Lessons from Life
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Beth Henricks
June 30, 2024
Good morning, Friends. Our scriptures are Proverbs 2:1-5 and James 3:13-18.
“My child, if you accept my words
and treasure up my commandments within you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding,
if you indeed cry out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures—
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.”
“Who is wise and knowledgeable among you? Show by your good life that your works are done with gentleness born of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not be arrogant and lie about the truth. This is not wisdom that comes down from above but is earthly, unspiritual, devilish. For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”
Friends, what a joy to watch our kids during VBS engage with God and each other as we spent the week learning about friendship with God and its many dimensions that we can trust. The singing, the dancing, the games, snacks, Bible stores and expanding our imaginations all filled us with joy and awe that week and I always come away from the experience tired and yet thankful for what our children teach us. I hope you enjoyed this brief glimpse into the amazing week we had together.
It’s the time of year where we hear a lot of graduation speeches from high school and college stages. We listen to individuals that we admire for certain accomplishments, share their wisdom in their journey to achieve their success. I have been thinking about what we need to impart as wisdom to our own children and young people at First Friends so they may yield good fruit full of mercy. How do we share our insights of our Spiritual journey? I believe it is through our involvement in programs like VBS, children’s worship, youth group, family activities and our interactions and connections with our children and youth so they see in us a life that seeks the understanding and knowledge of the Spirit. Our children are watching us and observing how we live out the teachings of Jesus every day.
One commencement speech I was drawn to and had to listen to it in its entirety was Roger Federer speaking at Dartmouth College. Federer is the great tennis player that retired 2 years ago. I’ve always admired this man’s tennis (even though Rafa Nadal is my all-time favorite player) and the way he conducts himself on the court and the way he treats his opponents. I hope everyone views the video of the last time Federer and Nadal were on the court together. They held hands and both got emotional with flowing tears and quivering lips – so much respect between these two great tennis players.
Federer was very self-deprecating in his message last month. He said it’s only the 2nd time he’s been on a college campus as he left school at 15 to pursue tennis full time. He was awarded an honorary doctorate that day at Dartmouth.
Federer’s first mantra to share with the graduates was that Effortless is a Myth. Many folks over the years would comment and describe Federer’s style as effortless but nothing could be further from the truth. Hard work is everything. Federer recounted that earlier in his career he remembered that he would be the favorite player for the first 2 hours of the match and then the opponent knew he would become the favorite for the remainder of the match. Roger realized that he could not just rely on talent but that he had to train harder and work harder than anyone else to become the champion that he is. When we have discipline and train and work harder and longer, we will sometimes win even when we are at our worst. We have to trust ourselves when we have put in the work.
Federer’s second mantra is that It’s Only a Point. We will all face losses, setbacks, disappointments and yet we can’t allow that to derail us or mire our feet in inaction. Federer pointed out that on average in most championship games for major tournaments the points won are 54%. That means that 46 % of the time the winner of the game loses the point. That is a small difference between winning and losing. Federer shared about that Wimbledon match in 2008 against Nadal that is sometimes called the greatest match of all time. Federer was playing for history trying to achieve his 6th consecutive Wimbledon title. The match went on for over 5 hours and Nadal came out the winner and Federer realized this dream would not happen. He said that the match was lost in the first set because Nadal came out hungrier and Federer played that negative narrative in his mind because Nadal had just beat him at the French Open and the seed of doubt crept into his head.
Perfection is impossible. Many of us tend toward perfectionism and we can drive ourselves to negative places trying to achieve this. We must view each point in our lives as just that. We could feel terrific about something and appreciate it in the moment but something negative could be lurking in the shadows. One of the lessons I learned that was so valuable to me with my husband Jerry while he was alive was that nothing is as good as it appears, and nothing is as bad as it appears. We often go to the bottom of gloom or the high of euphoria and both are an illusion. I think Federer understands this and incorporates this in his approach to his game of tennis.
Federer didn’t collapse with that disappointing loss at Wimbledon and lose his focus and form. The best know how to lose and learn to deal with it, adapt and grow from the loss and work smarter in the future. This certainly proved true with Federer as he holds the third most grand slam titles in history with 20.
Federer’s third and final mantra is that Life is Bigger than the Court. I believe this is the most important point that we all need to embrace in our lives. We often define ourselves in a couple of ways – with our career, our role as parent or spouse or with our tribe and these are important identities that can require our discipline and hard work. But it is important that we seek out a rewarding and holistic life with things like culture, friendships, knowledge and curiosity.
No matter what we achieve we must never abandon our roots – these roots are planted deeply within us, and they will be our foundation when the storms enter our lives. These roots are nurtured through family or mentors that guide and challenge us. They are watered through communities that we are a part of – faith communities, neighborhoods, extended family, teachers, coaches etc.
It is important that we serve others. This is a key to living an integrated and holistic life. We find meaning when we give of ourselves to others. This can take many forms and will be individual to each of us.
We are all part of a team even when our sport is one on one with the opponent. Our team prepares us, supports us, encourages us, points out our weaknesses and offers suggestions to problems. We all need a team as we journey through life.
Federer says to play free. I think that means that if we prepare and work, we should then release the outcome, live and play with abandon, and not take ourselves too seriously and lean into the moment. Anyone that achieves success is doing “that thing” they love, and their passion is so great that they wouldn’t do anything else. Others are drawn to someone that is energetic and passionate and believes wholeheartedly in what they are doing. Negative energy is wasted energy.
Friends, I take this wisdom from Federer and connect this with the path of Christ. The book of James is full of the idea that grace without works is dead. We must work hard and serve others or grace is an empty vessel. It is available but has little meaning without our participation.
Jesus is all about redemption when we fail. The Prodigal Son is a great parable that emphasizes that God loves us even in our failings and disappointments. We lose 46% of our points in life and yet God loves and embraces us throughout this journey.
Jesus emphasizes the wholeness of life. Jesus does not partition our religious life, our family life, our work life. He connects all of them in a web of mutuality and interdependence.
We now enter a time of waiting worship. Here are a few queries for you to consider. I welcome you into this holy remote gathering.
Do I put in the work and the effort in my spiritual life?
Am I able to move on beyond my disappointments and losses?
How do I seek to live in a holistic way?