Micah 6:8 (Message)
But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously.
I returned last week from closing my brother’s apartment in Minneapolis as well as having a small celebration of his life. The memorial service was a wonderful time of sharing stories about my brother as a group of scientists that Dave worked with for ten years at Medtronic Corporation gathered with us at his service. I had never met any of them in these years, but they had some great and funny tales about Dave.
They described Dave as a brilliant classically trained physiologist with a breadth of knowledge that he eagerly and unselfishly shared with others. He always though, noticed the slightest flaw in anyone’s data or logic, and he shared his observations with them. He never did this with the intent to diminish a person but only to help them become a better scientist. In their younger days, some of them explained that Dave’s criticism personally hurt them when they had put some much time and thought into their work and Dave would point out the weakness in the data. As they matured as human beings and scientists, they learned not to take things too seriously or personally when the goal was to make the whole team better and they all described Dave as a mentor.
Dave also had little tolerance for pretention or ego, and he encountered lots of this over the years. Dave worked with many well-known cardiologists and heart surgeons around the country as he conducted experiments and wrote articles with these doctors. Many of them took themselves very seriously and yet Dave had no trouble pointing out flawed data or logic even to these pretentious and prestigious doctors.
At Dave’s retirement party from Medtronic, he shared in his speech that his work had never produced a single product for Medtronic over his years. But everyone knew in the room that he had collaborated with most of them on a number of products for Medtronic and that he was always about “we” and never about “I”.
This made me think about one of the things I am most thankful for that Dave taught me in life. Dave was 9 years older than me, and he teased me, cajoled me, and spoke the truth to me as I was growing up. He toughened me up to where I have learned to not take things too seriously and let most slights or grievances roll off my shoulder. He helped me gain a greater understanding of getting over myself and holding things lightly in my hand.
I believe this idea of sensitivity, self-focus and seriousness can unfortunately be evident in the lives of some Christians. The way of Jesus is radical, it takes our focus away from us and puts it on others and it challenges us to be like children in the way we see each other and the world. Jesus said in Matthew 18:1-5 when asked who was the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, “He called a child and said Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of God. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” Jesus summons us to become like children, love like children and not take ourselves so seriously. This certainly seems opposite from the way our culture works, what it values and the characteristics of those seeking power.
I had a chance to experience this sense of childlike wonder and joy at a 13th year old birthday party for our Stella Alford this past weekend. Unfortunately, Stella fell off a swing last week and broke both of her wrists, so she was so limited in her activities. Her close friend Angel joined the party, also visually challenged (many other friends were there). I couldn’t stop smiling at the pure joy I saw with these two girls at the chance to sing happy birthday, listen to music and get excited about all of the adult friends there. Such pure and innocent jubilation – clapping and giggles and exuberance! The smiles and glee were palpable, and I knew this was what Jesus talked about becoming a child. I felt the presence of Christ in a significant way in that backyard gathering.
I have witnessed some Christians though, who are the most outwardly devout and are very serious about their beliefs, their theology, and their right way of thinking. But they don’t exhibit a joy, a sense of wonder or childlike view of the world. Things are serious and there is much work to do. This reminds me of the apostle Paul before he experienced Christ on the road to Damascus. He was strict in the Jewish faith, lived a serious and devout life and pointed out the flaws in what others were doing. It was only when he experienced the transforming power of Christ’s love that he saw how focused he was on himself. He had been the dictator of what he thought was truth, tradition, and the right way to live a faithful Jewish life. His world was turned upside down with the encounter with Christ. In Philliapns 3:8 it says that all this take myself seriously was rubbish compared to what is gained living in Christ. The law doesn’t bring us life, it is Christ. Paul has been liberated by Jesus from self-focus and became a new being in Christ. In the words of author and pastor Tim Keller, Paul is basically saying “I don’t care what you think of me, I don’t even care what I think of me.” Paul has been so liberated by Jesus from self-focus, he knows his life is hidden with Christ in God – that’s where his true life is (Col 3:1-4). And he refuses to be drawn back down into navel-gazing.
God refuses to be known intellectually. God can only be loved and known in the act of love; God can only be experienced in communion. This is why Jesus “commands” us to move toward love and fully abide there. Love is like a living organism, an active force-field upon which we can rely, from which we can draw, and which we can allow to pass through us. I am afraid you can believe doctrines to be true and not enjoy such a radical confidence in love of God at all. To be serious, dogged, and unmoving in beliefs or what “should be” in each church loses the radical love for each other.
This transformed life in Christ is a place where we can truly offer grace and a welcome to others even when we feel slighted, or our feelings are hurt. Our faith allows us to become alive and have a sense of freedom, generosity and to take God seriously but not ourselves. In this transformed way of living, we can become less focused on ourselves and our feelings and instead hold things with a light touch. Doors open in our relationships when others see us full of joy and a lightness of being.
As Chuck Swindoll often said, “Don’t take yourself too seriously…after all, no one else does!”
Our dear friend Linda Lee lived this kind of life. She was a star that was bright and full of light and never took herself too seriously. She lived a life with a childlike wonder and her eyes sparkled, her smile was radiant, and she could dance and sing at a drop of a hat. She was interested in so many things (her latest focus was on ants and their importance of community for survival). Her poetry has touched us all and I share a poem from her latest book Before the Final Fire called Fried Mystic:
In those days
I heard the planets sing,
I lived in the yolk
of the universe-
quivering, tender, raw-
forming yet fluid. I was
sunny side up,
perfect, and luminous
with Love,
smiling at everyone
in the manner
of a saint.
One day,
Beyond the floodlight
Of eternal oneness,
I saw the frying pan.
“Richard Rohr is someone I come back to again and again in his books and teaching. He shared in 2017 on his daily email a message that really impacted me as I think about a transformed life and what that means – one where we live in glee and don’t take ourselves too seriously. He writes, “One of the lessons we might learn from the Gospel stories of Mary Magdalene is that, in the great economy of grace, all is used and transformed. Nothing is wasted. God uses our egoic desires and identities and leads us beyond them. Jesus’ clear message to his beloved Mary Magdalene in their first post-resurrection encounter is not that she squelch, deny, or destroy her human love for him. He is much more subtle than that. He just says to her “Do not cling to me” (John 20:17). He is saying “Don’t hold on to the past, what you think you need or deserve. We are all heading for something much bigger and much better, Mary.” This is the spiritual art of detachment, which is not taught much in the capitalistic worldview where clinging and possessing are not just the norm but even the goal. In her desire to cling to Jesus and his refusal to allow it, we see ourselves reflected as in a mirror. We are shown that eventually even the greatest things in our lives—even our loves—must be released and allowed to become something new. Otherwise, we are trapped. Love has not yet made us free.
Great love is both very attached (“passionate”) and yet very detached at the same time. It is love but not addiction. The soul, the True Self or Whole Self, has everything, and so it does not require any particular thing or person. When we have all things in Christ, we do not have to protect any one thing. The True Self can love and let go. The separate, small self cannot do this. I am told the “do not cling to me” encounter between Jesus and Mary Magdalene is the most painted Easter scene. The artistic imagination knows that a seeming contradiction was playing out here: intense love and yet appropriate distance. The soul and the spirit tend to love and revel in paradoxes; they operate by resonance and reflection. Our smaller egoic selves want to resolve all paradoxes in a most glib way. We only have to look around at all the struggling relationships in our own lives to see that it’s true. When we love exclusively from our small selves, we operate in a way that is mechanical and instrumental, which we now sometimes call codependent. We return again and again to the patterns of interaction we know. This is not always bad, but it is surely limited. Great love—loving from our Whole Selves connected to the Source of all love—offers us so much more.
The ego would like Mary Magdalene and Jesus to be caught up in a passionate love affair. Of course, they are, in the deepest sense of the term, but only the True Self knows how to enjoy and picture a love of already satisfied desire. The True Self and separate self-see differently; both are necessary, but one is better, bigger, and even eternal.
I share a few queries with you as we enter our unprogrammed worship.
Are we too serious in our approach to life?
Do we hold our beliefs too tightly in our hands?
Do we love from our True Self?
Can we release tradition that we hold dear and give grace and welcome to those that see things differently and might have slighted us or hurt our feelings?