways do I allow unhealthy competition to steal my joy? What actions or choices could I make to change this?

2.    Who do I know who is struggling with competition that I may need to reach out to?

3.    How am I being influenced by the competitive culture in my world?

8-11-24 - Holy Play

Holy Play

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

August 11, 2024

Good morning, Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections.  Today, at the Meetinghouse we are having Sunday Funday!  Every year, I like to start my message on Funday Sunday by giving a little history of this special worship time. Funday Sunday came about when our youth affirmation class brought a request to our Monthly Business Meeting almost 6 years ago, now.

Their request was for a time to worship through play. That means bouncy houses, slip n’ slides, all types of board and outdoor games, and lots of yummy food! If you have experienced one of our earlier events, it is a lot of fun.

And this is not the only Meeting in which I have celebrated Sunday Funday. In Oregon our Meeting also celebrated Sunday Funday in this same manner. I think it may have been our two youngest boys who shared this with the other youth here to bring it to First Friends. However it happened, I am so glad it did. 

This morning, instead of a longer message, I just want to devotionally have us consider what it means to experience worship through play.  A topic that seems to fit well within what we have been talking about regarding joy. 

Our guiding scripture text is a familiar one from Galatians 5:22-23:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

To begin this message, I want to share with you something that I have read before on Sunday Funday to help people understand the importance of play in our lives and worship.

It comes from White Plains United Methodist Church.  It is titled, “The Spiritual Discipline of Holy Play.” 

When you think of spiritual disciplines what pops into your mind?

Tithing? Fasting? Solitude, Prayer, Study?

Ever think of play or playing being a spiritual discipline?

It’s not the first one that comes to mind, if ever. But according to Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat (who I highly recommend their book, Spiritual Literacy: Reading the Sacred in Everyday Life),

“Play is the exuberant expression of our being. It is at the heart of our creativity… It helps us live with absurdity, paradox, and mystery. It feeds our joy and wonder.”

“Exuberant expression of our being”, huh?

What does exuberant mean?

According to Merriman-Webster, exuberant means “joyously unrestrained and enthusiastic”.

When’s the last time you were joyously unrestrained?  (Be honest – that may be hard for some of us staunch or stalwart Quakers.)

And play “feeds our joy and wonder.”

How do you feed joy and wonder? (that is a good query to consider this morning and ongoing).

Have you ever watched a toddler discover something new to them - A butterfly. A lightning bug. A shiny stone. That’s how one feeds joy and wonder. It’s through curiosity.  We adults do the same, but for us it may be a book, a musical instrument, a new pair of shoes, a flower in a garden, the engine in a classic car…I think you get my drift.

Oh, and joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Paul lists it right there in Galatians 5:22-23 (our text for today) –right there between love and peace.

And how do we get more joy?

BY PLAYING!

And not just playing alone, but as I spoke of last week by playing with one another.

We need to be honest; Christians have had an unbalanced relationship with play throughout the centuries. The concept of a Protestant work ethic has been a boon to the economy, but it often has come at the expense of leisure time and play.  We do not know how to rest well or play well. We talk about it a lot with our kids, but we adults are just as bad.  We get too serious and hunkered down in our work and careers and neglect finding time for play. 

Throughout history, the church has expressed skepticism about the benefits of entertainment, including movies, music, and games. There was a time when the church boycotted movies, broke vinyl records, and burned books to keep one pure – oh wait…some still do. But entertainment–movies, music, games–can also lead to joy, play, and even laughing – and I believe they can move us deeply, giving us a spiritual experience.  

As I mentioned in As Way Opens this week, I have found a lot of joy in watching the Paris Olympics (anyone else?). The importance of family and community in the lives of the athletes is so evident.  The joy on the faces of the athletes, their families, and supporting communities has been contagious.

I love what St. Francis said,

“It is not fitting, when one is in God’s service, to have a gloomy face or a chilling look.”

Sounds like St. Francis thinks we’re to go around with some smiles and some laughs and some joy. And we smile and laugh and get filled with joy when we play, have fun, and yes, even worship, together.

Play can be holy when it brings us together in community, when it lightens the burdens of our spirits and when it helps us to produce joy.  One of the things I love at First Friends is how many smiles I see each Sunday as people simply interact with each other.

The struggle is that we often take ourselves and even the Divine too seriously, forgetting to smile, laugh, even enjoy our relationships.

Also, we must remember that…

…we can experience joy even in the mundane. We can find joy in thousands of different ways…We just have to look for the joy and then actually engage it.

Victor Shamas (author of The Way of Play: Reclaiming Divine Fun and Celebration) writes,

“Play is a sacred act. When we are playing, the essence of all creation flows freely through us. We are expressing our true nature and connecting with the very core of our existence. There is nothing more spiritual than that.”

This is why our youth saw Funday Sunday as a time to worship through play – it is sacred. 

We, also, must admit our Creator God has a sense of humor. Just look at the world around us. Giraffes and duckbill platypuses and hammerhead sharks and all those weird fungi growing in the woods, and then there are people – you and me.

My goodness, people are funny. Some of you right here are really funny and I so appreciate that. I know I need people around me that both want to laugh and make me laugh. 

It is one of the things I love deeply about my wife, Sue, she makes me laugh at the depths of my being.  When we were traveling for Sue’s creativity fellowship this Summer, we laughed so hard at times I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

And folks, that was probably because we saw our time away as a time to play together. We dedicated an entire month to unplug and play and it brought us real joy!  We didn’t have to look that far for the joy, it was available in everything we did – from driving, to hiking, to eating, to singing out loud, to watching a sunset, to spending time with old friends. Joy and play were readily available if we were willing to see and engage them.     

If we try to incorporate holy play into our everyday lives, we may find a sense of wonder and joy even in the ordinary, along with a reminder to laugh at ourselves, to not take ourselves too seriously.  We may even be energized to deal with challenges and difficult conversations that would have overwhelmed us otherwise.

Particularly in these times where there is a lot of anger, frustration, fear, and divisiveness all around us, we need to look for the joy, we need to, as we do with our kids, tell ourselves to turn off the T.V. and social media and go outside and play with a friend.  Go to a movie, go to a concert, play some pickleball, share jokes with a friend, play a board game with friends, go to a sing-a-long, go on a road trip to a new place, get out of your house and play! 

So, that is how I will close this devotional thought this morning.  Take a moment to review that query:

How do you feed joy and wonder?

Then, turn off the t.v. and social media and go outside and play with a friend. I have a feeling it will be good for your soul! 

8-4-24 - The Communal Joy that Heals Our Soul

The Communal Joy that Heals Our Soul

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

August 4, 2024

Good morning Friends and welcome to Light Reflections.  Today, we are coming from my backyard due to the parking lot resurfacing at the Meetinghouse this week.  This week the scripture I have chosen is from Philemon 1:7 from the Contemporary English Version and summarizes well what I am going to talk about this morning.

My friend, your love has made me happy and has greatly encouraged me. It has also cheered the hearts of God's people.

So, the last couple of weeks as I have talked about joy, I have focused on first the things that steal our joy, and last week the positive effects of joy on our lives. Please understand, this is a huge topic and has many facets, so each week we explore another layer. One thing I have not talked about is what to do with suffering, struggle, sadness, depression or simply difficult times.   

I wish there was a simple formula or steps for one to follow, but that is almost never the case. The reality is that everyone has found themselves lost in hard times and struggling on various levels to restore their joy.   

I am sure if you took a moment to consider the times when you were struggling to find joy, you could easily recall the feelings, and even tell me what it took to return your joy.  But there are some of us in this room this morning, who are struggling right now, maybe lost in trying to find that joy, and wanting some help or guidance.  I am not planning to give specific answers, but more of a communal response.

As I was preparing for this message, I took some time to read not only the experiences of others, but also to sit with my own understanding and struggle to find joy at times in my life.   

At different times, I personally have struggled to find joy. Sometimes the struggle has been because of my environment, sometimes other people, and sometimes my own mind.  We all must admit, life, people, families, careers, politics, social media, and so much more, can not only steal our joy, but can leave us empty, drained, and not knowing, on our own, how to find joy once again. 

Before we get too far into this, please note, I am a pastor, not a psychiatrist, and some of our depression and struggles need professional therapy and at times even medication. And that is alright. If you are struggling in a manner that is beyond what I am talking about today, please take the time to seek some help or ask Beth or I for a referral. We have a list of counselors/therapists we can recommend. 

This week, I would like to start briefly with Jesus.  As I have mentioned the last couple of weeks, scripture is clear that Jesus came that we might have joy and that following his teachings we might experience a fuller joy in this life. 

Yet many in our world today, have somehow identified Jesus and his teachings with the religious systems and organizations that have formed around the various interpretations of his teachings. And through various lenses those teaching have morphed and been turned into oppressive rules, doctrines, or statements of faith in which people are not just to follow but literally defend with their lives.

This in turn has transformed the joy of Jesus’ words and life into trying to live up to and perform endless duties that keep one out of a place called hell. When in reality, it has created somewhat of a hell, instead.

All this to say, Jesus has often been highjacked by the various different religious views we have today.  And let’s be honest, some of those who call themselves Christian are far from the teachings of the Jesus they say they follow.  It is almost as if they no longer know what he said or lived.  And this could be a catalyst for some of the suffering we see in our world. John Pavlovitz described it this way,

You see, over the past few decades, these people have become experts at slapping a shiny veneer of religion onto the most abominable of ideas and the most sociopathic of behaviors.
They know they can weaponize the rather generic idea of “God”, manufacturing a deity in their own bloodthirsty, morally-inverted, predatory image: a vengeful, joyless, avatar.
They can wield a few random, poorly-exegeted obscure scripture passages like a hammer in order to justify their every phobia and hangup, making frequent mention of a Bible they’ve torn a majority of the later pages from.
They can brazenly conflate Christianity and America and give life to the grotesque, Frankensteined violent nationalism they daily traffic in as if it were sacred, and they will find a small army of devoted disciples willing to suspend disbelief so they can ratify their hatred.

Folks, that right there produces an enormous amount of suffering and struggle and it is NOT the Christianity that Christ, the Bible, and especially Quakers proclaim.

As my faith has matured and spiritually formed over the years, I have come to find the Quaker-Christianity I profess to not be based on fear, or rules, or the avoidance of (or for that matter the belief) in hell, or any of those descriptors that John Pavlovitz describes, but more about learning how to enjoy the world and the people we live with, right now – the Spirit of the Present Moment as I spoke about last week.  Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality, Sustainability (our S.P.I.C.E.S.) are much different and produce much more joy than these other views.

As I hear more and more of your spiritual journeys and what brought many of  you among us at First Friends, I am both concerned for the greater church and also concerned for First Friends - that we will continue to grow into more of what Christ had in mind. Instead of what much of the church, especially in America has embraced and sadly morphed into.

Now, I would be remiss if I thought Quakerism or Christ’s message was solely about enjoying life. That might be a daily challenge, but our faith should not ignore the real problems that you and I face in this world. Even Jesus often emphasized joy amid great suffering. Jesus as he goes to the cross to be executed by people who had turned their religion into rules and could not see the joy in front of them, tells his disciples, “There’s joy, right here, right now” amid very challenging times. And I think I am starting to understand how he could see that. 

You see, Jesus modeled a unique attitude of joy – a joy that could be cultivated and developed no matter the circumstances of life. And what may surprise you is that it took more than Jesus alone to foster it.

The query for us this morning is how can we cultivate that joy in our lives? Amid our difficulties, amid our pain, amid our confusion, amid you and I simply having a bad day?

To help us begin to process this query, I want to start with a man, that some of us probably already know, Howard Thurman.  His association with Quakers began when he read Rufus Jones’s book Finding the Trail of Life back in 1927. After reading it, he sought out Jones to learn from and study with. Howard Thurman was also known as a mystic, non-violent activist, and had a kind of well-known student named, Martin Luther King Jr.    

What you may not know is that Thurman was both a student of Christianity and Buddhism and believed that suffering is a natural part of life, yet that it does not have to define our lives. He would state that we can find joy amid our pain and suffering, but it will take more than ourselves.

Thurman was a big advocate for community, what his student, Dr. King, would later label, The Beloved Community. Thurman claimed that what would make suffering intolerable was if we suffered alone. Yet, none of us if we really examined ourselves would find that we suffer in isolation.

Howard believed that not only Jesus suffers with us, but he suffers with us through our community. This makes sense as Quakers.  When we say there is that of God in our neighbor, God/Jesus/the Divine is suffering with us through our neighbors or community.  This is why Thurman was always pointing out the need for us to have community in our lives.  He believed it to be the way of Jesus and the way of healing for our pain and struggles in this world.  This became so central in Dr. King’s work that he described this community this way:

The Beloved Community is a realistic vision of an achievable society, one in which problems and conflict exist, but are resolved peacefully and without bitterness.  In the Beloved Community, caring and compassion drive political policies that support the worldwide elimination of poverty and hunger and all forms of bigotry and violence. The Beloved Community is a state of heart and mind a spirit of hope and goodwill that transcends all boundaries and barriers and embraces all creation. At its core, the Beloved Community is an engine of reconciliation. This way of living seems a long way from the kind of world we have now, but I do believe it is a goal that can be accomplished through courage and determination, and through education and training, if enough people are willing to make the necessary commitment.

If you read Scripture carefully, I think you will find these same sentiments in Jesus’ teachings. And please understand, Jesus was not trying to create a building or organization called the church, rather he was focused on the people, creating a Beloved Community where questions could be asked, where reconciliation could heal, where people could be taken care of, where no one would go hungry or need anything, where there would be no economic or societal inequalities, where compassion would be the standard.  

That is far from the community that has evolved that we call the church, today. If anything, much of the church of today is in its very nature a huge failure to Jesus’, Thurman’s, and King’s vision.

And sadly, many Quakers have bought into this mindset and followed the same path. At times, we at First Friends dabble in this as well, but more than not, I see us at First Friends, as a community that wants to change this and embrace more of what Jesus, Thurman, and King were getting at.    

Jesus clearly wanted there to be less suffering, pain, and struggle in the world and he believed that would come about through community – or what was originally labeled in scripture, “The Way.”  Scripture says, this “Way” was a means of salvation – again that word too was highjacked to mean being worthy of an afterlife.

But salvation in Greek means deliverance, welfare, prosperity, preservation, and safety.  At one point in scripture salvation is even equated to giving someone a cold cup of water - relieving their suffering.  We have gotten way off track, and I sense that may be why we are missing our calling to see those in our midst who are suffering and struggling.      

Again, let’s pause here for a moment. Mental Health professionals and statistics are trying to get our attention that the United States is suffering from an epidemic called loneliness.  Just listen to this:

·        Loneliness is one of the fastest growing causes of death in our country.

·        It is now being compared to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.  (That blows my mind).

·        Young people ages 15-24 are at the greatest risk, currently, with a huge 70% less interaction with their friends.

·        Men over the age of 55 are reporting a lack of friends and isolation, a growing concern for men’s health.  

·        Depression has risen to 41% among perimenopausal and postmenopausal women. That is the highest ever.  

·        Isolation as a factor was on the rise before Covid and has almost quadrupled since.

What this says to me is that now more than even we need life-giving, joy producing communities, and we need to embrace our gifts and rolls in those communities.  I believe we at First Friends are working hard to do this.  But every once and a while, we need a reminder to open our eyes, to look around us (inside and outside of our meeting).  And we need to ask ourselves: 

·        Who are the suffering and struggling around me? 

·        What might be my role in bringing a newfound joy to their lives?

Joy amid suffering can be cultivated when we look up and see that there are compassionate people supporting and concerned about us. That we are not alone.

When we suffer alone, we suffer more.  And that means we cannot see new opportunities, we cannot experience care, we cannot move beyond our suffering and pain and find joy again. We need each other.  We need communities that compassionately engage one another and help us make our joy complete.  

This morning, I want you to take a moment and think of one person in one of your communities who you know is suffering, struggling, depressed, having a bad day?  Got that person in mind?  Now, I want you to think of one way you could bring them joy, today? 

I have been intentionally doing this since I returned home from sabbatical.  Because I realize how it makes me feel when others recognize me when I am suffering or struggling, or simply having a bad day. It means the world, it brings me hope, I feel a sense of deep love, and know that I am in a Beloved Community that wants me to experience joy.  Also, I have found that when I do this for others while I am struggling, it brings me joy as well. 

As, we enter waiting worship this morning, allow these queries to speak to your condition and embrace your roll in the Beloved Community!

·        Who are the suffering and struggling around me? 

·        What might be my role in bringing a newfound joy to their lives?

7-28-24 - Happiness or Sustaining Joy

Happiness or Sustaining Joy

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

July 28, 2024

Good morning Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections.  This morning, we are continuing to look at joy.  The scripture I have chosen for today is from Psalm 16:9-11 from the New Revised Standard Version.

Therefore, my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices;
    my body also rests secure.
For you do not give me up to Sheol
    or let your faithful one see the Pit.

You show me the path of life.
    In your presence there is fullness of joy;
    in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Last week, as I was standing in the greeting line after Meeting for Worship, Jim Kartholl approached me and said he missed the first part of my message and was wondering if I had talked about the difference between happiness and joy.  I told him I hadn’t, but that we were probably headed in that direction in the coming Sundays. 

Over the years, many have talked about the differences and even some have made entire theologies around the differences that they see specifically in the Bible.  But in my research, most of the time happiness and joyfulness, and you can even throw in blessedness (or Eugene Peterson even at times uses “lucky”), all can be interchangeable in the Bible.

As I was doing my research for this message, I came across author, designer, and researcher, Ingrid Fetell Lee and her website, Aesthetics of Joy. Her take on happiness and joy really caught my attention because even though she is coming from a more secular source, she speaks deeply to what we are taking about this morning. Here is her view of joy and happiness.

“Joy is different than happiness. Happiness is something that measures how good we feel over time. But joy is about feeling good right now, in the moment.”

This is very similar to many of the theologians I trust, and it speaks to what I have experienced in my life.

Ingrid goes on to say,

“This simple distinction has big implications. Our culture is obsessed with the pursuit of happiness, but in the process, we kind of overlook joy. We pursue the things we think will make us happy, but in the process, we often find ourselves too busy or exhausted to experience or appreciate joy. Yet joy is a lot more immediate and accessible than happiness. And ironically, it may actually be one of the most powerful routes to happiness. So rather than chasing after happiness, maybe what we should be doing is focusing on joy instead…”

That summarizes it so well.  And when we add scientists and psychologists to the mix things do not change that much. This view of happiness and joy then becomes about a state of being influenced by a range of different factors, measured over a period of time.

This morning, I want to help you see this for yourself. To do that, let’s do a little experiment. And just like good scientists, we quakers like to experiment by first asking some queries that Ingrid had me asking myself.

For example, if I ask you, Are you happy? - how do you respond?  Take a moment to think about that.  Are you happy?

Ingrid says, “You might start thinking about how fulfilled you are in your career, your health, the state of your relationships with family and friends, your significant other or maybe your desire to find one. And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s even a bit difficult to tell if you’re happy. Maybe you’ve experienced this. Most of your life is firing on all cylinders, but you’re dealing with a difficult situation at work [or in your family] and so while you feel like you should be happy, you’re not sure you are.”

This then could go back to last week’s message when I talked about the things that steal our happiness and joy. Are we aware of what those are?  

We must admit that happiness is complex, and sometimes, the more we think about it, the less certain we become.

Now, if I ask you this query, Do you feel joyful? – how might you respond?  Again, take a moment to consider this. Do you feel joyful?

I sense it is a much simpler query. Because joy is an emotion measured in the moment, it’s not something we have to think about.

Ingrid says, “We know what joy feels like, and we can usually say with pretty good accuracy whether or not we’re feeling it in a given moment.

If you read my As Way Opens this week, I named specific ways I saw joy in the places we traveled. It is easy to see if we just look and reflect.

Actually, in my mind right now, I have a list of things that bring me joy – some might surprise you. And I might be surprised by what brings you joy.    

But then, if I were to ask you, What would make you happy? Now, that might open up a can of worms and send you in a much different direction. What would make you happy?  

Ingrid says, “The answer might be anything from earning a promotion to getting a degree to getting married to moving closer to (or further away from!) your family” and let’s add having your political candidate win the election.  

The problem is that many of these things aren’t in our control.

But if I asked you, What would bring you joy?  I’ll bet you could name at least a handful of things that might do the trick.

·        A walk on the beach at sunset.

·        Playing with a puppy.

·        Lunch or a phone call with a good friend.

·        A bouquet of flowers.

·        An inspiring piece of art.

·        A visit to a vibrant café in a different part of town.

·        Listening to an upbeat song (and dancing for a few minutes).

·        Eating a favorite food.

·        Getting your hair done or cut (there is just something about that which makes you feel good – well that is if you have hair).

Because folks, true joy lives in moments, making it a lot simpler and easier to find than happiness.

Let’s take a pause here - joy is nice, but if you are listening carefully, you probably heard me say that it only lasts a moment. You are probably asking, “What do mean, Bob? That’s not what we want. I don’t know about you, but I want lasting joy, complete joy, actually joy all the time would be nice, right?”

Well, let’s be honest, you might feel good while listening to music.  I know many of you not only enjoy Eric’s music during worship, but also go and listen to him at a local eatery or at Feinstein’s in Carmel.  Whenever I do that, I walk away on a high – take for example the Billy Joel concert he gave, it had me filled with joy for weeks. But slowly overtime, it wore off. The difficulties of life reared their ugly heads once again.  And I had to ask, does that moment of joy really do anything for my overall happiness?

What’s the value of a walk on the beach at sunset, if all your problems will be waiting right there for you when you get back?

Why go look at amazing art in a museum, if after leaving it you return to your lackluster life?

This is maybe where we can clarify that Joy isn’t happiness, and it isn’t a solution for everything that bothers us in life.  This morning in in-person worship, I asked Eric to sing a song by David Wilcox called “The Beautiful,” if you go listen to it, you will see explains this so poetically. In the chorus it says, it is the beautiful that saves us. Or as David Wilcox said about the song, it sustains us. It is the joy that music, nature, art, you fill in the blank, brings that sustains even saves our soul.

Even Ingrid points out that, “What’s interesting is that research has found that these little moments of joy often have a halo effect, where their impact reaches beyond the moment of joy itself. In several important ways, those little moments of joy add up to more than the sum of their parts. And over time, their cumulative effects can lead to greater happiness.”  

What she is describing is that sustaining and saving joy. 

And this is when it all starts to come together for me.  Joy has some important effects on each of us that we need to recognize and understand. I believe they explain how our moments of joy sustain us and help us grow into a life of happiness. I want to focus on just 5 of them this morning.  

1. Joy brings us into the present

I used to tell a group of young men that I mentored that we spend too much time worrying about the future and dwelling on out past, all while missing the joy of the present moment.  This is exactly what this is all about.

Ingrid says, “Thinking about happiness often takes us out of the moment. We think about past experiences, how much progress we’re making toward our goals, and our likelihood of future happiness. Joy, on the other hand, absorbs us in the present moment. It engages our senses, letting us tune out our worries about what might be wrong with our lives for a little while.”

Quakers have always spoke of Jesus our Present Teacher.  The Spirit of the present moment. Many think the “Joy of the Lord” is yet to come, or maybe already came and we missed it.  But even Jesus says it is in the present moment, it is now.  

2. Joy broadens our minds

Research shows that experiences of positive emotions like joy lead us to take a broader, more open-minded view of the world.  Pause on this one for a moment.  Christianity, even religion in general, has been seen and labeled as narrow minded, even at times, closed minded.  And when describing these people, it is said they have no joy.  

Just think about the people you know who are the most rigid, the ones who seem mad about everything, the curmudgeons who are always complaining, being negative, and pulling us down.  They probably lack joy in their lives.  And if they lack joy they probably also haven’t broadened their minds.  And this leads us directly into the next one.

3. Joy attracts others

Ingrid says, “One of the most significant — if not the most significant factor influencing happiness — is the quality of our relationships.”  I said this last week, joy is contagious. Jesus knew it. John knew it. Even Paul knew it.  Joy spreads and fills us up, and perhaps because we unconsciously know this, we are attracted to people who express positivity.

They’ll know we are Christians by our Love – or maybe it should have been, “They’ll know we are Christians by our joy.”  Or as the poem I shared in As Way Opens this week by Mary Oliver stated, “It could be anything, but very likely you notice it is the instant when love begins.” Think about that, joy is the instance when love begins. 

Thus, before they know we are Christians by our love they must see our joy!  

Well, if joy is this important to our relationships and how we understand things, then…

4. Joy improves our health

Ingrid points out, “For example, people reporting regular positivity have been shown to have lower cortisol, inflammation, and blood pressure. Over time, some researchers believe that these effects may help reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease, and even help us live longer.”

But joy also improves our mental health. It brings clarity of mind, it builds confidence, it even helps with depression.  I heard of a study once that had a group of people who were put in a room and told really funny jokes for an hour.  At points during the experiment people were shedding tears they were laughing so hard.  It also showed how laughter is contagious. After the hour they went back to work, and every one of the people in the experiment had much more productive days.  They even said their attitude changed.  And that they wished every morning could start that way.  Hmm… And that leads us to the fifth and last one. 

5. Joy begets more joy

Ingrid says, “Research shows that when we feel a little burst of joy (such as that we might feel if someone gave us a small gift of candy), we are more attentive to positive stimuli in our surroundings. We literally see more joy in the world around us when we’re in a positive mood. It’s almost as if the feeling of joy creates a kind of rose-colored filter for the world, prompting us to widen our peripheral vision so that we can find more bursts of joy to keep the feeling going.”

This is why the Bible is full of people reminding us to be joyful, to seek joy to make us complete, to engage with others in joyful activities.  Joy is what produces the happiness within our souls for the long haul of life. 

So, if joy makes us more exploratory, healthier, and more pleasing to others, this in turn might lead us to discover new opportunities and have more favorable, and even spontaneous, interactions that have the possibility to change our world. Just maybe, the world will seem friendlier, more benevolent, more abundant, and less full of obstacles.  Or as our scripture said this morning, “a fullness of joy and pleasures evermore.”

As we enter waiting worship this morning, I want us to return to those queries I started with and allow ourselves to ponder them deeply,

·        Am I happy?

·        Do I feel joyful?

·        What would make me happy?

·        What would bring me joy?