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10-2-22 - Jesus the Empath (Part 4)

Jesus the Empath (Part 4)

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

October 2, 2022

 

Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections.  This week I am on part four of my series on Empathy.  The scripture text for this morning is Matthew 9:35-36 from The Message translation.  

 

Then Jesus made a circuit of all the towns and villages. He taught in their meeting places, reported kingdom news, and healed their diseased bodies, healed their bruised and hurt lives. When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd.

 

Back when we lived in Oregon, I had a conversation with a friend who introduced me to the term empath. At first, I was skeptical of its meaning, so I spent a lot of time listening to our friend and her experience. After talking to some others about the concept, I began to be able to identify certain people in my life as empathic or even as empaths.  As I continued my research, I began to identify characters in the Bible who also showed empathic tendencies. Above all there was Jesus, who, by definition, would be an empath on a very high but balanced level. 

 

So, what do I mean when I use the term empath. To get to the root of the concept, this past summer I began to read The Art of Empathy by Karla McLaren.  Karla was the first person to have claimed the title, empath, professionally in the late 70’s. She has spent her life learning to work with, understand, define, redefine, and study emotions, empathy, and empaths. So, who better to go to for a definition of the term. Her definition reads,

 

An empath is someone who is aware that he or she reads emotions, nuances, subtexts, undercurrents, intentions, thoughts, social space, interactions, relational behaviors, body language, and gestural language to a greater degree than is deemed normal.

 

But Karla makes sure to point out that we are all empathic at some level. We actually need to be empathic in order to navigate our way through the social world. We all read emotions, intentions, nuances, and so on, because empathy is central to our capacity to connect to, interact with, and understand others and our world.

 

The reality is that part of our nature (or being) is to be empathic. And I believe it is also part of that of God in each of us. I would say it is an aspect of the Imago Dei or image of God within us. And who better to show us what that looks like, than Jesus.   

 

As part of my second sermon in this series, I began to explore Jesus’ empathy.  I reminded us of Jesus’ multi-faceted suffering during his earthly journey and his willingness to identify with us through that suffering. I also identified the variety of empathies Jesus utilized that are recorded in scripture – which I described as his cognitive, affective, emotional, and saving, spiritual, and pro-social empathies. My point was to show how Jesus tapped into a variety of empathies to speak to the conditions of the people he ministered to and served.

 

By Karla McLaren’s definition, Jesus would have been considered a balanced empath leaning toward a hyper-empath. Yet his empathic capacity and skills were much greater and honed than the average person. Throughout the Bible we get glimpses into his ability to discern what people are feeling, their motives, and even the spirit in which they were operating.

 

Let me give you some examples of Jesus the Empath:

 

In Luke 5:22-23 Jesus is speaking to Pharisees who wanted to show he was against “The Law”, but it says, When Jesus perceived their questionings, he answered them, “Why do you raise such questions in your hearts?” Jesus discerned their motives and answered them with wisdom. 

 

In John 11:33-35 Jesus wept as he saw the pain of Mary and Martha on losing their brother Lazarus. It says, “When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved.” The text emphasizes that he felt their emotions at the depth of his soul.

 

In Luke 19:41-44 we see Jesus weep another time, this time over the city of Jerusalem. It reads, “As he came near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “If you, even you, had only recognized on this day the things that make for peace!” He was brought to tears over their condition and their lack of understanding.

 

In John 6:14-15 Jesus was able to escape a mob because he discerned their motives and knew it did not align with God’s Kingdom of love and peace.  It says, “When Jesus realized that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, he withdrew again to the mountain by himself.” He knew their intentions were wrong and escaped to take time for his own mindfulness.

 

In John 4:16-18 Jesus approaches a well and sees a woman who he discerns has had multiple husbands. Jesus shows that he understands her deep shame, lack of identity, and the emotional void this woman carried. It says, Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.” Jesus offered her a chance to experience the fullness of life if she wanted it. 

 

And finally, in Mark 5:30 Jesus is touched by the woman with the issue of blood. There are many cultural references in this text that I don’t want to go into, but I want to focus on this one line in the text,

 

“Immediately aware that power had gone forth from him, Jesus turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my cloak?” 

 

If you do some research, you will find that the word power is more often translated virtue from the Greek. Thus, in many translations it reads, “the virtue had gone forth from him.” Some may even say this was Jesus’ empathy exuding from him. It was so great for the woman that she found hope again and was healed in more ways than just her issue of blood.

 

And there are many more examples of Jesus the Empath throughout the gospels. I think it is clear that Jesus’ empathy helped him comprehend, connect to, and care about others in a deep way. His empathy is the underlying ingredient that he wants us to tap into in our own lives, so we can live a more peaceful life with ourselves, with our friends, and with our neighbors.

 

Thus, I believe, as I have stated throughout this sermon series, following the example of Jesus we should all become more attuned to our own empathic nature for the benefit of our family, friends, and neighbors.

 

So, to help us get a bit more in touch with our own personal levels of empathy, I would like us to do something different this morning to close this message.  I would like us to take an Empathy Inventory. It is from the Karla McLaren’s book. “The Art of Empathy.” Please note: I know this inventory only gives us a picture our empathy and is not complete or all encompassing, but I have found it helpful to get me thinking more about my own empathy and the empathy of those around me.   

 

All you need to do for this inventory is remember the number of questions you answer “yes” to.  So, only count how many times you answer “yes.” Then at the end I will explain how you can score your inventory.  There are 43 questions – so I will pause briefly and then keep going to get through them. So, answer honestly but quickly. Here we go:

 

·        I tend to know how others are feeling, even (or especially if) they are trying to hide it.

·        I tend to avoid conflict because I don’t want to hurt others or make them feel embarrassed.

·        People (and animals) and their relationships and interactions are endlessly interesting to me.

·        I do not need to see other’s faces to read their emotions.

·        I am drawn to situations of injustice, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to alleviate suffering. 

·        I often mimic the mannerisms, accents, and body language of others without meaning to.

·        I tend to think about interpersonal issues by imagining myself in the place of those involved.

·        I have a very easy time reading between the lines, under the surface, and behind the obvious.

·        I feel beauty palpably; beauty creates a sense of delight and expansiveness in my body.

·        Interpersonal conflict – even when it does not involve me personally – often feels physically painful to me.

·        I do not like black and white polarization, the truth usually resides somewhere in the middle.

·        When I make a social blunder, I feel extremely disturbed, and I work hard to make things right again.

·        I feel the emotions of others viscerally, as if the emotions belong to me.

·        I can sense and identify multiple simultaneous emotions in myself, in others, and in interactions between duos and groups.

·        I can sense and identify the relative intensity of multiple emotions in myself, in others, and in interactions between duos and groups.

·        I consider the needs and feelings of others in decisions I make often to the point of ignoring my own needs and feelings.

·        I love to watch interactions, especially when the people or animals are unaware of me.

·        I enjoy drama, movies, good television shows, and well-told stories.

·        I love good literature, well-written characters, and well-placed stories.

·        I love to play with and interact lovingly with people and animals.

·        I have an easy, natural ability in one or more art forms.

·        I have a good and often silly sense of humor.

·        I am good with shy people.

·        I am good with children.

·        I am good with animals.

·        In an emergency, I can focus on what’s important and provide assistance.

·        I often feel protective tender feelings toward others – even complete strangers.

·        Art, music, and literature touch me very deeply.

·        I am very sensitive to foods and tend to respond markedly to dietary changes.

·        I have an intense capacity to focus on activities that delight and engage me.

·        When I am in conflict with others, I tend to talk deeply about it with third parties so that I can sort out the many issues that have led to the conflict.

·        I love to talk about and think about interpersonal issues and social structures.

·        I have a rich interior life, and I enjoy being alone with my thoughts and ideas.

·        I often need to get away from the needs of others and recharge my emotional batteries.

·        I am deeply sensitive to things like sounds, colors, textures, scents, shapes, and spatial relationships between objects.

·        I am able to stay present (for myself and others) in the face of intense emotions like grief, rage, and despair.

·        I tend to physically feel the emotions of fear and anxiety of others in my body, especially when others are unwilling or unable to admit to feeling them.

·        I enjoy thinking about, searching for, and finding the perfect gift for others.

·        I regularly feel alongside others; I feel their emotions and share their concerns.

·        I tend to approach problems tangibly, using my hands and body as I think about and walk through the issues involved.

·        I gesture a great deal when I communicate, and my face is often very animated.

·        With those closest to me, I tend to rely upon gestures and eye contact (rather than words) during conversations.

·        I am very aware of the personal space of others.

 

Alright if you were marking down the number of yeses – take a moment and count them up. All you need is your total number of yeses.

 

If you answered yes to 20 or fewer of these questions, you can consider yourself  to be somewhat low in empathic ability at this moment. Please note, the reasons for this are different for each person. 

 

This score may mean that you’re relatively uninterested in or unaware of the emotions and situations of others. Sometimes, a lower score can mean that you’re actually hyper-empathic but currently unable to organize your sensitivities and your concerns for others in a way that works for you.

 

For those had 21-32 yes responses, this midrange of yes responses may place you in just the right empathic sweet spot – where your empathic responses are neither too cold nor too hot.  However, there may be areas where you need some support in increasing or decreasing specific sensitivities. We are always trying hard to create a balanced, healthy, and happy emphatic presence in our world.

 

For those who had 33-43 yes responses, this places you in the high empathy category, which can lead you into hyper-empathy if you haven’t learned to create effective boundaries, work gracefully with emotions, and use self-regulation skills when you’re overwhelmed. As I said earlier, Jesus was probably a hyper-empath but he was able to balance out his emotions, set bounderies, and use self-regulation skills. High levels of empathy can be double-edged swords for many of us, especially if we were born this way. Often those who are in this category never have had to learn about their responses and do not know how to manage their empathic abilities.

 

Karla McLaren suggests as you consider your score, take some time to think about the people in your life who you consider being low in empathy or high in empathy. 

 

Karla points out that people who seem to be very low in empathy can sometimes be covering up an uncomfortable amount of hypersensitivity or an uncomfortable deep level of concern for others, which means they could use some gentleness and accommodation for others.

 

On the other side of the coin, people who seem to be high in empathy can be heading for burnout, because their empathic skills are too activated, which means they could use some gentleness and accommodation as well.

 

Again, this is a lot to chew on, so as we enter waiting worship, I would like us to consider the following queries:

 

How do I feel about my level of empathy, and what does it say about my empathic skills?  

What am I learning from the empathy of Jesus?

How might I utilize my empathy to bring more peace into my life and the life of those around me?

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9-25-22 - Empathy, It's Hard (Part 3)

Empathy, It’s Hard (Part 3)

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

September 25, 2022

 

Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections.  This week I am on part three of my series on Empathy.  The scripture text for this morning is Micah 6:8 from the New Revised Standard Version.

 

He has told you, O mortal, what is good,
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice and to love kindness
    and to walk humbly with your God?

 

On Monday, as I sat down to write the next sermon in this series on Empathy, I took a moment to reflect where we have been so far.  If you missed a sermon in this series, you may want to go back and watch it on our YouTube channel.

 

In my first sermon I shared that I believe empathy is a gift that enables us to take the perspective of another, to see the world as Thoreau says, “through their eyes,” and to deeply connect with them in a way that wouldn’t be possible without this special gift. And at the end of the message, I focused on Lauren Graham’s signs that we are not doing empathy well.

 

Last week, I showed us how Jesus’ empathy arose out of his own relational, emotional, and physical suffering, and how he responded to the marginalized of his day through cognitive, affective, compassionate, and saving/pro-social/spiritual empathy. Leaving us to ponder how we are or should respond to those suffering in our world. 

 

Today, I want to explore why empathy often seems to have a problem within religion and especially Christianity, today.  To help us explore this, I will be referencing Senior Lecturer in Psychology from Leeds Beckett University, Dr. Steve Taylor’s perspective on this subject.  

 

But before we dive into the meat of Dr. Taylor’s work and what I have gleaned from it, I want to take you back to Monday morning when I sat down to write this message. 

 

As I opened Facebook after my morning meditation, I took a moment to look at my Facebook Memories realizing that 2 years ago I had posted about the monumental passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 

 

At the same time, I was receiving updates about Queen Elizabeth’s funeral happening that morning, so I turned on my TV to have the funeral playing in the background.

 

As I returned to my memories, I read how 8 years ago my mom was cleared to begin therapy to walk again after enduring a head-on automobile collision in Oregon.

 

And how 9 years ago that Monday I was interviewing fellow pastor and Friend, Phil Gulley on his new book at the time, “Living the Quaker Way” for Englewood Review of Books. 

 

And then, overwhelmingly sprinkled through my memories each year since I first jumped on Facebook in 2007, were memorials to the passing of singer and songwriter, Rich Mullins. Monday happened to be the 25th anniversary of his sudden and early death by a car accident in Bloomington, Illinois back in 1997.  I realized within the first hour that this was becoming a rather heavy day for me to be reviewing my memories.

 

I paused for a moment and thought I would mute the funeral procession of Queen Elizabeth and jump off Facebook and take a few more moments to listen to some of Rich’s music. After a couple of my favorites, a song that has always spoke to my condition came on. The song was “Hard” by Rich Mullins. I have asked Eric to come and play it for us today to set the tone for this message.  

 

[Eric will play “Hard.”]

 

Thank you, Eric. 

 

Dr. Taylor says that the teachings of religious leaders such as Jesus set a high bar for human behavior and that their followers often struggle to meet these standards.

 

This is what Rich Mullins was wrestling with in that song Eric just sang. We must be honest, it’s not easy to love your enemy; it’s not easy to turn the other cheek when someone insults or injures you. It's not easy to refrain from lying or harming other living beings.

 

Nevertheless, in our world today, it often surprises me when people who call themselves religious, or more specifically Christian, act in ways that are contrary to the basic teachings of their faith. 

 

Most experts, including Dr. Taylor, state that the essence of Jesus’s teachings is empathy and compassion – as I tried to highlight last week in my sermon.  Dr. Taylor says that,

 

“At a time when the Romans were oppressing and murdering his people, Jesus advocated his followers to ‘do good to those who hate you’ and ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him.’ At a time when human life was full of brutality and war, Jesus stated that ‘Blessed are the peacemakers,’ and advised soldiers to ‘Put your sword back into its place; for those who live by the sword, die by the sword.’

 

And yet, the actions of many who claim they are Christian in our world today are difficult to understand in light of these teachings.

 

I too find myself questioning this all the time. I personally find it really hard to do good to those who hate me – and God forbid I would want to make them dinner or take care of their needs.

 

Even though I am a Quaker, I find my actions not befitting a peacemaker on occasion. Sure, I have a sticker on my car that says, “War is not the answer” but often I find myself embroiled in wars of a much different nature – conversational or email wars, Meeting wars, even theological wars. I have to ask myself, do I really believe in peacemaking or just getting what I want or being right?  

 

Dr. Taylor asks some poignant queries regarding these difficulties:

·        Why are some Christians suspicious and hostile towards marginalized groups, rather than being charitable?

·        Why do some Christians advocate conflict and aggression towards other countries rather than pursuing peace?

·        Why do they support government leaders who seem incapable of empathy and compassion, and whose policies lead to increased xenophobia and conflict?

 

This is nothing new, history shows that there has always been a massive gulf between religious teaching and the actions of religious people.

 

Dr. Taylor pointed out that hundreds of millions of people have been killed in the name of Christianity. From the Crusades to the Spanish Inquisition and the Nazis, violent psychopaths have used the Christian religion as a pretext for mass murder, or at least seen no contradiction in committing atrocities whilst professing to be Christians.

 

Talk about hard…this is hard. 

 

So why is there a tragic mismatch between Christian teachings and the actions of Christian people?

 

Dr. Taylor says it is too simplistic to accuse religious people of hypocrisy, of not being real Christians…, or of twisting the teachings of their religion to suit their own ends.  Those are what we usually go-to.

 

There is some truth in all those accusations, but Dr. Taylor believes that there is a more fundamental reason. He says,

 

“While religions may teach compassion and empathy, actually being religious often leads to a diminishing of the capacity for empathy and compassion. For many people, the function of religion is to strengthen the self, bringing a sense of certainty and superiority and group identity. Feeling that you possess ‘the truth’ and that everyone else who has different beliefs is wrong, provides a very strong sense of identity, which is bolstered by the feeling of belonging to a group. And a strong sense of ego or self often equates with a low level of empathy and compassion. As our beliefs become stronger, the boundaries of our self become stronger, and we find it more difficult to connect with other human beings. We become ‘walled-in’ by the strong structures of our identity.  As many studies have shown, religious people find it easy to empathize with and be altruistic to members of their group, but are much less empathetic and altruistic towards members of other groups.

 

Another way of putting this is that for most people, the actual teachings of religions aren’t so important. The paramount thing is the psychological function of religions — that is, the sense of certainty and identity that they provide. The psychological benefits of religion are so great that some believers are able to ignore and contradict the essential teachings of their religion, without experiencing any cognitive discord. Their need for belief outweighs their need for self-authenticity.”

 

Obviously, Dr. Taylor is painting with a broad brush, but he is getting to the core of what I believe Quakers have always wrestled with inside the bubble of religion.  

 

Instead of possessing “the truth” Friends have always worked to be “convinced of” or “seek” the truth together.

 

Therefore, Friends will lean more toward uncertainty than having it all figured out.

 

We will encourage people to ask deeper queries, and work to interact in community instead of on our own.

 

·        It’s why our Faith and Practice is seen as a guide, and a fluid document which can always be questioned and changed.

·        It is why we do not adhere to rigid dogmas, doctrines, or creeds. 

·        Its why we embrace Continuing Revelation – which keeps us on our feet looking for what new thing the Divine is doing in our midst. And it allows for us to evolve and grow in our understanding of God and our neighbor.

·        It is why we have many interpretations of scripture and seek guidance from outside the Bible.

·        It is why we do not have images and symbols in our Meetinghouses so all are welcomed and walls and barriers are not set between those of differing beliefs.

·        It is why as Friends, Peace is not just about killing others, but also learning to have respect for them.

·        It is why we are not a denomination but rather a Society of Friends, or even better yet… a way of life.    

 

And these aspects of the Quaker Way have historically been put in place to help keep us from becoming myopic, from naval gazing, and only helping ourselves or protecting our way.

 

Have we always been able to do this? No. Actually, we have many Quaker Meetings who have closed because they could not see outside their four walls. Who became myopic, lost in naval gazing, only to lay down their meetings or churches while protecting their so-called beliefs or ideas. 

 

That is not what I want to see happen at First Friends – even though we are always very close to this reality, especially when we get comfortable, stop asking questions, and forget those outside our four walls.  

 

To help put this in perspective, I often turn to the closing paragraph of Phil Gulley’s book, “Living the Quaker Way” where he reminds us what it means to live the Quaker Way. He says,  

 

“Any religion that does not have a kind and hopeful word for the world’s oppressed or creates by virtue of its principles an underclass is not a religion worth our dedication or obedience. As for me, I want no part of any god or religion that exalts some and vilifies others…To live the Quaker way is to see God not just in some but in all. It is to want the best for all and to work for that lofty goal with a cheerful heart and unflagging zeal. It is to want what Jesus wanted – God’s kingdom of peace and justice to be realized on earth, just as it is realized in heaven. To live the Quaker way is to scorn injustice and reject self-interested privilege. It is in the words of the prophet Micah, to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with the God who cherishes all.”

 

So, my prayer this morning is that we at First Friends would not become myopic, but rather embrace the hard work of living together the Quaker Way.  Let us not diminish our empathy and compassion for others to protect our own desires, certainty, or superiority.

 

 To help us center down into waiting worship, I have a couple queries for us to ponder this morning.

 

·        Where have I become “walled-in” by the structures of my identity and ego? Where has First Friends become “walled-in” by the structures of our identity and ego?

·        Where in my life am I seeking “the best for all”?  What privilege(s) may I need to reject or lay down to better welcome and serve my neighbor? 

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9-18-22 - Climbing into Their Skin (Part 2)

Climbing into Their Skin

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

September 18, 2022

 

Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections. Today, we are continuing our fall sermon series on empathy. The scripture text we will be looking at is Matthew 20:29-34 from the New Revised Standard Version:  

 

As they were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him. There were two blind men sitting by the roadside. When they heard that Jesus was passing by, they shouted, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!” The crowd sternly ordered them to be quiet, but they shouted even more loudly, “Have mercy on us, Lord, Son of David!” Jesus stood still and called them, saying, “What do you want me to do for you?” They said to him, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes. Immediately they regained their sight and followed him.

 

 

When our oldest son, Alex, was in high school, he spent a lot of time with the theater department. Often, he was behind the scenes working on tech and lighting, but one year he was encouraged to perform, playing Nathan Radley in the stage production of Harper Lee’s classic, To Kill a Mockingbird. 

 

This happened to be a timely production for our small community of Silverton, Oregon who was openly struggling with issues of race, sexual identity, religious and political diversity.   

 

I clearly remember a moment from the production (which is also in the book) where an inexperienced teacher punishes Scout unfairly on the first day of school. That evening, her father, Atticus, sits with her on the front porch of their home to explain empathy. Atticus says,

 

If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it. 

 

These truths are what has made “To Kill a Mocking Bird” so relevant still today. Sadly, this relevance has also produced a fear among some which has in turn listed it as a banned book in many states. Again, this shows how truth is often hard to swallow. 

 

I think I have shared before, that when I was in my doctoral studies, I had a professor that had us spend time focusing on the human characteristics of Jesus. He believed that all the miracles and divine attributes took away from our ability to relate to Jesus and see him as a character we could emulate in our day-to-day lives.

 

When you take away the miracles and the divine, you begin to see a man who suffered a great deal more than we might expect and is much easier to relate to.

 

Just by exploring the human side of Jesus through the Gospel of John, I was exposed to three different types of suffering Jesus endured – relational, emotional, and physical suffering. 

 

Jesus suffered relationally. He was unwelcome, heaped with unfair expectations, mislabeled, underestimated, gossiped about, plotted against, and abandoned.

 

Jesus suffered emotionally. He was misunderstood, criticized, mocked, belittled, constantly questioned, betrayed, and sentenced despite His innocence.

 

Jesus suffered physically. He was pursued by crowds when He was trying to be alone, and He was fatigued, stripped, beaten, spit on, made to carry the instrument of His death and ultimately crucified.

 

My professor’s point was clearly made, I was finally able to see the historical, human Jesus as one who could relate to our earthly condition and sufferings. Jesus had done what Atticus had encouraged Scout to do – to climb into someone else’s skin and walk around in it. 

 

After finishing my master’s degree, I spent some time working as a professional grant writer for a parachurch organization in Wheaton, IL. Part of my job was to understand our ministries and know how to fully represent them in grant proposals.

 

One of our newest programs was focused on helping formerly incarcerated young women and men achieve their High School diploma or GED to be able to receive productive jobs in society. The two men in charge of the program realized I knew very little about incarcerated youth or the systems and policies that controlled their lives.

 

So, one day, the program leaders asked that I request security clearance to go with them to Juvenile Bootcamp, as well as, Minimum- and Maximum-Security Prisons. They thought I would have a much better understanding of incarceration and the youth within the system, if I met and interacted with them in person.

 

I put my grant writing on hold and for a few days went with the program directors into the jail systems of Chicago. I sat around tables talking with mere children who had been picked up for marijuana possession or stealing a handful of candy at a gas station, and all the way to a young man, whose eyes I will never forget, who had killed his grandmother in front of his mother because he was high on drugs and thought she was an intruder.

 

They each talked about the guilt they had, the desires to make real changes in their lives, and to have a semi-normal life again. Most were the age of the youth in my youth group back at my church. 

 

I may not have actually put myself in their shoes, but I walked away from these experiences with a much different view of what I needed to write grants about to get them real help after they were released from jail. I also went back and did a lot more study on incarceration among minorities in our country. I learned how Mass Incarceration of minorities soared during Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton’s administrations becoming big business in this country.   

 

Overall, the experience changed me and my empathy for these young people grew. That experience is why today I am a big supporter of Bryan Stevenson’s Equal Justice Initiative – which you can read more about in his bestselling book, “Just Mercy.” Another banned book that teaches about both empathy and justice.

 

Bryan Stevenson says that achieving a more just society and fostering an ethic of mercy requires individuals from all side to become more empathetic.”

 

It is why I take my family to Civil Rights sites when on vacation and continue to educate myself about race and the truth of injustices for minorities in this country. I am trying to grow my empathy and the empathy of those around me – and it is not easy.   

 

Now, let’s return briefly to Jesus. As I explored the humanness of Jesus, I also was gripped by how clearly empathetic Jesus is throughout the gospels. I believe Jesus is a model of what Mario Boies calls, integral empathy – meaning Jesus exemplifies the fundamental and essential qualities of empathy.

 

And Boies breaks that into congnitive, affective, compassionate, and pro-social, saving and spiritual empathy. 

 

Cognitive empathy is Jesus deeply understanding the difficult social situations of the marginalized who turn to him for relief from their suffering, and healing from their illnesses.

 

In our text for today, Jesus sees (like Thoreau’s quote from last week) and realizes the pain of the two blind men of Jericho who suffer from the rejection and intolerance of the “crowd that rebuked them.” So, Jesus “puts himself in their shoes” and chooses to stop and listen to their suffering. As soon as he stops, I am sure people included him in the taunting and rejection.

 

Emotional empathy is Jesus welcoming the sick and feels their suffering with his emotions and feelings.

 

Therefore, with his question, “What do you want me to do for you?” in our text, Jesus demonstrates an unconditional welcome and an empathetic listening, letting his heart be touched by the cry of despair and anguish of these men.

 

Jesus did not say, “Here is what you need” or “Let me fix it.”  Instead, his empathy includes space for their desires, and thus they respond by saying, “Lord, may our eyes be opened!”

 

The empathic, cognitive, and affective understanding of the suffering of the blind moved Jesus. So deeply that some translations say he was moved “in his innards.”

 

This deep guttural feeling triggers in Jesus, his compassion and a visceral motivation to give meaning and hope to these two blind men’s lives.

 

Therefore, the expression “Jesus had compassion on them” which appears throughout the Gospels, clearly reveals this compassionate empathy of Jesus.

 

Finally, there is the Saving, Spiritual, and Pro-social empathy. This is where Jesus’ compassion led him to perform genuinely empathic actions and gestures aimed at relieving these men of their suffering, but also to bear witness to the fact that the kingdom of God is not in the future or when we die, but is in the present.

 

Thus, in the case of the two blind men, Jesus’ saving, spiritual, pro-social empathy is manifest in the act of healing or their regaining of sight: Our text says, “He touched their eyes, and they instantly recovered their sight and followed him.”

 

Now, whether you believe our text was a real miracle or simply a metaphor for coming to some insight out of ignorance, there is a saving, spiritual and pro-social quality to this empathetic response.

 

I have learned in scripture, salvation can be as simple as giving someone a cold cup of water or noticing, acknowledging, and seeing people who are suffering and seeking a way to bring healing. This kind of salvation is pro-social and meant for us now in our families, communities, and our Meeting, not just when we die. 

 

So, Jesus’ integral empathy thus becomes an inspiring model for our daily lives.

We too should be aware and working to grow our cognitive, emotional, compassionate, and saving, spiritual, and pro-social empathy for the benefit of those who are suffering around us. 

 

To begin to work on this, I would like us, as we enter waiting worship this morning, to consider someone we know who is suffering in our lives. Then ask yourself the following queries: 

 

·        Do I see and understand their suffering?

·        Do I feel their suffering deeply in my emotions and feelings?

·        Am I being led to have compassion on them?

·        Is there a way I might bring relief to their suffering in the present?  

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9-11-22 - Through Their Eyes (Part 1)

Through Their Eyes

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

September 11, 2022

 

Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections. Today is Kick Off Sunday at First Friends, which means we are starting up all our fall programming. 

 

The scripture for this morning is Galatians 6:2-5 from The Voice translation.   

 

Shoulder each other’s burdens, and then you will live as the law of the Anointed teaches us. Don’t take this opportunity to think you are better than those who slip because you aren’t; then you become the fool and deceive even yourself. Examine your own works so that if you are proud, it will be because of your own accomplishments and not someone else’s. Each person has his or her own burden to bear and story to write.

 

 

American naturalist, essayist, poet, and philosopher Henry David Thoreau was on to something very crucial for our time when he posed this query,

 

“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?”

 

Sit with that query for a moment.

 

“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?”

 

For several months now, I have been noticing a common theme rearing its head in the books, articles, and blogs I have been reading. Even while listening to NPR a week or so ago, the commentator mentioned in an interview that our world is currently deficient in this important aspect, and she was pondering where it had gone and how it would more fully return to the public square.   

 

As I began to do my research for this kickoff Sunday and for this fall sermon series, I realized this common theme has a great deal to do with religion and the Church - and overtime has been relegated to the back seat or back burner needing to return and reclaim its place within our faith and communities for the sake of our own wellbeing. 

 

So, what is this common theme and aspect that is lacking, missing, or being neglected?

 

It is empathy.

 

I believe empathy is a gift that enables us to take the perspective of another, to see the world as Thoreau says, “through their eyes,” and to deeply connect with them in a way that wouldn’t be possible without this special gift.  

 

Also, empathy is a beautiful gift we all have access to. It enables us to see and hear echoes of others in our selves. It is in this way that we come to understand what may or may not be in our own experience, but which allows us to relate to, appreciate, and even feel compassion for others through the deep knowing and connection that occurs when we really listen to their experiences.

 

And all of this is to happen without judgment (maybe the hardest aspect these days), which allows for a deep connection to occur and begins the long journey to true and sustaining peace.

 

Susan Lanzoni in her article “A Short History of Empathy,” says, “The word [empathy] was introduced in the early 1900s as a translation for the German word Einfühlung. Empathy is a combination of two Greek words, “em” and “pathos,” which together mean “in feeling.”

 

Thus, without empathy, we could live, work side-by-side, even worship with other people, and remain as clueless about their inner selves and feelings as we are about those of strangers at a concert or shopping at Target.

 

Empathy isn’t just the catalyst for closeness and positive social behavior, it should also help us put on our internal brakes when we are behaving badly and becoming aware of the pain we’re causing our neighbors.

 

Early Quakers were very interested in empathy. In T. Vail Palmer’s wonderful book, Face to Face: Early Quaker Encounters with the Bible, Palmer makes the case that a deep valuing of empathy played a major role in early Quakers’ interpretation of the Bible. He says,

 

Friends have developed explicit practices for fostering empathy, because even though humans have a capacity for empathy, that does not mean we necessarily pay attention to it. Quaker practices like “listening beyond words” combine with empathy to open the way for people to develop deep insights into each other. Empathetic interactions build connections between people at levels much deeper than rational judgments and accumulated information.

 

I think T. Vail Palmer’s words hark a call to us Quakers to pay attention once again to our empathy. And this is not an easy call and will take some personal work.

 

In USA Today columnist and senior political analyst for CNN, Kristen Power’s important book, Saving Grace: Speak Your Truth, Stay Connected, and Learn to Coexist with People Who Drive You Nuts. (That title alone drew me in), she says,

 

“It is wonderful to be empathetic, and we need more empathy in the world. But what many of us call empathy is actually just an open-door policy to toxic behavior that leaves us burned out.”

 

Therefore, to reclaim empathy, we will need to take some time to look at it from several different angles and delve deeper into what it means for us as Quakers, Christians, and as human beings. This is my plan over the next several Sundays.

 

So, this morning, I want to begin with going back to an article that caught my attention about a year ago by Lauren Graham writer for the FTC Institute. I think she addresses well why it is so important to pay attention to empathy and how easily it can misguide us and create toxic behavior within the Church and in our communities.  Lauren says,

 

“Even in our best efforts to display…love, we often find ourselves struggling with the practical outpouring of empathy in our day to day lives. We may deeply desire to show empathy towards others but find ourselves lost as to what that looks like. We may be well-intentioned in our efforts but find ourselves stumbling in our relationships, many times unbeknownst to us.”

 

I don’t know about you, but for the past few years I have definitely felt lost in regard to being empathetic to certain groups of people – and social media, the news networks, and the polarization of the world have not made it any easier.

 

Lauren helps us unpack this by giving us six signs we are not doing empathy well.  She begins with:

 

1.     We only give empathy when it is convenient to us. The truth of the matter is that if we are doing empathy right, it will cost us in some way, shape, or form. It will cost us energy, time, emotional stability, comfort, and so many other conveniences.

 

Empathy by nature is inconvenient because it demands that we step out of our own world and into the world of another human. And if we are honest with ourselves, many times we simply do not want to pay the price of stepping out of our own world.

 

This is exactly what Jesus was emphasizing when he shared the parable of the Good Samaritan, who was joyous in inconveniencing himself in order to “love his neighbor.” It was empathy that moved him to take action. We will be looking more at what Jesus had to say in the coming weeks.

 

2.     When the other person offends us or makes a mistake, we withhold empathy. We have all heard horror stories about people turning their backs on friends at times when they were needed most. We are very willing to be empathetic until we are confronted with human messiness... It is at this point where many times empathy tends to go out the window.

 

I have been sickened by families and friendships who have withheld empathy over their religious beliefs, political party lines, wearing masks, understanding of racial history, financial situations, even over choices or beliefs about sexual orientations and gender identity issues. Most of the time, this arises because we are unwilling to enter the messiness and actually listen to and understand each other – which is a key aspect of empathy.

 

3.     We look for opportunities to “educate” the other person in the conversation. If we are looking for opportunities to assert ourselves as an expert or a guide, we are likely not expressing empathy but arrogance. Empathy is not an avenue to exalt ourselves but a road on which we die to ourselves in service of our neighbor.

 

We may need to explore this more, as I know this one is quite evident in our world, today – especially with the access we all have to a wealth of knowledge on the internet. Lauren’s next point is similar:

 

4.     We try to fix the problem instead of listening intently for how the person feels. If we are giving another person a how-to guide in order to fix the issue they are facing, we have completely missed the point of empathy.

 

Attempting to fix the situation is not empathy and oftentimes leads to foolish speech as we have not really heard or understood the other person in order to actually be helpful in any way.

 

Please hear me on this: Empathy is being willing to sit in the pain and suffering of another person without trying to change it, lighten it, get rid of it, fix it, or drown it out. 

 

5.     We turn someone else’s vulnerability into an opportunity to draw attention to ourselves. Empathy is not about us, folks. To be empathetic is to sit in the seat of another human and look at the world through their eyes (as Thoreau said).

 

This requires that we abandon any efforts to put the spotlight back on ourselves. This is not easy, and often abused within the church and our world, today. This means, empathy seeks to understand the suffering of the person in front of us not in an effort to play the comparison game with our own stories of suffering.

 

And finally, one of the most important signs:

 

6.     We are not willing to challenge our own beliefs, assumptions, or convictions in hearing another’s story.

 

I truly believe that a large reason why empathy is immensely difficult for many of us is that in order to do it well it would require a certain amount of risk.

 

It is a risk to be empathetic towards others. It is a risk because to do so would mean that we would put ourselves in a position to be challenged, to be proven incorrect or false.

 

Obviously, I am giving us a lot to chew on in this first sermon, but we will continue to unpack some of these ideas in the coming weeks.  As a review and an opportunity to ponder as we head into waiting worship, let me read through Lauren’s signs that we are not doing empathy well, one last time, but this time I will turn them into our queries for this morning:

 

1.     Do I only give empathy when it is convenient to me?

2.     When other people offend me or makes a mistake, do I withhold empathy?

3.     Do I look for opportunities to “educate” the other people in a conversation?

4.     Do I try to fix the problem instead of listening intently for how the person feels?

5.     Do I turn someone else’s vulnerability into an opportunity to draw attention to myself?

6.     Am I not willing to challenge my own beliefs, assumptions, or convictions in hearing another’s story?

 

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9-4-22 - Prioritizing Our Passions

Prioritizing Our Passions

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

September 4, 2022

 

Job 37: 14-16

 

Hear this, Job.
        Pause where you are, and ponder the wonders of God.
Do you know how God orchestrates these marvels?
        How He makes the clouds flash with lightning?
Do you know how those same clouds are hung up in the sky or how they move?
        Do you know the wonders of God, who is perfect in His knowledge of such things?

 

Last week, I preached on the query, “What is your why?” and we also looked at the Japanese term, ikigai, which translated means “a reason for being.” I said the inspiration was Beth’s sermon the week prior on the difference between passion and obsessions.

 

I believe exploring our why is a first step in looking at our passions. This week, since we were supposed to be out in nature and in a different setting, I wanted us, like Job in our text, to be encouraged to “pause where we are and ponder the wonders of God” – and to realize the importance of getting a new perspective on helping us explore our passions, beliefs, and purposes.

 

Just being in the meditational woods (or an outdoor setting) can provide for us a new perspective, I hope sometime later this week you will get take the opportunity to step outside and ponder this message.    

 

Most of us at First Friends live in an urban environment instead of a rural one, and technology or our jobs keep us indoors most of the time. This means we are simply less healthy due to our withdrawal from the great outdoors. 

 

The good news is that by taking even the smallest steps (like reading a book on our patio, or taking a stroll around the local park, even worshiping outside once and a while) we can improve our body, mind, heart, and soul. 

Also, whether we’re the ‘outdoorsy type’ or not, nature has a lot to teach us about pursuing our greatest life, outside or otherwise.

 

I know for me, when I am stuck on a sermon, or some project I am working on, I head out and take a walk around my neighborhood. I don’t put my Airpods in my ears to listen to a book or music, and I turn off the ringer on my phone.

 

As I walk, I allow nature to speak to me. I allow my mind to be cleared, and seek to see things that I might not when just taking a walk.

 

I might watch the ducks in our pond or the majestic gray heron trying to catch a fish, sometimes I watch the playfulness of a squirrel or the slow pace of a turtle. I love to take in the cloud formations, the changing leaves, and even how the wind blows through the trees.

 

Different perspectives inspire me, offer me new opportunities, and even introduce me to new possibilities. Often after my walk, I can come back to my work with a new clarity and purpose. 

 

Also, during the summer we learn that what we choose to do on our off time or vacation, and what we think about while on holidays, indicates what we are passionate about in life. It often takes getting out of the routine of our lives and the spaces we frequent to see and experience new perspectives.

 

This is why as a family, Sue, me, and the boys have always loved road trips – short weekend ones or longer vacation road trips. When the stress of life, school, ministry, and teaching would get the best of us, Sue would often say, I think we need to get out of town.

 

In Oregon we lived about an hour from the coast. Often after church we would drive to the coast simply to walk the beach and watch the sunset before heading into a new week. I think that is one thing we miss the most from our time in Oregon. 

 

But we do similar things here when our weeks get stressful. For me, I like to take a break during my week and head out into our meditational woods. I love to sit and listen to the waterfall, the rustling of the trees, and watch all the wildlife.

 

On the weekends, Sue will research a place for us to go take a walk, this past week we drove to Zionsville to Starkey Nature Park and took a 2 mile walk through the beautiful woods and along the river.

 

Nature or the wilderness clears our minds, get us off our phones, and reconnects us with our breathing and listening – and it also encourages us to remember our purpose and rejuvenate our passions.   

 

What I have found is that when we are relaxed, in new surroundings, or observing life from a different perspective, we find that many of our interests and dreams easily surface. Some of Sue and my best conversations, decisions, even plans have come during road trips or walks in nature. 

 

A few months ago, Eric Baker started a group that does “walk and talk meet ups.”  They take walks in green spaces specifically to dialogue and discuss current issues. There is a beautiful connection to nature and working through our struggles.

 

All this kind of reminds me of things we see happening in the bible. Take for example the biblical character of Moses. He had a passion for helping the suffering Hebrew people, but to accomplish his passions he first had to spend time in the desert where God would get him ready to go to their rescue. God thought Moses needed a different perspective to be the most effective. 

 

As well, the Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness where he was challenged to hone his passions and establish his purposes. When he came out of the wilderness, he began preaching and teaching his message of hope.

 

This morning, I was hoping to be out in nature, and getting a different perspective just by being out there, but that may have to come later.  Let’s be flexible this morning and continue the following exercise I had planned.   

 

We started last week in looking at our why or ikigai, and this week, I want to challenge us to take some more time in doing what is called “passion-prioritizing.” 

 

Beliefnet.com offered the following exercise that has helped me, and I would like to share it with you this morning. 

 

Beliefnet.com believes the end-of-summer is the perfect time to get our passions in order. Warm weather makes us either wilt in the heat or chase after every dream we ever had because the back-to-business seriousness of fall and winter are coming.

  

So here is the exercise. (Take out the green insert in your bulletin,)

 

1.     Start by making a list of your current passions. 

One might be a hobby.

One might be a relationship.

One might be a dream.  

 

2.     Next to each passion, write down whether or not you think you have to suffer for it. 

Are your fingers nicked from failed attempts to accomplish a perfectly julienned carrot? 

Does your significant other drive you crazy? 

Are you wrestling with the title for the short story you’ve been sweating over?  

 

3.     Ask yourself if each passion is worth it. 

Looking at your list, are there any that no longer give you that spark of excitement, curiosity, drive, and life force that they once did? 

 

Passions that once consumed us might suddenly no longer rank. That’s ok, letting go of an old passion can free you up for a new one.

 

I’m curious to know what’s left on your list, and why you still endure your passions. Or, do you disagree with the notion of passion’s inherent connection with suffering? 

 

Are your passions more purely joyful than deliciously difficult? 

 

These are some good queries for us to ponder this morning.

So, as we head into waiting worship, take this time to gain a new perspective. Take this time to answer the queries I just posed and see what passions arise in your hearts and which you may want to let go.

 

If you feel led to share or God puts something on your heart for the Meeting, please step up to one of the microphones at the front or back of the Meetinghouse.

 

Let’s take this time this morning.

 

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8-28-22 - What Is Your Why? Ikigai

 

What Is Your Why? Ikigai

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

August 28, 2022

 

Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections. The scripture passage for this morning is a short one – again it is one of the proverbs from the Old Testament, Proverbs 20:5 from the New Revised Standard Version.

 

The purposes in the human mind are like deep water,

    but the intelligent will draw them out.

 

A few weeks ago now, I preached on the query that Gene Siskel gave Oprah Winfrey in 1998 – What do you know for sure? And we have had a great deal of rich conversation and dialogue around that query. It has really spoken to the condition of some in our meeting and I personally have benefit from the ongoing exploration with you. 

 

Today, I want to introduce another query that I have heard a great deal, lately. It was prompted by Beth Henrick’s excellent message last week on the difference between passion and obsession. As Beth talked about St. Francis’ passion I began to wonder, “How St. Francis would answer this query?” But better yet, I think we all need to ask this query of ourselves to really know where our beliefs, values, passions, and purpose come from. 

 

So, let’s ponder the following query this morning – What is your why?  

 

Maybe grab a pencil or pen and write that down on a piece of paper this morning - What is your why?

 

In Japanese they have a term for this query. It is the term “ikigai” (yes, that sounds strange, but that is how it is said) – which translated means “a reason for being” and is anything that gives a deep sense of purpose to a person’s life and makes it worthwhile. It could be considered what you get up for every morning.

 

I first was introduced to ikigai by Rob Bell in his book, “How to Be Here” where he says, “Your ikigai is a work in progress because you are a work in progress. Knowing your ikigai, then, takes patience and insight, and courage, and honesty.”

 

Someone once suggested that we can begin to explore our why or ikigai, by going back and looking at our favorite movies when we were kids. What was your favorite movie as a kid?

 

I know for me, I liked Star Wars and still do, but one of my all-time favorite movies while I was in high school was the 1987 hit, “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” starring Steve Martin and the late John Candy. Some consider it the quintessential Thanksgiving movie. I know in the Henry household we watch it almost everything Thanksgiving.

 

During high school, my friend Rob and I loved this movie so much we wrote out the script and had most of the lines memorized after hundreds of viewings.

 

Looking back, today, I find it almost weird that this movie captured us, because there is very little a high schooler should relate to or even be drawn in by this movie. 

 

Just listen to the description on Google:

 

Easily excitable Neal Page (played by Steve Martin) is somewhat of a control freak. Trying to get home to Chicago to spend Thanksgiving with his wife and kids, his flight is rerouted to a distant city in Kansas because of a freak snowstorm, and his sanity begins to fray. Worse yet, he is forced to bunk up with talkative Del Griffith (played by John Candy), whom he finds extremely annoying. Together they must overcome the insanity of holiday travel to reach their intended destination.

 

That same year was the The Lost Boys, Dirty Dancing, Princess Bride, Adventures in Babysitting, Robocop, and so many more, but somehow, I gravitated to a humorous story about two middle-aged men trying to get home for the holidays. 

 

As our kids were being raised, I took some years off from watching Planes, Trains and Automobiles, but when I thought they were old enough to enjoy the movie, I shared it with them as almost a rite of passage. We laughed together through the “Those aren’t pillows” and “You’re going the wrong way – how do they know which way were going?” scenes just like I did throughout high school. 

 

But then came the end of the movie where Neal Page has finally rid himself of Del Griffith and is headed home to celebrate Thanksgiving with his wife and kids. As he sits looking exhausted on the L-train in Chicago from his crazy road trip from hell with Del, he begins to put the pieces together and realizes Del Griffith was actually a homeless man, whose wife had died a long time ago, and he had no home to go to for Thanksgiving.

 

In coming to this realization, Neal’s heart changes and he takes the train back to where he left Del, only to find him sitting there alone in the station. Neal proceeds to take Del home to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family.   

 

As I was watching the movie with my boys, I began to cry almost uncontrollably. Not once had I ever cried while watching this movie in high school, except maybe tears of laughter. Yet, I sense somewhere deep down, when I was watching that movie with my friend in high school and with my family later on, I had actually been connecting to my “why” all along.  

 

Maybe ask yourself this week - What was my favorite movie growing up? And what might it be saying about my “why”?

 

Now, I am sure looking at the movies isn’t all we will need to do to find our “why.”  We might also want to ask ourselves some more queries. Like, Why do I do the things I do, in my work (or retirement) and in my personal life?

 

I’ll be the first to admit it. For just over a decade of my adult life, I didn’t really stop to think much about why I did what I did. In ministry it seems almost a given.

 

Yet, I was also often in survival mode as is the reality for those in ministry trying to raise a family. Although I have enjoyed many things about my life and ministry, I was kind of living, on many occasions, on autopilot and never really taking the time to stop and reflect on what the point of all of it was.

 

That is why several years ago, I began going on personal retreats (weekend or week-long retreats) where I often work through some queries that both remind me and challenge me to get to the “why” behind my passions. Sometimes I need to be reminded and sometimes I need to learn new reasons and new aspects of my “why” to keep me going. 

 

Take for instance, last year, on my personal retreat I explored my “why” by looking at my doubt – something that for many pastors is almost a forbidden subject. On the second day of my week-long retreat, I began to dig deeper, I wrote in my journey the following query:

 

Who am I without God, without Jesus, without the Holy Spirit, without Christian faith? Would there be a recognizable me left if I lost my faith?

 

For the next four days I wrestled with the very core of “What is my why?” I came away both challenged, inspired, and renewed. 

 

I think Howard Thurman said it so well. He said, “Cultivate the discipline of listening to the sound of the genuine in yourself.”  We all need to listen to what is genuinely us – not what someone else put in there for us, or that our environment has produced.

 

As I dedicated time cultivating that discipline of listening deeply to my own soul in that personal retreat, I found myself where Brian McLaren says doubt leads us: to the crossroads of bitter and better. This is a crossroad where I must make some personal choices. Where I choose whether my “why” will be shaped by breakthrough or break down, love or despair, being hollow or holy, and by choosing to listen to cynics or sages.    

 

I would be more than willing to share more of this discovery with any of you over lunch some time – or you might want to pick up Brian McLaren’s book, “Faith after Doubt.” I highly recommend it. 

 

But let’s get back to the present moment, without going on a retreat, how can we begin to explore “What is our why?” right now? 

 

Leadership Coach, Sarah Kreischer says we can start by honestly exploring these queries (they are on the back of your bulletin),

 

·       Why do you do what you do? And why is that important to you?

·       Why do you get out of bed every day?

·       What do you believe at your very core?

·       What is the one reason you keep coming back to, regardless of what you’re doing or how you’re doing it?

 

She then says, “When you think about the answers to these questions, which answer makes you feel most alive? Which answer would you be the most excited to share with someone else?”

 

Again, it sounds a lot like Howard Thurman when he said, “Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

 

A few years ago, as I was doing research for a sermon, I came across a lecture on the number of questions Jesus asked in the Bible. Did you know that there are 339 questions of Jesus recorded in scripture. 

 

In Matthew Jesus asked 109 questions.

In Mark Jesus asked 68 questions.

In Luke Jesus asked 107 questions.

And in John Jesus asked 55 questions. 

 

That totals 339 questions in all.

 

I believe that Jesus knew that asking questions was not only a far more effective way to connect and engage with people, but it was a better way to help them discover their purpose, to help them come to their own conclusions, to make their own decisions, and find their “why” - than it ever would be to simply tell them what to do and why to do it!

 

Or as Kerry Dearborn, a professor emerita of theology at Seattle Pacific University said,

“I’m convinced Jesus used questions and stories as a means of connection and transformation — to awaken us, to whet our appetites, to invite us to draw nearer, that we might open up more fully to God and to God’s purposes in and for us.”

 

As we explore “What is our why? May it awaken us, whet our appetites, and invite us closer to the God of the Universe and to one another. 

 

Now, as we enter waiting worship, I ask you to return to those queries I read earlier.

 

·       Why do you do what you do? And why is that important to you?

·       Why do you get out of bed every day?

·       What do you believe at your very core?

·       What is the one reason you keep coming back to, regardless of what you’re doing or how you’re doing it?

 

 

 

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8-21-22 - Passion or Obsession - What Is the Difference?

Passion or Obsession – What is the Difference?

A Pilgrimage to Eternity

Timothy Egan

 

Sermon 08-21-22 by Beth Henricks

 

Our scripture reading this morning is Matthew 23:13-15 NRSV – from the teachings of Jesus 

“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you lock people out of the kingdom of heaven. For you do not go in yourselves, and when others are going in, you stop them. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cross sea and land to make a single convert, and you make the new convert twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.

 

I looked up the word passion in the Merriam dictionary this week as I have always had a strong attachment to this word and how it plays out in our lives.  There are a few definitions –

 

A strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object or concept, an object of desire or deep interest, ardent affection, sexual desire, emotional, an outbreak of anger (like a crime of passion) the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces and when capitalized means the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death.  Wow, I never thought about the diversity of how this word has come to be used in our culture. 

 

I’ve always thought of passion as an energy force that gets one excited, gets one motivated to do something and comes from the heart.  When I was younger, I thought more about passion between two people that were falling in love.  It seems like everything the other person does is wonderful, and our passion feels intense and deep.  As couples age together the intensity of that passion might dwindle a bit but in the best of relationships the passion might manifest itself more in acts of service and devotion to the other person. 

 

The passion that Jesus had for humanity connects with many of these definitions.  Jesus desire for each of us to be whole and healthy, loving ourselves and our neighbors and enemies.  He was willing to sacrifice his life out his passion for us and showing us a different way to respond to oppression and violence.  I think Jesus was the ultimate passionate person in his devotion, his ardent affection, his deep and abiding love for us. 

 

I started thinking about the difference between passion and obsession as I have been reading the book by Tim Egan, A Pilgrimage to Eternity ( a borrowed and recommended book by Phil Goodchild).  It’s been a fascinating journey that Tim recorded over a number of months on his physical and spiritual pilgrimage along the Via Francigena, (Fransigena) once the major medieval trail leading the devout from Canterbury England through small towns in France, Switzerland and Italy to finally make it to Rome.  Many have walked this path or a part of this path for the last 800 years.

 

Egan shares a chapter as he enters the monastery that St Francis founded above San Miniato in Italy about eight hundred years ago.   Most of us have heard something about St Francis and are familiar with his prayer –

 

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

 

We might know a bit of his story and it is quite a story.  Francis was born into a well to do family in 1182 in Italy.   He would have a comfortable life  to follow in the footsteps  of his successful merchant father. Francis in his 20’s was quite the wild man and would party all-night, sleep-in till noon, and wanted to be a knight.   Probably typical of most 20 something young people back in the 13th century.  To prove himself, he goes to war against his neighboring town of Perugia.  He was not successful and was beaten, captured and sent to a dungeon and was only released because his father had the money to pay his ransom.   When he returns home, he still wants to be a warrior, but this experience has changed him.  He becomes depressed and yet joins other Christians traveling to the Holy Land as the Pope promised absolution for any participation in war.  On his first night on the trip Francis had a dramatic dream that he can’t dismiss.  The next day he meets a leper on the road that is a person living in the shadows.  He gets off his horse and grabs the man’s hand and kisses him because he is so moved.  This encounter changes his life.   He is incredibly taken by the encounter and begins to fast and pray.  He heard Christ SAY TO HIM, ‘”repair my church, it’s broken, corrupt, run by charlatans and hypocrites.” Francis goes home to tell his father of his mystical experience and his desire to shed himself of all outward trappings of wealth and privilege and to serve the poor and oppressed.  His father is not happy and in fact tries to force him to remain at home, but Francis knows his calling and takes off  with no possessions, no status, no home and yet this is when his depression lifted.  Townspeople thought he was crazy, he lived in a cave, begged for his food, sang with the birds, and had a joyous spirit.  He once said, “It is not fitting, when one is in God’s service, to have a gloomy face or a chilling look.”    Francis began attracting followers to this way of life and he and other travelers traveled to the Pope to ask if they could establish a new religious order. The Pope informally granted them approval and established the Franciscan order in Italy.  These converts lived simply, had no possessions, offered help to the poor and oppressed and shared the message of Jesus.  Francis became more well known throughout Italy as time went on. 

 

During these times, the Pope and the Church were persecuting heretics, Jews and looking for new war with Islam.  Francis goes to visit the Pope and convinces him over a 7-year period to allow him to travel to meet with the Sultan of Egypt offering an alternative to killing each other.  They listen to each other and learn about their respective religions, their shared religious history, and each offers admiration of  certain things about the others religion.  The experience had Francis urging his followers to open their hearts to those that his pope wants to hate and kill. 

 

Francis attracted more and more followers and within 10 years of his death at age 45 there were 5,000 Franciscans.  While the Franciscans wanted reform of their church, they never left the church but tried to influence it from within.  Today, we all know St Francis, the Franciscan religious order is the largest one in the Catholic church and St Francis is embraced by people of faith trying to live by his words, “preach the Gospel at all times.  When necessary, use woods.”

 

As our author continued his travels along the Via Francigena, he came upon the town of Florence.  Some of you have been to Florence to see the statute of David, many other beautiful statutes, frescos, paintings, and all sorts of art.  It has come to be known as the city of art.  But in 1482 a devout man of God by the name of Girolamo Savonarola came to Florence.  His background was very similar to St Francis.  He came from a privileged home and denounced his wealth and position and entered a life of self-denial and devotion to the Catholic Church.  Like Francis, his family denounced him, and he slept on a hard surface in a cold room.  Both of them saw the excesses of the Catholic church and wanted reform.  But when Savonarola became the abbot at the San Marco monastery outside of Florence, he became obsessed with the literature and art that Florence was enjoying.  He thought it was pagan, evil, sensual, and exuberant.  He focused on the darkest parts of the book of Revelation and thought the people wicked and God would soon punish them.  He said, “I am the hailstorm that shall smash the head of those who do not take cover.”  He was hell bent on rooting out corruption and punishing those that did not follow God including leaders in the Catholic church.  During his time, the Church remained very corrupt, and Savonarola became angry and obsessed with destroying anyone who opposed him.  He denounced the wealthiest family in Europe the Medici family and when they had to flee the country Savonarola became the de facto ruler of Florence.  He had a youthful mob of people in service to theocracy, carrying out his vicious acts.  They went home to home confiscated art, literature, perfume, playing cards, musical instruments, fine clothes etc. and lit the Bonfire of the Vanities in 1497 in the main plaza of Florence.  He wanted Florence to become a “City of God”  Many were tortured and killed as heretics.

 

The next winter, crops were in short supply, money disappeared because there was no free trade and people grew hungry.  Another mob of the people turned on Savonarola, not understanding why God would do this to them when they had become the city of God.  They now went after Savonarola and his disciples, and had them arrested, tortured, and killed. 

 

Two men with similar backgrounds, devoted to the Gospel of Christ yet one allowed passion to turn into obsession and the other let his passion flourish and fly towards the Light.  How did Savonarola start out with such good intentions, searching for the divine end up a violent man that was swollen with his own sense of pride and power.   He just could not see God in poetry, art, music, and laughter.  It wasn’t about the Spirit for him it was about sin, punishment and believing the right thing. 

 

So here we have a man, St Francis that is as beloved today as 800 years ago.  His legacy is large and the path he showed us is one to follow into God’s love and light.  Then there is Girolamo Savonarola, who no one has ever heard of, has no legacy or following  and gave us an example of how devotion and self-denial to God can turn into an obsession with destructive consequences.   Egan makes this comparison in his book, “The dichotomy of these two men is the dichotomy of the Christian faith, one side struggling against the other, an open heart against a fist.”

 

We can see this play out today in our churches and denominations.   Adherence to right belief can go from passion to obsession.  Holding on to anything too tightly can turn something with energy, with purpose and with passion into something that is small minded, ugly, and not full of God’s light and love.  One of Francis’s core beliefs with his followers is that they were inferior to all and superior to none.  This is the staying power to Francis’s message – humility.   May we embrace this attitude of St Francis and live by this phrase from him “Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” That is where passion should live.  

 

 

As we enter our time of unprogrammed worship, I offer a few queries for contemplation  -

 

Have any of my passions become obsessions?

 

Do I live in humility and not hold my passions too tightly?

 

How do I more passionately follow the path of St Francis?

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8-7-22 - Valuing Education

Valuing Education

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

August 7, 2022

Welcome to Light Reflections, this week our scripture is one of the many proverbs in scripture.  It is from Proverbs 18 verse 15, and I am reading it from the Message Translation.

 

 Wise men and women are always learning,
    always listening for fresh insights.

 

This week, many of us are thinking about school – especially as most children, youth, teachers, educators, and administrators headed back to the classroom this week in Indy.  While I was growing up, the first day back always entailed a lot of anticipation, anxiety, stories of summer trips, and yes exhaustion from usually sleeping in until noon for the prior two months. 

Thinking back, most of my memories from the first days back to school are rather boring.  I remember having typical issues with my locker combination, going to the wrong classroom one time, and in jr. high deciding to wear way too much of my new school clothing on the first day of school and almost over heating since it was in the upper 80s and we had no air conditioning – but boy was I styling in my Coca-Cola long-sleeve shirt, jeans and new denim jacket on the last week of August in Indiana. (Most of high school our son, Lewis wore shorts, even when it was 23 degrees and snowing.)    

But not all First days of school are typical, let me read you some stories people shared from allmomdoes.com.   

“When my son started first grade, he forgot to get off the bus on his way home. When the bus driver finished his route, he asked him where he lived and he said he didn’t know!”

“My first day of kindergarten had been such a fun and exciting day, and I’d met a little boy who was my new friend. I was so wound up and excited on the way home on the bus that I threw up on him… In my favorite striped tights!”

“On my son’s first day of riding the school bus, he fell asleep and didn’t get off the bus! The bus went back to the garage! I called the school to let them know that he never got off the bus and the bus driver went to the back of the bus and found him sound asleep!”

“I remember my mom always telling me to wear underwear in case you got in an accident. So, when I started grade one or two I didn’t wear any and decided to play on the monkey bars! The teacher brought me in to ask me why I wasn’t wearing any and I told her that I didn’t want to get in an accident and miss school.”

As I was reading these stories, I was struck by a memory I had tried to forget from my first day of high school. The first day of high school is full of so many anxieties, but I was confidently going to take my new high school by storm. I dressed up for the first day as a freshmen, looked very preppy – as we said back then, had my backpack and tennis bag for practice after school, and was determined to get to my locker and hang out with some friends for a while before my first class.

But as I was heading in, I decided I better use the restroom before starting my day. Thinking on my feet, I chose to use the restroom across from the counseling services and the Vice Principal’s office since it would be low traffic.  I proceeded in and found it completely empty.  Never being in this restroom before, I was taken-a-back by the round trough-style urinal in the middle of the room (please note: I was completely unaware of the wall-style urinals on the wall directly behind me).  As I am taking care of business, the Vice Principal of all people comes in, gives me the weirdest look, and simply steps on the bar on the floor around what I thought was the round urinal and begins to wash his hands.

In my horror, I finished, looked around and realized there were no sinks. The Vice Principal smiled and said, “First Day of High School?” I answered “yep” and ran out as quick as possible.         

Now, let’s get a bit more serious. Education is vitally important in our world, today. It has always been vitally important to Quakers as well.

 

Even though Quakers would never say that education alone was sufficient to make anyone a minister (which we all are), it has always had an important role in the Society of Friends. 

 

In many ways, early Quakers were blazing a trail for providing education for all people. George Fox advised in his day that schools should be provided for both “girls and young maidens” as well as for boys, “in whatever things were civil and useful in the creation.”

 

William Penn also held and expressed at length advanced views on the importance of right methods and aims in the education of children.

 

Private Schools were opened in Pennsylvania as early as 1683, but with Penn’s work Friends opened public schools in Philadelphia as early as 1689 for all people, even girls, Native Americans, immigrants, and former slaves. They believed from the outset that schools could nurture ‘that of God’ in everyone and should therefore be available to all. 

 

But I would be remiss, if I did not say that not all schools had the intentions that Penn wanted, some became elitist, others became anything but public, and some were no different than the Native Boarding Schools Pope Francis has been asking forgiveness from among the Native Americans and Indigenous people of Canada. This was wrong, and we too must acknowledge our involvement.      

 

Yet, Penn’s original intentions and his public schools put Friends on the cutting edge of the development of educational opportunities and standards in the United States. Actually, the Quaker elementary and secondary schools in several states are still today considered the forerunners of the public school system. My wife, Sue, a public school teacher, often goes to conferences where she learns about the Quaker influence and foundations for Public Schools right here in Indiana.  

 

One of the reasons, I believe this is so important, not just because I am married to a public school teacher, is because education to Quakers was originally intended to be holistic, to teach critical thinking, to help people engage with the planet, their communities, their neighbors, and their experience with God.

 

For the last week, I have been putting together our Fall Sermon Series. While looking specifically at the set of queries offered to us in our Faith and Practice, I turned to a section titled, “Education.” I rarely quote from our Faith and Practice for multiple reasons, but this day, I was drawn to a quote under the sub-heading the “Aim of Education.”  It begins with this line from London Yearly Meeting in 1924:

 

The aim of education is the full and harmonious development of the

resources of the human spirit.

       

This sounds much like what Nobel Prize in Literature winner Rabindranath Tagore said almost the same year Quakers wrote that statement in London.  He said,

 

“The highest education is that which does not merely give us information

but makes our life in harmony with all existence.”

 

Let’s be honest, education is about way more than taking tests, getting degrees, and for that matter it is more than a vocation or even a career.  As the London Yearly Meeting concluded,

 

“The person whose mind is many sided has a special contribution to make to the solution of the complex personal and social problems of modern life.”

 

Now, obviously, we are a Meeting and not a public school, but I believe First Friends is dedicated to developing that “many sided mind” for the sake of our neighbors and world. 

 

From early on, the Quaker understanding of education has had some common characteristics that I believe we need to return to, embrace again, and even instill in our lives and in the lives of our children (and adults), today.

 

To become people with “many sided minds” that can contribute and make needed changes to the complex personal and social problems of current times, we need to be people who are willing to

 

Learn through inquiry – this begins with what I talked about last week in my sermon – asking ourselves and our neighbors queries that prompt us to go deeper and even wrestle with our beliefs. One of the best people I know at this is Beth Henricks, our associate pastor.  She is always asking questions in meetings and conversations.  Sometimes, it surprises me, but it always leads to more knowledge.

 

It also means being willing to learn new things – like our friend, Kent Farr who told us last week he ordered a text-book on dinosaurs.  You and I need to be continual learners, constantly asking questions, wanting to know what, when, how, and why, instead of blindly following people, especially politicians, authorities, yes, even your pastor. I know you don’t always agree with me, but when you don’t I hope you take the time to inquire about why? 

 

We also need to be people who learn through reflection.  This also has something to do with last week’s message. To reflectively learn means to take time to analyze your own beliefs and experiences. To test what you know and what you think you know. Taking time for reflection may happen through waiting worship, or through times of silence and solitude, retreats, even moments of pause.  I know for me; I like to turn off the car radio on occasion and reflect on my commute.  

 

As well, we need to learn through collaboration or working together. Often Quakerism can be seen as a very individualistic society. Yet, I believe our greatest learning opportunities arise when we interact and collaborate with people, especially those different than us – and let’s admit it – EVERYONE is different than us.

 

We all have differing views, beliefs, and experiences. Sure, we have similarities and at time stark contrasts, but when we take the time to really get to know our neighbors and fellow friends, things begin to change. It is part of that harmonious aspect Quakers sought. We must admit that part of the process of educating ourselves is being able to acknowledge our differences AND challenge one another to new possibilities.   

 

We also need to learn through service. As I was reflecting about my high school days this week, I also remembered all the service events I took part in during high school. From drywalling apartments in South Carolina for the Daughters of the Confederacy with my youth group after a hurricane destroyed their homes to building a playground at our church camp that still is standing today for families to enjoy. Each time we serve, make a meal for someone, drive someone to an appointment, clean the snow off someone’s driveway, serve at the food pantry, you name it, we learn something about ourselves and about others.       

 

This then leads to one of the most important aspects - building a culture of respect for all people. I continue to hear that America has lost its culture of respect and when I turn on the news and watch what is going on around me, it is hard not to agree. 

 

Yet, when I see something lost or missing in our world, my first response is we need to teach this again. This also I believe is the Quaker Way.

 

Building respect takes time, and as a society of friends we need to lead by example in our world, today.

 

To learn a culture of respect begins with being willing to, at the least, listening to one another.

 

And to grow that respect will also take learning to care for people and help them.

 

And as one of my mentors taught me – respect comes when you encourage people to be themselves instead of trying to change them into what you want.

 

Too often the church has done just that, and it has left us asking for forgiveness one too many times.   

 

I sense that if we committed to just those three things this week – listening, caring, and encouraging people to be themselves, we would begin to see the change needed in our world, today.

 

Let me stop there this week and let’s take some time to ponder how we can continue to educate ourselves and be an example to our world.  Ask yourself:  

 

What questions do I need to be asking about life?

When do I find time to pause and reflect?

Who could I work alongside and collaborate with? 

Who should I be serving, caring for, and helping?

And how am I helping create a culture of respect at First Friends, in my family, and in my community?

 

Let us ponder these queries as we enter waiting worship this morning.

 

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7-31-22 - To Have an Interrogative Soul

To Have an Interrogative Soul 

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry 

July 31, 2022

Psalm 26:2 (The Voice):  

Put me on trial and examine me, O Eternal One!    Search me through and through—from my deepest longings to every thought that crosses my mind.

Last Sunday morning, I was at home still feeling horrible from whatever bug I had caught at the Yearly Meeting Sessions. After joining the Zoom for morning worship, I decided to take a brief nap, since I had not slept much the night before. 

When I awoke, I did not feel like reading or writing, so I began flipping through the TV channels. Most Sundays, I do not watch TV around the noon hour - because I do not get home until 2 or 3pm after worship, fellowship, and lunch.  

Soon I came across the OWN Channel and airing that morning was a Special Super Soul Sunday hosted by Oprah Winfrey. On many occasions I have watched Super Soul Sunday where Oprah has interviewed many of the people, I have found helpful in my own spiritual journey – from Richard Rohr and Rob Bell to Elizabeth Gilbert and Marianne Williamson.  This special, last Sunday was a “Best Of” show based around a set of queries Oprah asks each of her guests.  

I found the Super Soul Sunday special almost Quakerly in nature because of its focus on queries. Listening to different people respond about everything from what sustains them during difficult times, to what it means to be spiritual. Close to the end of the special, after many great answers and deep thoughts from some of the greatest thinkers today were shared, Oprah revealed a query that she once received that literally altered her world. A query that she said stopped her in her tracks.  

The query was presented to Oprah at the end of a live television interview with the famous film critic, Gene Siskel. Most of us probably remember “At the Movies” with Siskel and Ebert where they would give their famous thumbs up and thumbs down sending movies on to box-office success or failure.  At the time, Oprah was concluding the live interview with Siskel about her upcoming movie, “Beloved,” when, to her surprise, he asked Oprah one last question. He said, “Tell me, what do you know for sure?”  

Oprah recalled that the question completely threw her.  She stumbled to answer it and even felt embarrassed on live television. She says she went home and for two full days could not stop pondering the query.  

What do you know for sure?

The Super Soul Sunday special I was watching took several minutes showing her guests wrestling with that query.  I quickly grabbed a piece of paper and wrote it down, “What do you know for sure?” For the rest of the afternoon, this query haunted me a bit.  

I found myself going back through the years and reminiscing about all that I thought I knew for sure yet through experience and maturity have learned I don’t know at all.  

I thought of all the things that the church I was raised in told me were for sure and how I don’t believe many of them anymore.  

I even thought of the things that people I once trusted said were for sure that I have found were simply lies. 

It was weird how a query that asks about what I know, has me quickly delving into the opposite and thinking about what all I really don’t know.  

I think this is the power of good query.  Probably the reason Quakers found them a central part of the Quaker Way.  My friend, author and fellow Quaker minister Phil Gulley wrote this about Quakers and queries in his book, “Living the Quaker Way.”  Phil says, 

“The queries are a series of self-directed questions we employ to evaluate our emotional, spiritual, and relational health. Some of the queries are centuries old, others of them newer, speaking to more modern concerns and insights. They vary from one yearly meeting to another, though there is often overlap. Some friends write personal queries to aid in their own development. Many Friends use them as a guide in worship and daily reflection. Ideally, they are read one at a time, in an unhurried manner, allowing the question posed to be absorbed and considered. I have known some Friends to keep a single query at the center of attention for an entire year, allowing it to gradually modify their behavior in a desired direction…

Phil then concludes by saying, 

“The point of the queries is simple: to encourage honest self-evaluation in light of our Quaker values and priorities. They focus scrutiny on ourselves and away from others. We do not use the queries to assess anyone’s life other than our own, casting light on those areas of our lives that we need to develop.”

For Oprah, that query presented to her by Gene Siskel became almost a life query – a query she has wrestled with for many years now and has continued to both ask herself and those she meets.  In each issue of her magazine “O” she has a column where she writes what she is discovering about this query. This one query even helped prompt her to start the Super Soul Sundays interviews where most times she asks her guests to answer, “What do you know for sure?”  

Did you know Oprah is following a tradition that goes back at least as far as Socrates and is considered the beginning of what we label critical thinking, today. Socrates had created a tradition to reflectively question common beliefs and explanations and include logic, reason, and experience in the process. Socrates maintained that for an individual to have a good life or a life that is worth living, they must be a critical questioner or must have an interrogative soul. I like that terminology – having an interrogative soul.  

This was clearly at the heart of the matriarch of Quakerism, Margaret Fell’s spiritual journey. Listen to these strong words she once uttered about having an interrogative soul: 

“Now, Friends, deal plainly with yourselves, and let the eternal Light search you, and try you, for the good of your souls. For this will deal plainly with you. It will rip you up, and lay you open, and make all manifest which lodges in you; the secret subtlety of the enemy of your souls, this eternal searcher and trier will make manifest. Therefore, all to this come, and by this be searched, and judged, and led and guided. For to this you must stand or fall.”

If you were wondering how long queries have been part of the Quaker faith, let me explain further. The first reference to queries among Quakers comes in George Fox’s journal in 1657. There he writes of queries that he posed to local professors and priests to challenge their spiritual insights. The first official recorded Quaker queries were used in the 1660’s as the Quaker movement began to be more organized: It was London Yearly Meeting that first used them to gauge the health of the Society and provide specific information about their leadings. 

365 years later, each week we still offer queries to help explore the depths of our souls.  

So, I ask you this morning some queries pertaining to this message: 

  • As Quakers do you and I have interrogative souls?  

  • Are we allowing the Spirit to use the queries presented to us to rip us up, lay us open, and make manifest what is truly in our souls?  

  • Are we utilizing the gifts we have been given to critically think or are we simply blindly following those in leadership before us? 

  • Do we spend more time scrutinizing others instead of first scrutinizing our own souls? 

For me, that query Gene Siskel presented to Oprah Winfrey, “What do you know for sure?” had me interrogating my soul. For the last week, it has ripped me up, laid me open, and made me manifest and tap the deeper aspects of my soul.  This one query has had me critically thinking more than I have in a while and it has challenged me to consider those I have been blindly following. And as I have begun to take the focus off what others are doing, or lacking, or misunderstanding, I am able to sense in a much deeper way the Spirit within me and how it is leading me to make difference in this world. 

I might unpack some of what I am learning from answering this query in the coming weeks, but until then, all I ask of you is to join me this morning in simply pondering that one query, “What do you know for sure?” and seeing where the Spirit leads you. Let us now enter a time of waiting worship where we allow the Spirit to interrogate our souls and bring Light to our conditions.  

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7-17-22 - To Nurture the Growth of Something Growing Within

To Nurture the Growth of Something Growing Within

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

July 17, 2022

 

Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections.  The scripture reading chosen for today is from Romans 8:22-28, the Message Version. 

 

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

 

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

 

 

If there is one thing I have noticed lately, which has seemingly become worse in our world, it is the lack of patience.  Most of the world seems simply reactionary these days.  I know I have been impatient on many occasions, especially as things in our world seem to spin out of control, but I am starting to recognize my condition needing more patient waiting.  

 

I think if the pandemic has taught us anything, it IS having to patiently wait on the outcome. Many struggled and continue to struggle with patience coming out of the pandemic. To think we waited over a year for a vaccine seems almost crazy in our instant society, yet, I think there is much more we can learn about patience that may even be supported and encouraged by our Quaker Faith. 

 

Just before the pandemic, Dr. Judith Orloff wrote an article entitled “The Power of Patience.” To me, it has been wisdom for our frustrated and impatient ways. I continue to come back to it both as a reminder and as a vision for hope. Here is a snip-it of what she had to say,

 

We need a new bumper sticker: FRUSTRATION HAPPENS. Every morning, noon, and night there are plenty of good reasons to be impatient. Another long line. Telemarketers. A goal isn’t materializing “fast enough.” People don’t do what they’re supposed to. Rejection. Disappointment. How to deal with it all? You can drive yourself crazy, behave irritably, feel victimized, or try to force an outcome--all self-defeating reactions that alienate others and bring out the worst in them, or, you can learn to transform frustration with patience.

 

Patience doesn’t mean passivity or resignation, but power. It’s an emotionally freeing practice of waiting, watching, and knowing when to act.

 

I want to give patience a twenty-first-century makeover, so you’ll appreciate its worth. Patience has gotten a bad rap for the wrong reasons.

 

Too many people, when you say, “Have patience,” it feels unreasonable and inhibiting, an unfair stalling of aspirations, some Victorian hang-up or hangover. Is this what you’re thinking?

 

Well, reconsider. I’m presenting patience as a form of compassion, a re-attuning to intuition, a way to emotionally redeem your center in a world filled with frustration.

 

I like what she is getting at, that when we look at patience as a difficult thing, or something to get over, patience becomes problematic instead of helpful.

 

Wouldn’t it be life-altering to look at patience as a form of compassion, a re-attuning to intuition, a way to emotionally redeem one’s center?  I sense it would be greatly beneficial, and I could see how it immediately would make a difference in our personal and corporate lives.

 

I don’t know about you, but what I believe Dr. Orloff is talking about seems very Quakerly in orientation and process.

 

Early Quakers were known to discover what they called a “third way” to respond to “the presence of darkness” within their own hearts and in the surrounding society. They wanted to find ways to move toward the Light. They also did not want to hide from the truth, nor wallow in their own issues.

 

Early Quakers clearly knew that playing the “blame game” was not going to help move them toward the light, so instead, they embraced “patient waiting,” to help them be more compassionate to their neighbors, to help re-focus themselves on seeking after truth, and to ultimately center themselves before making decisions.

 

If you notice, Dr. Orloff’s makeover is simply taking us back to our Quaker roots.   

 

In many religions, as well as Quakerism, darkness and light are the metaphors used to help one see the stark contrast of the good and bad parts of life and even the Divine. 

 

It still is being engrained in our culture, the number one series on Netflix, Stanger Things is all about two worlds of darkness and light.  And just as in the series, our “darkness" comes both from within and from without.

 

When working to acknowledge the “darkness” within and around us, the  frustration we sense, and the externals pressures of this world, waiting in patience is what Dr. Orloff says, “draws us inward to a greater wisdom….” It connects us to, what we Quakers call, our inner light and to how we are to respond to the world around us.

 

Thus, patience leads us to being enlightened, as well as learning how to take appropriate action.

 

Quaker Doug Gwyn says “Patience is an active condition of the Spirit... It can survive the long haul of transformation. But it is not fed on the bitter fruit of resentment.” 

 

Patience is the tool, or maybe the conduit to help our transformation and action to take shape.

 

Dr. Orloff adds, “…patience doesn’t make you a doormat or unable to set boundaries with people…Rather, it lets you intuit the situations to get a larger more loving view to determine right action.”

 

Thus, patience is what helps us love and act in ways that are beneficial to our community.

 

For the last couple months, I have been challenging myself to take moments of pause, to intentionally wait to respond to emails, texts, and phone messages, and instead of quickly responding allowing myself to think through things before answering.  I am sure it has bothered other people as much as it has bothered me on occasion.

 

I will be honest, this is not easy for me, personally – especially since I like to process out loud and dialogue about things in the moment.

 

It continues to be a discipline for me to seek patience, first. I know this is true for others as well. Often as I am meeting with members or attenders, we land on discussing impatient behaviors and the negative impacts or “darkness” impatience is creating in their lives.

 

Often it takes some queries to help explore in more depth our struggle. Maybe you too can take a moment this morning and consider these queries – ask youself: 

 

●       In what sort of situations do I find myself most impatient?

●       Why am I impatient, and how do I deal with my impatience?

●       What groups, people, organizations, etc. cause me to be impatient? 

 

I believe these queries begin our journey into what those early Quakers considered the “darkness” within and around us.  When we start to address this “darkness,” this frustration that seems to grip us, the external pressures that we, our work, our families, our politics, our media, our surrounding world put on us, we begin to notice the impatience that is or has been growing within and around us.

 

When we begin to practice patient waiting… 

 

●       We become aware of the lack of compassion we have shown to our neighbors and their situations (as well as the lack of compassion for ourselves).

●       We notice our “short fuses” and where we have become irritated by little things.  

●       We notice where we are no longer as intuitive and willing to try and reason or understand or work to see what is actually going on, or take time to understand the back story.

●       Or where we are quick to make assumptions and think our views are the right and only ways.

 

●       And then as part of our struggle and impatience, we begin to notice where we lose control of our emotions, where we go inward in negative ways, and where we even become inwardly depressed emotionally or outwardly reactive emotionally.

 

Folks, there are many ways we express our struggle since we are all so unique in our makeup.

 

Henri Nouwen seems to sum it up well, when asked to define a patient person he explained:

 

"A waiting person is a patient person. The word 'patience' implies the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us. Patient living means to live actively in the present and wait there. Impatient people expect the real thing to happen somewhere else, and therefore they want to get away from the present situation and go elsewhere. For them the moment is empty. But patient people dare to stay where they are. Waiting, then, is not passive. It involves nurturing the growth of something growing within."

 

I love how Eugene Peterson translated the scripture text for this morning. He articulates well Nouwen’s “nurturing the growth of something growing within.” It  reads,

 

“That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.”

 

May that be true for us as we practice patient waiting this morning and this week.

 

Now, as we enter a time of patient waiting worship, I want us to take some time to center down and return to those queries I shared. Allow me to repeat them for us, now:

 

●       In what sort of situations do I find myself most impatient?

●       Why am I impatient, and how do I deal with my impatience?

●       What groups, people, organizations, etc. cause me to be impatient? 

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