Jesus the Empath (Part 4)
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Pastor Bob Henry
October 2, 2022
Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections. This week I am on part four of my series on Empathy. The scripture text for this morning is Matthew 9:35-36 from The Message translation.
Then Jesus made a circuit of all the towns and villages. He taught in their meeting places, reported kingdom news, and healed their diseased bodies, healed their bruised and hurt lives. When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd.
Back when we lived in Oregon, I had a conversation with a friend who introduced me to the term empath. At first, I was skeptical of its meaning, so I spent a lot of time listening to our friend and her experience. After talking to some others about the concept, I began to be able to identify certain people in my life as empathic or even as empaths. As I continued my research, I began to identify characters in the Bible who also showed empathic tendencies. Above all there was Jesus, who, by definition, would be an empath on a very high but balanced level.
So, what do I mean when I use the term empath. To get to the root of the concept, this past summer I began to read The Art of Empathy by Karla McLaren. Karla was the first person to have claimed the title, empath, professionally in the late 70’s. She has spent her life learning to work with, understand, define, redefine, and study emotions, empathy, and empaths. So, who better to go to for a definition of the term. Her definition reads,
An empath is someone who is aware that he or she reads emotions, nuances, subtexts, undercurrents, intentions, thoughts, social space, interactions, relational behaviors, body language, and gestural language to a greater degree than is deemed normal.
But Karla makes sure to point out that we are all empathic at some level. We actually need to be empathic in order to navigate our way through the social world. We all read emotions, intentions, nuances, and so on, because empathy is central to our capacity to connect to, interact with, and understand others and our world.
The reality is that part of our nature (or being) is to be empathic. And I believe it is also part of that of God in each of us. I would say it is an aspect of the Imago Dei or image of God within us. And who better to show us what that looks like, than Jesus.
As part of my second sermon in this series, I began to explore Jesus’ empathy. I reminded us of Jesus’ multi-faceted suffering during his earthly journey and his willingness to identify with us through that suffering. I also identified the variety of empathies Jesus utilized that are recorded in scripture – which I described as his cognitive, affective, emotional, and saving, spiritual, and pro-social empathies. My point was to show how Jesus tapped into a variety of empathies to speak to the conditions of the people he ministered to and served.
By Karla McLaren’s definition, Jesus would have been considered a balanced empath leaning toward a hyper-empath. Yet his empathic capacity and skills were much greater and honed than the average person. Throughout the Bible we get glimpses into his ability to discern what people are feeling, their motives, and even the spirit in which they were operating.
Let me give you some examples of Jesus the Empath:
In Luke 5:22-23 Jesus is speaking to Pharisees who wanted to show he was against “The Law”, but it says, “When Jesus perceived their questionings, he answered them, “Why do you raise such questions in your hearts?” Jesus discerned their motives and answered them with wisdom.
In John 11:33-35 Jesus wept as he saw the pain of Mary and Martha on losing their brother Lazarus. It says, “When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved.” The text emphasizes that he felt their emotions at the depth of his soul.
In Luke 19:41-44 we see Jesus weep another time, this time over the city of Jerusalem. It reads, “As he came near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “If you, even you, had only recognized on this day the things that make for peace!” He was brought to tears over their condition and their lack of understanding.
In John 6:14-15 Jesus was able to escape a mob because he discerned their motives and knew it did not align with God’s Kingdom of love and peace. It says, “When Jesus realized that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, he withdrew again to the mountain by himself.” He knew their intentions were wrong and escaped to take time for his own mindfulness.
In John 4:16-18 Jesus approaches a well and sees a woman who he discerns has had multiple husbands. Jesus shows that he understands her deep shame, lack of identity, and the emotional void this woman carried. It says, Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.” Jesus offered her a chance to experience the fullness of life if she wanted it.
And finally, in Mark 5:30 Jesus is touched by the woman with the issue of blood. There are many cultural references in this text that I don’t want to go into, but I want to focus on this one line in the text,
“Immediately aware that power had gone forth from him, Jesus turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my cloak?”
If you do some research, you will find that the word power is more often translated virtue from the Greek. Thus, in many translations it reads, “the virtue had gone forth from him.” Some may even say this was Jesus’ empathy exuding from him. It was so great for the woman that she found hope again and was healed in more ways than just her issue of blood.
And there are many more examples of Jesus the Empath throughout the gospels. I think it is clear that Jesus’ empathy helped him comprehend, connect to, and care about others in a deep way. His empathy is the underlying ingredient that he wants us to tap into in our own lives, so we can live a more peaceful life with ourselves, with our friends, and with our neighbors.
Thus, I believe, as I have stated throughout this sermon series, following the example of Jesus we should all become more attuned to our own empathic nature for the benefit of our family, friends, and neighbors.
So, to help us get a bit more in touch with our own personal levels of empathy, I would like us to do something different this morning to close this message. I would like us to take an Empathy Inventory. It is from the Karla McLaren’s book. “The Art of Empathy.” Please note: I know this inventory only gives us a picture our empathy and is not complete or all encompassing, but I have found it helpful to get me thinking more about my own empathy and the empathy of those around me.
All you need to do for this inventory is remember the number of questions you answer “yes” to. So, only count how many times you answer “yes.” Then at the end I will explain how you can score your inventory. There are 43 questions – so I will pause briefly and then keep going to get through them. So, answer honestly but quickly. Here we go:
· I tend to know how others are feeling, even (or especially if) they are trying to hide it.
· I tend to avoid conflict because I don’t want to hurt others or make them feel embarrassed.
· People (and animals) and their relationships and interactions are endlessly interesting to me.
· I do not need to see other’s faces to read their emotions.
· I am drawn to situations of injustice, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to alleviate suffering.
· I often mimic the mannerisms, accents, and body language of others without meaning to.
· I tend to think about interpersonal issues by imagining myself in the place of those involved.
· I have a very easy time reading between the lines, under the surface, and behind the obvious.
· I feel beauty palpably; beauty creates a sense of delight and expansiveness in my body.
· Interpersonal conflict – even when it does not involve me personally – often feels physically painful to me.
· I do not like black and white polarization, the truth usually resides somewhere in the middle.
· When I make a social blunder, I feel extremely disturbed, and I work hard to make things right again.
· I feel the emotions of others viscerally, as if the emotions belong to me.
· I can sense and identify multiple simultaneous emotions in myself, in others, and in interactions between duos and groups.
· I can sense and identify the relative intensity of multiple emotions in myself, in others, and in interactions between duos and groups.
· I consider the needs and feelings of others in decisions I make often to the point of ignoring my own needs and feelings.
· I love to watch interactions, especially when the people or animals are unaware of me.
· I enjoy drama, movies, good television shows, and well-told stories.
· I love good literature, well-written characters, and well-placed stories.
· I love to play with and interact lovingly with people and animals.
· I have an easy, natural ability in one or more art forms.
· I have a good and often silly sense of humor.
· I am good with shy people.
· I am good with children.
· I am good with animals.
· In an emergency, I can focus on what’s important and provide assistance.
· I often feel protective tender feelings toward others – even complete strangers.
· Art, music, and literature touch me very deeply.
· I am very sensitive to foods and tend to respond markedly to dietary changes.
· I have an intense capacity to focus on activities that delight and engage me.
· When I am in conflict with others, I tend to talk deeply about it with third parties so that I can sort out the many issues that have led to the conflict.
· I love to talk about and think about interpersonal issues and social structures.
· I have a rich interior life, and I enjoy being alone with my thoughts and ideas.
· I often need to get away from the needs of others and recharge my emotional batteries.
· I am deeply sensitive to things like sounds, colors, textures, scents, shapes, and spatial relationships between objects.
· I am able to stay present (for myself and others) in the face of intense emotions like grief, rage, and despair.
· I tend to physically feel the emotions of fear and anxiety of others in my body, especially when others are unwilling or unable to admit to feeling them.
· I enjoy thinking about, searching for, and finding the perfect gift for others.
· I regularly feel alongside others; I feel their emotions and share their concerns.
· I tend to approach problems tangibly, using my hands and body as I think about and walk through the issues involved.
· I gesture a great deal when I communicate, and my face is often very animated.
· With those closest to me, I tend to rely upon gestures and eye contact (rather than words) during conversations.
· I am very aware of the personal space of others.
Alright if you were marking down the number of yeses – take a moment and count them up. All you need is your total number of yeses.
If you answered yes to 20 or fewer of these questions, you can consider yourself to be somewhat low in empathic ability at this moment. Please note, the reasons for this are different for each person.
This score may mean that you’re relatively uninterested in or unaware of the emotions and situations of others. Sometimes, a lower score can mean that you’re actually hyper-empathic but currently unable to organize your sensitivities and your concerns for others in a way that works for you.
For those had 21-32 yes responses, this midrange of yes responses may place you in just the right empathic sweet spot – where your empathic responses are neither too cold nor too hot. However, there may be areas where you need some support in increasing or decreasing specific sensitivities. We are always trying hard to create a balanced, healthy, and happy emphatic presence in our world.
For those who had 33-43 yes responses, this places you in the high empathy category, which can lead you into hyper-empathy if you haven’t learned to create effective boundaries, work gracefully with emotions, and use self-regulation skills when you’re overwhelmed. As I said earlier, Jesus was probably a hyper-empath but he was able to balance out his emotions, set bounderies, and use self-regulation skills. High levels of empathy can be double-edged swords for many of us, especially if we were born this way. Often those who are in this category never have had to learn about their responses and do not know how to manage their empathic abilities.
Karla McLaren suggests as you consider your score, take some time to think about the people in your life who you consider being low in empathy or high in empathy.
Karla points out that people who seem to be very low in empathy can sometimes be covering up an uncomfortable amount of hypersensitivity or an uncomfortable deep level of concern for others, which means they could use some gentleness and accommodation for others.
On the other side of the coin, people who seem to be high in empathy can be heading for burnout, because their empathic skills are too activated, which means they could use some gentleness and accommodation as well.
Again, this is a lot to chew on, so as we enter waiting worship, I would like us to consider the following queries:
How do I feel about my level of empathy, and what does it say about my empathic skills?
What am I learning from the empathy of Jesus?
How might I utilize my empathy to bring more peace into my life and the life of those around me?