Thankful Awareness
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Pastor Bob Henry
November 20, 2022
Good morning, friends. Our scripture reading for this Sunday is First Thessalonians 5:14-18 from the New Revised Standard Version.
And we urge you, beloved, to admonish the idlers, encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak, be patient with all of them. See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Earlier this week, I had “Today with Hoda and Jenna” on in the background while I was working, because I had heard that Michelle Obama was going to be on to talk about finding light when the world feels low. These ideas were coming from her new book, “The Light We Carry.” (Hearing such a focus on “Light” - I sometimes think having the Obama daughters attend a Quaker school rubbed off on mom and dad.)
Hoda and Jenna opened the interview with explaining how Michelle’s new book was inspired by the 2000+ letters per month that Michelle receives from people thanking her for being an inspiration in difficult times.
Since I am a sucker for a good story, I stopped working for a bit when 25-year old, Irene Dimatulac, a cancer survivor read the letter she wrote to Michelle in 2020 during the pandemic. Before inviting her to come out and meet Michelle, they cut to a video of her reading her letter with an accompanying photo montage.
Through growing tears, I listened to Irene’s cancer battle, her struggle to be a good daughter, her utter fear of the world outside her door during the pandemic, and her loss of feeling worthy and beautiful due to her illness.
But through it all it was Michelle Obama who inspired her to keep going – someone she did not even know personally. The thanks poured from Irene’s lips, the gratitude was seen on her face, and there was a sense that even though she had never met Michelle Obama, she had given her hope in these really hard times through sharing her own struggles.
I was wiping the tears from my face, as Irene had the opportunity to meet and thank Michelle in person on the show.
I think Michelle Obama was absolutely correct in responding to meeting Irene by saying,
“You never know whose life you’re changing in the process of sharing your story.”
But I believe you could also say,
“You never know whose life you’re changing in the process of being grateful and thanking someone.”
I have found it is just as important and impactful to take the time to express thanks to the people who help, support, even inspire us, especially through difficult times.
My parents intentionally raised me to be thankful. I spent a lot of time in my childhood, at times almost against my will, writing “thank you” notes for presents or experiences I received from relatives and friends. But overtime, that discipline of writing thank you notes changed my view and taught me what I believe is genuine gratitude and thanks.
Now, every month, I take a day or two to stop and write personal thank you notes and emails to people who have made a difference in my life. Sometimes it is in response to something they have done, but often it is more of a response to who they are in my life or in the lives of those around me.
Robert Emmons, psychology professor and gratitude researcher at the University of California, Davis, says that there are two key components of practicing gratitude:
First, we affirm the good things we’ve received.
And second, we acknowledge the role other people play in providing our lives with goodness
Did you hear the words Emmons used in these two points – affirm and acknowledge. Two very Quakerly words.
You may not know that early on in Quaker history, Friends were considered a religious group who greatly lacked gratitude and thanksgiving. Many early Friends believed that thanking someone or showing public gratitude could lead to individuals having pride in what they had done. So, they often would refrain from thanking people or even teaching about gratitude in their Meetings.
Sadly, I think, at times, that belief has continued in pockets among Friends.
Yet, as Friends have evolved, gratitude has evolved as well. Many Friends have acknowledged what lacking thankfulness and gratitude can do to individuals and even to a society.
Recently, Friends Committee on National Legislation asked “What would our society look like if we embraced gratitude? Not just privately, in gratitude journals and personal prayers… but as a civic practice?”
We don’t often think of gratitude as a public act. In her book Grateful: The Transformative Power of Giving Thanks, religious scholar and author Diana Butler Bass explores the radical idea that gratitude is social. It connects us to one another.
Her idea of public gratitude reminds us that it is important for society to witness public acts of gratitude to acknowledge grace (what Quakers might call, “walking in the Light”).
As well, it is important to remember that gratitude and thankfulness is also important for our personal lives.
Monk, author, and lecturer David Steindl-Rast says:
Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy—because we will always want to have something else or something more.
Research has even found a link between gratitude and a wide range of benefits, including, if you can believe this, strengthening your immune system and improving sleep patterns, feeling optimistic and experiencing more joy and pleasure, being more helpful and generous, and even feeling less lonely and isolated.
Even God wants us to have a spirit of gratitude in all we do and say. We heard this in our scriptures for this morning, “give thanks in all circumstances.” When we are grateful, we will have greater happiness and satisfaction in our lives. We will recognize the influence and blessings of God.
That means lacking gratitude and thankfulness or avoiding it could actually be detrimental to our lives and even our health in so many ways.
One of the Quaker queries that I most appreciate is the one that asks:
“Do I live in thankful awareness of God’s constant presence in my life?”
I feel that being in "thankful awareness" and expressing gratitude is at the heart of the spiritual life. This includes gratitude not only for God, but also for that of God in the people around us.
So, to close this sermon this morning, I would like for us to take a moment to explore our “thankful awareness.” It won’t just help our Thanksgiving holidays, but it will help us remember what we should be grateful for, and how we may have forgotten or neglected to see all that God has provided for us.
I have broken it down to 5 specific areas to consider.
1. Identify 3 things that you feel thankful for and appreciate about your life.
These things can be based on the past, present, or future. No category or thing is too big or small to appreciate, however, being specific might be helpful.
2. Identify 3 things that you take for granted but are actually very thankful for.
We all have things that we take for granted. This is the time to reflect and discover which of those you value the most.
3. Identify 3 things that you appreciate about yourself.
Pick things that are meaningful. These can involve your personality, your qualities, your actions, or anything else directly related to yourself.
4. Identify 3 things that you feel grateful for about First Friends.
What does First Friends mean to you and your spiritual journey.
5. Identify 3 people who had a significant and positive experience on your life.
These can be coaches, mentors, professors, bosses, family members, or anyone else. Call those people to mind and think about how they made a difference in your life.
Whether it is by giving a testimony of gratitude during Open Worship today, by making a phone call, writing a note, planning a lunch, visiting the graveyard or favorite place you spent time together, find a way to let those people know your gratitude today.
Let us continue this as we enter Waiiting Worship this morning.