8-22-21 - Generosity or Scarcity – Where Do We Live?

Matthew 6:19-21 NRSV version

Beth Henricks

August 22, 2021

19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Friends, I gave a message to Whittier Friends last Sunday by zoom (the benefits of virtual connection) and Bob asked me to share a modified version of this message today as I examined my spiritual journey trying to live more fully from a place of generosity versus scarcity and how I am trying to live out my spiritual transformation in the world for me.  This is a difficult journey as fear, shortages and inadequacies can dominate our being.  I have had several significant moments in my spiritual journey where I was challenged to trust God for my future. 

As I reflected on my spiritual journey as I prepared this message, I was thinking back to my religious upbringing.  As I have shared before, I was raised in a fundamentalist tradition, very devout and was at church 3 times a week.  I went to a Baptist high school and a conservative Christian college.  I was immersed in church, was told what to believe, read the Bible literally and all my doubts and questions were dismissed by the church teachers and leaders.  There were no women in paid leadership roles (only administrative assistants and those that worked with kids).   I had so many questions about our faith and the Bible.  I began a spiritual exploration in high school, and it has continued throughout my life.  That is how I found Quakerism.  It has been so important to my life and my spiritual journey.  The Quakers were accepting and embraced my questions when we first walked into First Friends doors 28 years ago.  I felt others journey alongside of me as I explored my belief system.  Nothing was off the table, and I felt safe and loved.  That is a feeling that spiritual seekers are longing for, and I believe Quakerism can give that space and should be bursting at the seams with new seekers.  Quakers also provide opportunities through wonderful organizations like RSWR, QVS, FCNL and others to put our spiritual transformation into action as we are led. These organizations operate with integrity, transparency and spirit led stewardship.  They are making a difference in our country and our world.

Another reason for my passion for Quakerism is the role of women in our leadership and throughout our history.  Margaret Fell, Dorothy White, Elizabeth Bathurst, Rebeckah Travers, Lucretia Mott and many others were prominent leaders and teachers and writers for our faith tradition.  We should all look up their writings and their life to consider what they wrote about the faith.  One of my personal heroes in our quaker tradition is Lucretia Mott.  She was an incredible woman that spent her time and energy advocating for women’s rights and blacks’ rights.  It’s hard to adequately describe her impact on the movement.  She gave so much of herself even as she was raising a number of children.  She was also an incredible hostess welcoming many into her home to spend the night and prepare a delicious meal.  She was a model of hospitality and generosity in all parts of her life.  She lived within the example of Jesus. 

Quakers have a grand history, but we aren’t bursting at the seams – we are in decline in the United States.  I think we sometimes lack generosity in our hospitality and embrace of newcomers.  It is important that Quakers practice an extravagant hospitality and not welcome folks from a place of  insider language and a scarcity mentality.  We need to be generous in our hospitality, our welcome, our understanding.  I have seen Quakers be small and restrictive in their standards of simplicity and might make an outsider feel unwelcome because they don’t ascribe to a perceived standard of simplicity or peace or any of the other testimonies. As our beloved Quaker Rufus Jones wrote in 1940, there is no fixed standard of simplicity,

What is very simple for one person often seems

Very complex and extravagant for another person.

There is no known calculus of simplicity.

 I love this statement from North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative), written in 1983 about simplicity.   Simplicity does not mean drabness or narrowness but is essentially positive, being the capacity for selectivity in one who holds attention on the goal.  Thus, simplicity is an appreciation of all that is helpful towards living as children of the Living God.

The question for each of us is how we are extravagant in our welcome, our hospitality, our tangible means of providing largesse.  We should welcome others with all our selves. An example of this occurred five years ago when a young man showed up at our door. He was desperate, about to be evicted, going through a divorce, had lost his job and was struggling.  We talked for several hours in the parlor and he asked if we could pay his rent to prevent him from losing his apartment.  His only connection with Quakers was from a number of years ago when he was choir director at a Friends Church in Muncie.  He was desperate and humble about his situation.  It’s difficult to discern the right response.  I have heard many stories from people over the year that have a need and trying to decide if the person’s situation is real and deserving of our support is not easy.  In this situation God’s voice spoke to me and encouraged generosity to this young man.  First Friends paid his rent.

I heard from this young man a couple of times after that but then lost track of him.  Often our generosity does not know an outcome and that is ok.  However, last month, this young man made a contribution doubling the amount we gave him five years ago.  He called me and said that moment of generosity helped turn his life around and he is thriving.  He will never forget First Friends generosity and the way we supported him without judgement or shame.

The greatest example for generosity, hospitality and embrace of all is Jesus.  I read the Gospels as my guiding Light (as many early quakers did).  Jesus showed the way to the most dramatic sense of generousity and faith for the future.  He called twelve men to leave their jobs, their families, their stable future to follow him in a radical new way of love, hospitality, generosity.  He didn’t worry about where he was going to stay the next night, gave up all his possessions and had complete trust in God’s leadings.  He welcomed the lowest of society at the time into his presence and his hospitality and generosity was magnanimous. And the disciple that understood him best was Mary Magdalene. He broke all bounds of tradition.  How do I live into this example?

Jesus knew what generosity was all about.  He taught in Mark 12:38-44 that the Scribes (the religious leaders of the time) walked around in their fancy robes, were greeted with respect in the public marketplace, had the best seats in the synagogue, the most influence over money matters and were held in honor.  Yet these leaders were devouring widows homes and saying long prayers to show off to others.  Jesus said they will receive the greater condemnation.  Jesus then shared the story of the widow.  “A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny.  Then he called his disciples and said to them, Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury.  For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”  This widow gave out of a place of abundance and trust and not from scarcity and fear.   

I believe one of my pivotal moments  was about 13 years ago that I started to shift my thinking.  I decided I didn’t want to give a small amount of money to a lot of different organizations, rather I wanted to limit my contributions and make them more significant to organizations that I knew, understood, appreciated their governance, and connected with in a deeper way.  This journey began when Jim Cason from the Friends Committee on Legislation (FCNL) contacted me and asked me to serve as the clerk of the Capital Campaign that FCNL was preparing to launch.  I was shocked that they asked me to serve in this role as I was not qualified to do this.  I had never been on a capital campaign committee much less being its clerk.  I felt out of my league in this role, but FCNL put together a qualified and spirit led committee and the experience was amazing.  I met so many deeply spiritual Quakers from around the country and from various Quaker branches and my world of Quakerism began to expand beyond my Midwest connections.  The work we did was so grounded in the spirit and in worship.

Everyone on the committee was asked to consider their gift to the campaign.  FCNL utilized a seasoned Quaker development consultant to help with the campaign and I remember his discussion with me about my gift.  He suggested an amount that stunned me at its size.  This was not what I had been thinking at all.  I sat with this idea for several weeks listening to God’s voice and what God was calling me to give.  My biggest hesitancy was the fact that my husband was in the 3rd year of an Alzheimer’s diagnosis and as his condition declined, I had to bring in more care for him.  I was afraid that I could run out of money if this disease in him lasted for years.  Could I really give this significant gift for me considering an uncertain future with my husband?  I spent several days in intense prayer about what to do.  The voice I heard said, do you trust me or not?  Should you not make this decision from a place of generosity versus scarcity?  My hesitancy was because I feared an uncertain future.  But isn’t that the point of our relationship to the Divine?  God will journey with us through whatever our circumstances might be, and this was a moment in my life where my faith was tested and deepened through the experience.  I gave the amount the consultant suggested.

I am reflecting on my initial connection to an amazing organization Right sharing of World Resources.  It was Ann Panah that was leading a campaign to raise some money for RSWR, a number of years ago].  I knew very little about them and had been giving a small amount of money to Heifer International.  It was her leadership that had me investigate this organization more closely and I began to see this was a place that I could live out my spiritual transformation.  What a joy to host a lunch and auction off a quilt in Ann’s honor from her quilting group to support a women’s project in Kenya. 

What a blessing to have Amy Perry, Brad Jackson and others to take on the stamp ministry to raise money for RSWR.  This group is so faithful and so generous in giving their time and talents to trim and sell stamps to dealers.  

 Eleven years ago I agreed to join the board of RSWR and served them for 9 years, the last two as clerk.  It was an amazing experience.  One of the most important aspects to this for me was allowing my small world dealing with my husband’s dementia to be expanded.  Most of you know that my husband was diagnosed (probably suffered for a few years prior)  with Alzheimer’s in 2010.  Anyone that has dealt with a spouse with Alzheimer’s knows how small the world gets in dealing with their care.  For a couple of days two times a year, I was able to join other Friends to review and approve women’s projects in Kenya, India and Sierra Leone.  What a privilege to expand my horizons to be a small pebble in the ripple of power these women take in their communities.  How my world was expanded to be in relationship with these women through their project descriptions.  How this investment changes their lives, the lives of their families and their communities.  What a privilege to be part of this!  RSWR is important to me as they support women that can often be the most effective change agents in their communities.

RSWR is a place for me to live out the spiritual transformation I have experienced internally.  I know that there is so much trouble in our world and at times we can all feel paralyzed with all the issues we face and might become immobilized into doing nothing to change our world.  I have felt this despair at times and have come to a place where I must respond to what God is specifically calling to me.  I can’t impact so many ills in our world, but I can respond to God’s call and do what God lays on my heart. And I can’t let despair stop me from responding to God’s call to me. I am praying that each of us responds to God’s call on our hearts. 

The idea of generosity versus scarcity is present in our personal lives, our interactions with our communities and in our Meetings.  This concept can be about money, but it is more often about how we embrace others, welcome others, and give of our time to others and live out Quaker testimonies and Jesus’ commandments in our own world.

I heard an interesting story on NPR a few years ago about an observant Jew that was in a foreign country staying at a resident host.  This host had no idea of the guest’s dietary restrictions, and the host provided the guest with a special pork dish.  This dish was presented to the guest in a way of honor and the observant Jew needed to quickly decide what to do.  He had never allowed pork to cross his lips, as this was restricted by his faith.  But his host was offering this restricted food in a gesture of great generosity and hospitality.  The guest decided this trumped the restrictive restrictions of his faith concerning food and he ate the pork.   This feels to me like living in a space of generosity versus scarcity. 

As we enter our time of unprogrammed worship I share the following queries.

Queries

Where are we afraid of scarcity in our lives?

What does it mean to me to live in a spirit of generosity?

Where is God calling me to expand my giving of time and talents?

8-15-21 - The Art of Listening

The Art of Listening

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

August 15, 2021

Good morning and welcome to Light Reflections.  The scripture for today is from James 1:19-25 from the New Revised Standard Version.  

19 You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for your anger does not produce God’s righteousness. 21 Therefore rid yourselves of all sordidness and rank growth of wickedness, and welcome with meekness the implanted word that has the power to save your souls. 22 But be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves. 23 For if any are hearers of the word and not doers, they are like those who look at themselves] in a mirror; 24 for they look at themselves and, on going away, immediately forget what they were like. 25 But those who look into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevere, being not hearers who forget but doers who act—they will be blessed in their doing.

After openly sharing a couple of weeks ago my personal perspectives of the state of our Yearly Meeting and what I believe is going to be a key in changing our current trajectory, I found myself having some wonderful conversations with several of you. 

The stories, the struggles, the possibilities have begun to surface, and I am seeing a desire to continue this conversation through these First Day teachings.  

Just to review, two weeks ago I spoke of the transitions and movements that have taken place away from our original text leaving us with the loss of a common vocabulary. This then creating a void of new storytelling among Quakers.

Last week, I shared how this void has led to an “identity crisis” among Friends, another symptom of a lost common vocabulary and the need once again to “Let our live speak.”

During waiting worship last week for those at our in-person Meeting for Worship, Friend John Moorman brought up another very important aspect of this teaching which I had already planned to speak on this week – that being the importance of listening to each other.

I have never found “listening” to be an easy subject to address from the pulpit – or for that matter in any aspect of life.  My first thought goes to the challenges associated with teaching children or pets to listen – which often takes years of discipline, patience, and a commitment to continual teaching and re-teaching. 

So even though this one teaching will be woefully brief in comparison, I think it is absolutely necessary for the future of Quakerism and even for the future of our Meeting.

This is probably because, if we were honest, we all have had times when listening has been difficult.

It is much easier to tell our stories, give our perspectives, and explain our understandings and approaches while others listen to us wax eloquently in utter astonishment at our wisdom (I’m being sarcastic…to a point). 

Actually, our world offers classes on making one’s point, giving speeches, and even story-telling, but rarely do we find offerings for learning to listen better.

This week as I sat down to begin my week and check the emails that had piled up over the weekend, Good Morning America was on in the background, and a segment caught my attention.  It was in how the announcer introduced the segment that drew me in.  He said,

“You have heard of a library of books, but have your ever heard of a library of people?  In our next segment we are going to introduce you to a library made up of only real people.” 

I immediately stopped filing through my emails and turned up the television.  After the commercial break, I was introduced to The Human Library a not-for-profit learning platform that has hosted personal conversations designed to challenge stigma and stereotypes since 2000.

There concept is to create a space for dialogue where topics are discussed openly between, what they label “human books” and their “readers.”  If you want to learn about some of their “human books” you can go on their website, www.humanlibrary.org  and meet their collection of “books” – actually you can even become a “book” as well.

I quickly went to their site and found myself immersed in this concept.  I filed through their “card catalog” and I met several human books like “Alcoholic,” and “Convert” (because that seemed intriguing as a pastor), and then I met Unemployed.  For the next hour I was occupied by the stories of real people that minutes before I did not even know existed. 

At one of the Human Library’s in-person events you can choose to listen, interact and -- unlike a real book -- ask questions of these individuals – or “human books.” 

Each person or “human book” is a volunteer with personal experience with their specific topic.  So instead of going and searching for a book at the library – you go to a library, museum, festival, conference, school, university, or private setting to choose a real person to engage and learn from. 

Immediately, I understood why The Human Library considered their work a worldwide movement for social change.  In just an hour online, I was moved to tears and even wanting to experience something like this in Indianapolis. 

But as I did more research about the Human Library, I began to read about one of their biggest challenges – that being listening.  As they have continued to adapt this concept for a worldwide audience, they have had to begin teaching listening techniques and even offering pre-listening exercises to help people become more aware of how much they struggle with listening.

The Human Library has learned that if people are not trained to listen well, it will be a crutch or barrier for the greater work of learning to, as they say, “unjudge someone” and “not judge a book by its cover.” 

In my doctoral work, I spent some time researching listening in the Bible.  Our scripture text for today, always found its way to my studies because James was giving practical advice to the early followers of Christ. And what he describes is very similar to what the Human Library Movement has learned.  James stated it simply:

“..let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger…

 and welcome with meekness the implanted word that has the power to save your souls”

Interestingly, I found that James suggests that listening to others is a means of, as he says, “ridding ourselves of wickedness.”

As Quakers who believe there is that of God in others, we must acknowledge that when we are communicating with our neighbor – both sharing and listening – we may be hearing from the Divine through them – or as James refers to it – “welcoming with meekness the implanted word.”  

James goes even further and says that when we truly listen to our neighbors, we may even remove the anger and arrogance that keep us from following and hearing the Divine in our lives and the lives of our neighbor.  This makes listening to one another of utmost importance.

But let’s be honest…being quick to listen does not come easy.  Actually, listening may be difficult for many of us for a myriad of reasons. 

Ian Brownlee says there are 8 Principal Problems of Effective Listening – which I have been studying and considering in my own listening habits as well as the listening habits of those around me.  

Just take a moment to listen as I share these 8 Problems Brownlee identifies and see which ones are a barrier to listening for you.

Problem 1 is The Law of Closure

This happens when we are listening and begin to fill-in the “blanks” with information drawn from our own experiences so that we do not feel we have partial information.  It is the need to feel we have “all” of the information – even if it is wrong!  Yet sadly this can lead us to draw inappropriate or incorrect conclusions about what we are listening to and cause us to respond in a wrong way.

Problem 2 is the Law of Field.

Listening effectively means we stay focused on the person we are communicating with and concentrating on what they are saying (and NOT saying).  Sometimes we lose our focus by looking at our cell phones, or if our conversation is interrupted by someone, we no longer are able to listen effectively.

Problem 3 is Prejudice.

This can be conscious or subconscious prejudice. This may be related directly to the other person based on your previous experiences with them either directly or indirectly or based on the topic being discussed, the environment, or your emotional or physical state at the moment, or a myriad of other factors.  The key is staying aware of our prejudices and learning how to separate them from the person we are listening to. 

Problem 4 is Selective Listening.

This is when we come with our “own agenda” about how we are going to control the conversation in terms of topic(s), structure, duration, or preconceived ideas of how it will develop – instead of actually listening to the person speaking. This also means we tend to listen for what we WANT to hear instead of what is actually being said.

Problem 5 is Time.

To effectively listen, you need to be able to dedicate the time needed for the task.  If either party is in a hurry or crunched for time – the conversation will suffer.

Problem 6 is Logistical Structure or Congruence.

Most people tend to expect, and even look for, a logical sequence or structure to their communications.  If we believe “A” is true, and “B” is also true, then “C” and every following element must logically fit with the information preceding and following it.  If it doesn’t happen it creates an incongruence and leads to a block in the communication.

Problem 7 is Presuppositions or Going Beyond.

Some people extrapolate or in their mind go beyond what they hear instead of being contained by what the person actually says. 

Problem 8 is Questions.

As Quakers, we may understand this one the best, but not utilize it often enough when listening.  Asking questions periodically while listening can help clarify and help one gain a greater perspective on what the person is conveying – it also helps check to make sure you have heard correctly.

So, did any of those speak to your condition?  I know they did mine. 

They aren’t easy to identify sometimes, because we are too wrapped up with what we want to say, what we want to see happen, or what we think is right. 

Yet, if we are willing to listen, we may actually choose to change our perspectives, actions, or even what we believe. 

If anything, when we are willing to truly listen to each other, we at least begin to “rid ourselves of wickedness.”  The Greek word for wickedness in our text for today is kakia  which can be translated evil or wickedness but points specifically to the person who does this evil – or better yet the “evil doer.”  That makes those who don’t take the time to truly listen “evil-doers,” or as my commentary stated - people who desire injury. 

As a minister, listening to others and having people listen to me is crucial to my ministry. As a recorded and released minister among Friends, I was called to communicate what I believe the Spirit has led me to say – and I am very aware that not everyone wants to hear my perspective and that is fine. Even at times, some people feel it necessary to explain, to debate, or even expand what I have said to include things that I do not believe or have not said.    

Take for instance all the talk in our meeting about me not appreciating the organ.  I want to make it clear that I have never once said I want to get rid of our organ.  I have never said that I want to rip it out of the Meeting Room or even reduce its use.  I feel we have a wonderful balance of musical expressions at First Friends and am thankful for each of them. 

Even through all the difficulties of the pandemic, Eric and I worked hard to balance this out.  Yet in the last several weeks, I have had people tell me they have heard from others that I am anti-organ.  That is an outright lie and it comes from a lack of listening. 

As well, I want to dispel a couple of other rumors that I believe are simply a lack of listening.  I am not anti-Western Yearly Meeting or Quaker.  If you have heard that from someone or have come to believe it yourself, you have not heard what I have been saying and need to come to me for clarification. 

For over 10 months, I dedicated a lot of my personal time, during a pandemic, and on top of my duties as your pastor, to clerk the Leadership Search Committee in procuring a new Superintendent for Western Yearly Meeting.  I have served faithfully our Yearly Meeting, attended all our annual sessions for the past four years, and even at your asking was recorded among Western Yearly Meeting. If anything, I have been more committed to Western Yearly Meeting than many of my fellow pastors within it.

Do I want to see it change for the better and thrive, yes!  Does that mean I may talk openly about its difficulties and what part we play in making positive change? Yes! 

And in this same way, I want us to continue to change and thrive at First Friends!  We must not become stagnant and comfortable, or I believe we will simply dry up and wither away like many others around us have.  I do not want to see that. 

I believe strongly in the Quaker Way and that First Friends has a unique opportunity to make an impact on the greater Quaker World – If, and only if, we are willing to listen to one another.  

And no, if any of you think I am worried about being fired by First Friends for sharing honestly what the Spirit has led me to say (even if it is difficult, challenging, and not the most popular thing to say), that too is false. 

I have never once had the least bit worry of you removing me from this pulpit or from my ministry among Friends. I believe this to be a Divine Calling and sometimes that means I am going to be called to say difficult things, to challenge us to shift or change, to make us feel uncomfortable.

Folks, ministry is no easy task, but it becomes nearly impossible when people are unwilling to listen to each other.  And this goes for me as well – I too must constantly work on becoming a better listener for the benefit of our ministry and I am committed to doing just that.

I spend my entire week, every week, meeting with and listening to people (many of you), to my family, to my fellow pastors, to new people I meet for the very first time.  I work very hard on trying not to allow those eight problems of listening to get in my way, so that I can truly experience that of God in those around me.  And the reason being is I truly love each of you, want to hear your stories, and want you to know I believe we have something incredibly special that must not be ruined by a lack of listening. 

Folks, listening is a key factor in effective communication as well as effective ministry.  So, I ask you this morning…

Will you join me in this commitment to work on becoming better listeners? 

As we enter Waiting Worship, this morning, I pray these queries will challenge us all in our listening skills and for the betterment of our relationships as a gathered community of Friends.

1.     Am I quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become anger?

2.     In what areas of my life do I need to work on listening more and speaking less?

3.     Of the 8 Problems of Effective Listening, which one(s) do I struggle with the most?

8-8-21 - Let Your Life Tell the Story

Let Your Life Tell the Story

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

August 8, 2021

Good morning Friends and welcome to Light Reflections.  Our scripture passage for this morning is

Matthew 5:14-16 (The Message)

14-16 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

Last week, I spoke of the importance of Quakers sharing stories that transform life. To do that, I gave a brief history lesson about the transition Quakers have been making from our original sacred stories and our loss of a common vocabulary.  I also challenged us, with all our different backgrounds and religious journeys to return to sharing our stories so that we may, once again, find our common vocabulary to inspire, heal and transform a new generation of Friends.

Already, I have had some wonderful conversations with several of you and even  experienced some story sharing sessions this week that have proven the importance of this among Friends. 

So today, I would like to continue this teaching and expand these thoughts to help us see more clearly just why and how we might begin to make a difference through telling (or better yet - living) our stories.  

If I had to identify just one topic that I think perplexes Quakers it would have to be IDENTITY.

In almost every serious conversation I have had among my fellow Quaker pastors and leaders in my decade among Friends, at some point we have discussed Quaker Identity.  Often those conversations digress into a discussion about how Quakers are having or have been having an “identity crisis” – leaving us asking questions like, “Who are Quakers, today?” and “What is their distinctiveness in our world?”

History clearly shows us that the stories we tell have a lot to do with establishing our identity.

Just take for instance most religious faiths.  Each has a set of stories they use to establish their perspectives and understandings of what they believe and unite around.

I immediately think of our Hebrew or Jewish sisters and brothers and the importance of the Passover Story (which later becomes part of our story just reinterpreted by Jesus). 

If you remember, in the Torah, God commanded the Hebrew people to remember their story and continue to retell it so they would never forget their liberation. 

To this day, Hebrew people continue the tradition through the annual Seder Meal and many scholars believe this story alone to be a major factor in their survival as a religious faith. The Jewish people have suffered greatly throughout history, but they have been able to reinterpret this liberation story over and over to help them find hope as a people.

We too, have a plethora of stories we like to tell that help form our identity. From George Fox on Pendle Hill to Elizabeth Fry and her work in prisons, to John Woolman visiting the Native Americans, we tell, and re-tell these same stories to help remind us of our testimonies and our shared identity as Friends. 

I remember reading George Fox’s Journal for the first time.  Sadly, George was not that good of a writer, but that did not matter as much as how I connected with his story - both his mystical understanding of his relationship with the God-within, as well as his struggles and tensions within the Anglican Church (which I too was a part of and struggled to understand). 

But I will be honest, being raised in a much more orthodox Christian denomination that often downplayed or simply ignored the mystical side of faith made me struggle and even question George Fox’s experience and enlightenment.

I, along with many spiritual seekers today, needed more than mythical stories of the past – especially from dead people – to inspire and engage me. 

If it wasn’t for me having the opportunity to meet real-time Quakers who shared with me their current-day stories and lives, I probably would still be searching. 

I remember vividly the lunch I had with my mentor, professor, and Friend Carol Spencer.  As she shared her faith journey and understanding of the Quaker Faith with me, I began to see myself in her story. I related to her commitments and desire to teach a spirituality that embraced and honored “that of God in all people”.  She would later introduce me to Friend Colin Saxton.

Even though, at the time Colin was the Superintendent of the Northwest Yearly Meeting of Friends, he was also known for his work for peace and reconciliation both locally and globally.  The first time we met over breakfast – Colin and I shared our stories over several hours.  Again, I found myself being drawn in by his passion for, and willingness to not just know, but put into action, his Quaker beliefs, and perspectives.  Carole and Colin are Quakers who continue to let their lives speak what they believe.  

Ironically, it was George Fox himself who charged us to “Let our lives speak.”  Let our lives tell the story.

For that matter, even Jesus told the people of his day to let their lives speak.

And George had probably learned this from reading the life and ministry of Jesus within scripture. 

Listen again to the words of Jesus from our scriptures for this morning,

14-16 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

Yet, let’s be honest.  Too often instead of letting our lives speak, or tell the story, or light up our world, we rely on retelling the story of someone else, or debating the actions of someone else, and often never get around to letting OUR lives speak. 

Could this be why we have lost our impact in this world, because we spend too much time debating the stories of the past and not living the stories of today?  

It probably is easier to sit on a computer, or in a meeting, or even in the parking lot of the Meetinghouse discussing the stories and actions of people from our history, but how are you and I “bringing out the God-colors” in our world? 

What I find interesting is challenging people to name modern-day Quakers who are letting their lives speak? 

After I shared about Quaker Bayard Rustin and his impact on the American Civil Rights Movement a couple years ago at Yearly Meeting, I had someone mention to me how it is good to hear about the impact of more modern-day Quakers.

Later in the afternoon, I began to think about that comment…modern-day Quakers?  Bayard Rustin died in 1987.  I was just starting high school when he died 34 years ago.  And Rustin’s organizing of the March on Washington where Dr. King gave his now historic “I have a Dream” speech was back in 1963 -  ten years before I would ever be born.  That is not so much “modern-day” as I think of it.

The two era’s we Quakers most focus on when telling our stories is the 1650’s at our founding and 1960’s during the American Civil Rights Movement. Well, and then there was that brief embarrassment for Quakers in the 1970’s named Richard Nixon, but we will not talk anymore about that. Actually, I Googled “Modern-Day Quakers” and the only name that came up was Richard Nixon – again, he is dead and not the best example. 

Please don’t get me wrong – the stories of the past are important, sometimes foundational, even often helpful in correcting and fixing our mistakes, but when we fixate on them, worship them, or allow them to speak for us, we do not take the opportunity to heed God’s call and live our own stories today in real-time.

Instead, we get lazy or comfortable allowing other people’s stories to speak for us.  That means that that of God in us is silenced.  And that also means Quakerism  is silenced.

It seems clear why Quakerism is not a growing and thriving religious community overall – we have been caught telling the stories of the past while not living out new stories, today.    

What if, just for one year, each time we gathered at Yearly Meeting, or in our Local Meetings, or at any gathering of Friends, we committed to only share new stories of what God is doing in and through us?  I bet it would get those of us not living our stories to at least think or possibly engage.

And what if we didn’t only rely on telling stories from the past or other people’s stories, but rather committed to telling our stories through the way we live?  

Just maybe, as it said in our scripture for today, by opening up to others, we’ll prompt people to open up with God.

And before I close this teaching, I want to remind you of one more aspect of the phrase, “Letting your Life Speak” and that is allowing it to speak to you. 

Friend Phil Gulley wrote,

“It is about letting your life speak to you. You are the best expert on you.  Do you listen to your life?  Do you listen to your values, your passions, your principles? Let your life speak to you, because you are the best expert on you.”

So, this week, I want us to take some time to examine what our lives are speaking to those around us, as well as to ourselves.

Now, as we enter waiting worship, join me in pondering a couple of the queries I already presented:

1.     Do I spend too much time debating the stories of the past and not living the stories of today? 

2.     How am I “bringing out the God-colors” in our world? 

3.     What is my life speaking to those around me, as well as to myself?

8-1-21 - Sharing Stories That Transform Life

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

August 1, 2021

Good morning and welcome to Light Reflections.  This morning our centering text is from…

Ephesians 4:4-7 (Message).

You were all called to travel on the same road and in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and inwardly. You have one Master, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules over all, works through all, and is present in all. Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness. But that doesn’t mean you should all look and speak and act the same. 

Earlier this week, Beth sent me an email that included the following quote from Richard Rohr,

“Without the great stories that free us, we remain trapped in small cultural and private worlds. True transcendence frees us from the tyranny of I Am and the idolatry of We Are.”

I found this quote a summary of what I have been led to say this morning.

Every year after attending Yearly Meeting Sessions, I spend some time reflecting.  Often, I find a sense of frustration brewing in my mind that often spills over into my conversations. The main thing that consumes my thoughts is the wide range of differences, experiences, and beliefs among Quakers.

It amazes me that each year we gather from our various Meetings throughout mainly Indiana for business where a wide range of beliefs and experiences are on display. Some beliefs and experiences that clearly differ from mine, and from other Local Meetings within our Yearly Meeting. We often walk on eggshells trying hard to avoid engaging them, because we fear exclusion or simply seeming unkind, but they still are clearly present.

Often, Quakers claim that even if we have different beliefs, we all have the same underlying experiences in common, but the more I listen to our various Spiritual experiences, I realize this is just not true. 

Some Quakers find a special oneness with the natural world, others encounter the sacred in other people, some experience the presence and guidance of a personal God as described in the Bible, others describe visions and encounters with spiritual beings, and still, some find their deepest source of meaning in what I would call ethical principles or values.  It is a mixed bag of beliefs and spiritual experiences – no uniform or formulaic occurrence.

Now, some have a problem with this diversity of experience.  Some speak up and argue while others roll their eyes and stay silent.  Serving three different denominations in my lifetime, I can tell you this is not unique to Quakers. 

As a student of Spiritual Formation, I have come to understand that people’s spiritual experiences and beliefs depend on a wide range of factors – everything from their temperament, education, geographical location, family upbringing, and personal experience.

One thing that originally drew me to Quakerism was the diversity of religious understanding, opinion, experience, and the opportunity for people to ask questions and explore the factors that have created one’s faith.

Now, this is not how it has always been among Quakers. Friend Craig Barnett of Britain Yearly Meeting gives us some background that I think is important and helpful in understanding the change that has taken place.  He says,

Until the late 1960s the Quaker community as a whole shared a collection of sacred stories. They knew and used the stories of the Bible, including the life and sayings of Jesus, the creation story, the history of Israel, and the writings of the prophets and apostles, to explain the meaning and purpose of their community and its practices.

The first generation of Quakers called their movement ‘Primitive Christianity revived’; identifying themselves with the story of the early Church. George Fox drew on the Gospel stories in which Jesus promised to return at the end of history to claim that ‘Christ has come to teach his people himself’, in the form of the ‘Inward Christ’, within the lives and bodies of the ‘Children of the Light’. This made sense of Quaker worship as the way that the gathered community encounters the presence of Christ and expects to receive inspired ministry and guidance.

The distinctively Quaker versions of the Christian stories explained their Meetings for Church Affairs as discerning God’s purposes for the community. Quaker testimony was shaped by the Sermon on the Mount, which prohibits oaths, violence, empty ritual and religious hierarchy. Early Friends understood their testimony as the way that God was revealing the Divine intentions for the world through the Quaker community. 

Because Quakers had these stories in common, they shared a language for describing their experience. Quaker writings until about 50 years ago are filled with references to Biblical characters, parables, myths and symbols, which all carried shared meaning because of their resonance with familiar stories.

Yet listen carefully to what he says next…

Quakers used these stories and symbols in distinctive ways, which were often sharply at odds with official versions of Christianity. They were also given creative new interpretations, according to individual Friends’ differing perspectives and spiritual experiences. The use of these shared stories was not a sign that Quakers all had the same beliefs, but that they had a common vocabulary for expressing and interpreting their differences.

A lot has changed among Quakers since the late 1960s.  We live in a much more plural and secular America.  Quakers today, are much more diverse in the stories we use to make sense of the world.

It is clear as we sit in Yearly Meeting Sessions and listen to the different interpretations of the Bible that we no longer share a common vocabulary of Biblical stories.

Some Quakers have a high view of the Bible, while others find guidance from other sources, everything from Buddhist to humanist understandings, to many other traditions of thought.

One of the things I love about First Friends is that we are not afraid to use stories and ideas from many different sources to try to make sense of what we do, and to understand and describe our experiences.

Craig Barnett points out the difficulties this can create. He says,

Because we don’t share a common language that we can expect to be accessible to all, we rely on others trying to ‘translate’ whatever language we use into their own terms to understand what we are saying. But since we don’t know what concepts or stories others are using to ‘translate’ our words, it is difficult to know what, if anything, we have managed to communicate.

I believe this is why, every year I walk away from our Yearly Meeting Sessions so frustrated.  We have a communication problem at the core of who we are.

And one of the most important distinctives we must make is that having the same stories does not automatically mean we have the same beliefs. This is evident just by looking at all the varieties of Christian denominations in our world – which as of 2012 we had over 30,000 just Christian Denominations.

What we have to realize is that the stories that many of us embraced and used to translate our life situations have continued to evolve.  Today, every single religious denomination has many individuals sitting within their buildings believing a variety of things.  This is mainly due to the availability and accessibility of religious resources, the internet, and so many more opportunities for religious and spiritual education.

George Fox may not have been in favor of credentialed ministers, but with all that we continue to learn about our stories and the stories of other religious groups, education is becoming more and more essential. Again, causing more communication breakdown. 

Beth and I are extremely blessed that you respect our education and see it helping our community gain new perspectives, spiritual insights, and growth.

When I went through the Recording Process in Western Yearly Meeting, I had to read our Faith and Practice in detail.  Since I believe as Quakers originally taught that our Faith and Practice is a guide for our life and a fluid document that should continue to be questioned, I found poetic wording, beautifully crafted statements and queries, and some things that I completely disagreed with, or that time, further insight, and ongoing revelation has proven needs to be changed.

What I realized during the Recording Process was that the other pastors preparing for recording did not have the same shared stories or beliefs that I had – I wasn’t even sure that the Yearly Meeting I was being recorded within held the same shared stories.

I have come to realize we live in a culturally and spiritually diverse world, and that includes people with a variety of backgrounds, religions, and cultural influences and life experiences. 

That means we are all going to have different perspectives, interpretations, and experiences.

Personally, this may come as a shock to some of you, but I no longer rely solely on Christian stories or just the stories from the Bible to guide my life.

Don’t get me wrong – they are still very important to me, because they are part of my make-up, my heritage, and they are the stories that are the easiest for me to draw from.  But even many of these stories, I have learned to reinterpret or see from different perspectives.

And then there are all of those narratives that I was never taught growing up, the people groups I never encountered, the cultures I never explored, and yes, stories I had never heard, that if I let them, could speak to my condition and enhance my spiritual journey.  

So, as I have reflected this week, I have realized that if we are going to continue our Quaker legacy, we are going to have to stop avoiding sharing all of our stories, even if they are different, even if they are not solely what some label Christian or Biblical in nature.

We must acknowledge that we now live in a different world than our ancestors. We live in a culturally diverse society, and our community includes people from many different backgrounds, with all sorts of religious beliefs and stories – and if we are willing to listen to them they just may be beneficial for our evolving Quaker faith.  

What I realized as I pondered all of this was that we desperately need to start sharing our stories with each other once again – no matter how different they are. 

Not only could this help us create a new common vocabulary for a shared understanding, but it also could be a way to express and interpret our differences.

We can’t simply continue to reinterpret or tell stories from the past and expect everyone to relate – If we believe in ongoing revelation – we need ongoing story-telling of what God is up to in our lives, today! 

It is clear sitting in the Western Yearly Meeting room in Plainfield or on Zoom that we don’t really know each other or what God is doing in our midst, anymore. We have become out of touch and need to listen carefully to each other to renew our hope and learn to communicate once again.  

This is what I love about our Seeking Friends Class here at First Friends. I can only speak for the last four years that I have facilitated these classes, but in those four years I have listened as we have all taken turns sharing our stories, our interpretations, our spiritual journeys within Christianity, Quakerism, and outside of it as well.  My faith journey has been enriched and my understanding of the Quaker Way has grown and I know others have, as well.

Yes, we all have different backgrounds and religious experiences that have shaped us and somehow they have drawn us to be among Friends. I think it is far time we started to understand why.

This isn’t easy and it doesn’t happen overnight. Because what it means is we will be asked to be vulnerable and open our lives and faith journeys and struggles to each other.

Sadly, too often, we avoid this type of sharing within our Yearly Meeting because we fear being judged, rejected, or exposed by the stories we tell.  This makes it unsafe to tell our stories because they may be brushed aside or not valued, or simply rejected.  

I sense, we think it to be easier to gather each year and simply avoid the stories that need to be told and never get to know each other. But that is causing our demise.

As Craig Barnett warns,

The risk with continuing in this way is that we will steadily lose any shared tradition of religious practice. Without shared stories that describe the significance of core Quaker practices such as worship, discernment and testimony, the Quaker way cannot survive. It is a meaningless, indifferent universe, in which we can arbitrarily choose our own values but never find any inherent purpose or value. There is no truth to be discovered, only ‘personal truths’ to be asserted and projected onto the blank screen of the world. No purpose to our life beyond our own preferences, no guidance to be found, and nothing to heal or transform the world through us.

Folks, I am tired of coming home from Yearly Meeting sessions or Quaker Events wondering when we will again change the world as our Early Quaker Ancestors did. 

I have decided that it is not worth being silent, but that it IS worth being judged, rejected, and exposed.  Because if our stories truly speak to that of God within us and within our community, then no one can really discount that.  And whenever I am willing to be bold and share my experience, my story, my faith journey, someone benefits, Quakerism benefits, because communication is happening once again. 

My hope this year is that we will take time sharing our stories, our experiences, our journeys of faith, so that at First Friends and maybe within our Yearly Meeting as well, we will begin again to have a common vocabulary that will inspire, heal and transform a new generation of Friends!

Now, as we enter waiting worship, I ask you to take a moment to ponder the following queries..

1.     What are the stories that have shaped my understanding of my life as a Quaker?

2.     How might communicating my story help create better communication with those at First Friends and within our Yearly Meeting?

7-18-21 - Celebration Buttons

Celebration Buttons

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

July 18, 2021

Good morning Friends, I am so glad to be back with you this morning for Light Reflections. I have chosen two scripture passages for today. Our first is from

Deuteronomy 14:2 (The Message)

You only are a people holy to God, your God; God chose you out of all the people on Earth as his cherished personal treasure.

And also 1 Peter 2:9-10 (The Message)

9-10 But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.

For the past week in the evenings, I have been enjoying working through and editing the photos from our family’s celebratory vacation to Walt Disney World. It is so good to see the smiles, the child-like joy, and recall the fun memories we made on our vacation.

Not even the remnants of a hurricane with a Disney-esque name like Elsa could dampen our spirits.

What was clear was that our family had a lot to celebrate over the last 18 months and we all needed a place to let down our hair and let loose together – and we did!

If you have ever stayed at a Disney World Resort, one of the fun parts of the check-in procedure is when the cast member asks you the question, “Are you celebrating anything with us during your stay?” Depending on your answer you may receive one of four buttons.

·        One is the “1st Visit” button for those visiting Disney World for the first time.

·        Another is the “I’m Celebrating” button with a blank space to write what it is you are celebrating.

·        Another is a “Happy Birthday” Button

·        and lastly is the “Happily Ever After” Button for those celebrating an anniversary.

It even states on the Disney website that you are to wear the complementary buttons to generate “special attention” from the Cast Members as well as other guests. 

I remember on our boy’s first visit they wore buttons that said “1st Visit” and “Happy Birthday” since it was also close to their birthdays.  Every night at dinner they were treated to a birthday dessert and a mini party at our table, and cast members used the buttons to engage them throughout the park, make them feel special, and wish them a Happy Birthday. 

Sadly, our boys have grown out of that fun, but Sue and I have not.  You may have heard that we were to go to Disney World last year for our 25th Wedding Anniversary, but due to Covid our plans changed three times before having to completely reschedule for this year and turn it into a family vacation.

I am sure some of you are thinking Disney World may not be the best choice for a 25th Wedding Anniversary, but then you may not know the beginning of Sue and my married life together. 

Sue and I started our first year of married life in Orlando, Florida.  I was on an internship as a Director of Christian Education working in a large church in Oviedo, Florida and Sue was teaching Junior High at a private school in downtown Orlando.

During the prior year, Sue had been teaching at my grade school in New Haven, Indiana, living with my parents, and in the evenings working for the Disney Store at Glenbrook Mall in Fort Wayne – all to help pay off her student loans.

We had planned to spend our honeymoon at Disney World, but since we ended up being placed just weeks before our wedding in the Orlando area for my internship, we made plans to hop on a cruise to the Bahamas instead. 

It only seemed appropriate at our wedding that we would have a Mickey and Minnie Cake Topper on our Wedding Cake and Winnie the Pooh toasting glasses (that Sue bought while working at the Disney Store).

Now, all that said, let me return to those buttons. Sue mentioned to Joe, our Cast Member at the Art of Animation Resort, that we were celebrating our anniversary and he handed us two “Happily Ever After” buttons (Like this one).  Throughout our stay we were congratulated and asked “How many years?” by numerous Disney cast members.

Often when we would say “26 years (or 25 + 1 as Sue likes to say),” a conversation would ensue. 

Sure, we know that this is what they call “Disney Magic” and that cast members are simply following their script and what they have been taught about engaging the customer, but I must be honest, it felt really good to have people acknowledge your celebration and sometimes even join in the celebration with you. 

As I was driving home on Saturday and Sunday and the family was asleep in the van, my mind began to wander and I started to really think about those buttons and all the smiles, all the exchanges we had with people we do not even know, and the joy that wearing a simple button exclaiming our celebration could produce. 

Being in ministry for 26 years, I know one of the most important things in ministry is acknowledging people’s celebrations and celebrating people’s lives. When you wish someone a happy birthday, or happy anniversary, or you remember a special moment, accomplishment, or attribute that someone exudes their face lights up and you can sense they feel special.

I agree with Quaker Richard Foster who believes celebration should be at the core of our life and is at the heart of the way of Christ.

In some ways, I wish we all had a magic button to wear each day that had written on it something for others to join us in celebrating.  I hate it when I miss someone’s birthday, anniversary, or special occasion or find out weeks after their occasion.  This is one of the things I like about Facebook – it sends me reminders about people’s birthdays or special occasions.  

So…maybe it is not so much about the idea of people wearing buttons to let people know what they are celebrating, as much as you and me taking the time to consider what to celebrate in and with other people?  

If as Quakers, we believe there is that of God in everyone we meet – then there is something in each person I should be seeking to celebrate and acknowledge.

As I continued down the highway through the rain, fog, and traffic, I could not help but think about the people I know. As they came to mind, I thought about what in them I could celebrate. I found myself smiling, laughing, and at times reveling in the memories with each person.

That specific day happened to be our dear Friend, Linda Lee’s celebration of life (and sadly we were not able to attend since we were traveling).

Linda was one of the first people to come to mind. She always had a way of connecting with me that celebrated my passions and joys and made me feel special. 

Just a couple weeks before she passed, I spent 5 hours with her over a simple lunch at her and Ed’s apartment.  She wanted to have me over so we could share our spiritual journeys.

That five hours was a very special gift. Not only did she find ways to make me feel special, she also had a way of reminding me of my value and giftedness.  I often would hear from others at First Friends similar stories of these experiences with Linda.   

I know one thing, I have kept every hand written note and special email I have received from Linda. Each one is as if I was wearing a button asking her to join my celebration – except she needed no button – she was already connected in spirit. 

The Divine in her was connecting with the Divine in me – what our Hindu friends would refer to as “namaste.”  

As I continued to ponder others and even shed a couple tears, I also realized back at First Friends, the rest of the ministry team was ramping up for Vacation Bible School this week. I was trying to recall the theme for the week, when suddenly, I remembered. Our theme for VBS this year is “Treasured: Discovering You’re Priceless to God.”

That was it.  You and I are treasured – or as our scripture for today says, we are God’s personal treasure. 

The Hebrew word for this personal treasure is actually segullah.

Often segullah only gets translated as “possession”, but it’s much more than that. Segullah wasn’t something you owned and stuck on a shelf, like a vacation trinket. This possession (segullah) was extremely valuable and worthy of a place of honor. Something or someone that should be celebrated.

As I began to prepare for VBS this week, I read in the curriculum’s introduction about how children today desperately desire to be known. It says that in the technology-induced information overload, kids can feel invisible, unimportant, insignificant, yet we can spark joy in the lives of our children by affirming their value and visibility in God’s eyes and in each other’s eyes. 

Folks, the reality is that these thoughts are not just lessons to be learned for our children. I know many of us adults desperately desire to be known, to be acknowledged, to be valued, to be treasured – to be the segullah of God.

Adults too can feel invisible, unimportant, insignificant and we too need others to spark joy in our lives and remind us that we are treasured by God.  Much like Linda did for me and many others.

That is our calling as people who have the Divine within us.  As members of this community of faith, we ought to be seeking ways to affirm, find value in, and visibly acknowledge and celebrate with those around us. 

Way too often these days the Church is known as a place of judgement, ridicule, and finger wagging – all in the name of God. 

Just maybe it’s time we became more aware of our neighbors and fellow friends, sought ways to celebrate, and acknowledge that of God in each other. 

We don’t need celebratory buttons, rather we must commit to becoming more aware of those around us and learning to seek ways to celebrate, acknowledge, and affirm the value of our neighbors.

Maybe what we could do this week is imagine our neighbors and fellow Friends wearing celebratory buttons that invite us to their personal celebrations. Find ways to acknowledge, affirm, and treasure that of God in those you meet.  I sense if we do this, the world will be a better place and we will see those around us more like God sees us.

Now, as we enter a time of waiting worship, I ask that you ponder the following queries:

·        Can you recall a time when someone genuinely called you “special” (in a positive way)? What effect did it have on you?

·        What does it mean for you to know that you are treasured in God’s eyes?

7-11-21 - Get Over Ourselves - Beth Henricks

Micah 6:8 (Message)

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
    what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
    be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
    take God seriously.

I returned last week from closing my brother’s apartment in Minneapolis as well as having a small celebration of his life. The memorial service was a wonderful time of sharing stories about my brother as a group of scientists that Dave worked with for ten years at Medtronic Corporation gathered with us at his service.  I had never met any of them in these years, but they had some great and funny tales about Dave. 

They described Dave as a brilliant classically trained physiologist with a breadth of knowledge that he eagerly and unselfishly shared with others.  He always though, noticed the slightest flaw in anyone’s data or logic, and he shared his observations with them.  He never did this with the intent to diminish a person but only to help them become a better scientist.  In their younger days, some of them explained that Dave’s criticism personally hurt them when they had put some much time and thought into their work and Dave would point out the weakness in the data.  As they matured as human beings and scientists, they learned not to take things too seriously or personally when the goal was to make the whole team better and they all described Dave as a mentor.

Dave also had little tolerance for pretention or ego, and he encountered lots of this over the years.  Dave worked with many well-known cardiologists and heart surgeons around the country as he conducted experiments and wrote articles with these doctors.  Many of them took themselves very seriously and yet Dave had no trouble pointing out flawed data or logic even to these pretentious and prestigious doctors.

At Dave’s retirement party from Medtronic, he shared in his speech that his work had never produced a single product for Medtronic over his years.  But everyone knew in the room that he had collaborated with most of them on a number of products for Medtronic and that he was always about “we” and never about “I”.

This made me think about one of the things I am most thankful for that Dave taught me in life.  Dave was 9 years older than me, and he teased me, cajoled me, and spoke the truth to me as I was growing up.  He toughened me up to where I have learned to not take things too seriously and let most slights or grievances roll off my shoulder.  He helped me gain a greater understanding of getting over myself and holding things lightly in my hand.

I believe this idea of sensitivity, self-focus and seriousness can unfortunately be evident in the lives of some Christians.  The way of Jesus is radical, it takes our focus away from us and puts it on others and it challenges us to be like children in the way we see each other and the world.  Jesus said in Matthew 18:1-5 when asked who was the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, “He called a child and said Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of God.  Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”  Jesus summons us to become like children, love like children and not take ourselves so seriously.  This certainly seems opposite from the way our culture works, what it values and the characteristics of those seeking power.

I had a chance to experience this sense of childlike wonder and joy at a 13th year old birthday party for our Stella Alford this past weekend.  Unfortunately, Stella fell off a swing last week and broke both of her wrists, so she was so limited in her activities.  Her close friend Angel joined the party, also visually challenged (many other friends were there).  I couldn’t stop smiling at the pure joy I saw with these two girls at the chance to sing happy birthday, listen to music and get excited about all of the adult friends there.  Such pure and innocent jubilation – clapping and giggles and exuberance!  The smiles and glee were palpable, and I knew this was what Jesus talked about becoming a child.  I felt the presence of Christ in a significant way in that backyard gathering.

I have witnessed some Christians though, who are the most outwardly devout and are very serious about their beliefs, their theology, and their right way of thinking.  But they don’t exhibit a joy, a sense of wonder or childlike view of the world.  Things are serious and there is much work to do. This reminds me of the apostle Paul before he experienced Christ on the road to Damascus.  He was strict in the Jewish faith, lived a serious and devout life and pointed out the flaws in what others were doing.  It was only when he experienced the transforming power of Christ’s love that he saw how focused he was on himself.  He had been the dictator of what he thought was truth, tradition, and the right way to live a faithful Jewish life.  His world was turned upside down with the encounter with Christ.  In Philliapns 3:8 it says that all this take myself seriously was rubbish compared to what is gained living in Christ.  The law doesn’t bring us life, it is Christ.   Paul has been liberated by Jesus from self-focus and became a new being in Christ.  In the words of author and pastor Tim Keller, Paul is basically saying “I don’t care what you think of me, I don’t even care what I think of me.”  Paul has been so liberated by Jesus from self-focus, he knows his life is hidden with Christ in God – that’s where his true life is (Col 3:1-4).  And he refuses to be drawn back down into navel-gazing.

God refuses to be known intellectually. God can only be loved and known in the act of love; God can only be experienced in communion. This is why Jesus “commands” us to move toward love and fully abide there. Love is like a living organism, an active force-field upon which we can rely, from which we can draw, and which we can allow to pass through us. I am afraid you can believe doctrines to be true and not enjoy such a radical confidence in love of God at all.  To be serious, dogged, and unmoving in beliefs or what “should be” in each church loses the radical love for each other.

This transformed life in Christ is a place where we can truly offer grace and a welcome to others even when we feel slighted, or our feelings are hurt.  Our faith allows us to become alive and have a sense of freedom, generosity and to take God seriously but not ourselves.  In this transformed way of living, we can become less focused on ourselves and our feelings and instead hold things with a light touch.  Doors open in our relationships when others see us full of joy and a lightness of being.

 As Chuck Swindoll often said, “Don’t take yourself too seriously…after all, no one else does!”  

Our dear friend Linda Lee lived this kind of life.  She was a star that was bright and full of light and never took herself too seriously.  She lived a life with a childlike wonder and her eyes sparkled, her smile was radiant, and she could dance and sing at a drop of a hat. She was interested in so many things (her latest focus was on ants and their importance of community for survival). Her poetry has touched us all and I share a poem from her latest book Before the Final Fire called Fried Mystic:

In those days

I heard the planets sing,

I lived in the yolk

of the universe-

quivering, tender, raw-

forming yet fluid.  I was

sunny side up,

perfect, and luminous

with Love,

smiling at everyone

in the manner

of a saint.

One day,

Beyond the floodlight

Of eternal oneness,

I saw the frying pan.

“Richard Rohr is someone I come back to again and again in his books and teaching. He shared in 2017 on his daily email a message that really impacted me as I think about a transformed life and what that means – one where we live in glee and don’t take ourselves too seriously.  He writes, “One of the lessons we might learn from the Gospel stories of Mary Magdalene is that, in the great economy of grace, all is used and transformed. Nothing is wasted. God uses our egoic desires and identities and leads us beyond them. Jesus’ clear message to his beloved Mary Magdalene in their first post-resurrection encounter is not that she squelch, deny, or destroy her human love for him. He is much more subtle than that. He just says to her “Do not cling to me” (John 20:17). He is saying “Don’t hold on to the past, what you think you need or deserve. We are all heading for something much bigger and much better, Mary.” This is the spiritual art of detachment, which is not taught much in the capitalistic worldview where clinging and possessing are not just the norm but even the goal. In her desire to cling to Jesus and his refusal to allow it, we see ourselves reflected as in a mirror. We are shown that eventually even the greatest things in our lives—even our loves—must be released and allowed to become something new. Otherwise, we are trapped. Love has not yet made us free.

Great love is both very attached (“passionate”) and yet very detached at the same time. It is love but not addiction. The soul, the True Self or Whole Self, has everything, and so it does not require any particular thing or person. When we have all things in Christ, we do not have to protect any one thing. The True Self can love and let go. The separate, small self cannot do this. I am told the “do not cling to me” encounter between Jesus and Mary Magdalene is the most painted Easter scene. The artistic imagination knows that a seeming contradiction was playing out here: intense love and yet appropriate distance. The soul and the spirit tend to love and revel in paradoxes; they operate by resonance and reflection. Our smaller egoic selves want to resolve all paradoxes in a most glib way. We only have to look around at all the struggling relationships in our own lives to see that it’s true. When we love exclusively from our small selves, we operate in a way that is mechanical and instrumental, which we now sometimes call codependent. We return again and again to the patterns of interaction we know. This is not always bad, but it is surely limited. Great love—loving from our Whole Selves connected to the Source of all love—offers us so much more.

The ego would like Mary Magdalene and Jesus to be caught up in a passionate love affair. Of course, they are, in the deepest sense of the term, but only the True Self knows how to enjoy and picture a love of already satisfied desire. The True Self and separate self-see differently; both are necessary, but one is better, bigger, and even eternal.

I share a few queries with you as we enter our unprogrammed worship. 

• Are we too serious in our approach to life?

• Do we hold our beliefs too tightly in our hands?

• Do we love from our True Self?

• Can we release tradition that we hold dear and give grace and welcome to those that see things differently and might have slighted us or hurt our feelings?

6-20-21 - Fathering a Better Way of Being

Happy Father’s Day and welcome to Light Reflections.  Our scripture for this morning is from Proverbs 4:1-5 (from The Message)

1 Listen, friends, to some fatherly advice; sit up and take notice so you'll know how to live. 2 I'm giving you good counsel; don't let it go in one ear and out the other. 3 When I was a boy at my father's knee, the pride and joy of my mother, 4 He would sit me down and drill me: "Take this to heart. Do what I tell you - live! 5 Sell everything and buy Wisdom! Forage for Understanding! Don't forget one word! Don't deviate an inch!

For the past few weeks, my son, Lewis, and I have been doing a lot of driving.  Lewis is a bit behind on his driver’s education because of the Pandemic, and this week started his driving part of the driver’s training class (which we were told might have a 10-week delay).

To give him a bit of a jump on the class, we have been learning to drive to his work and back home.  Living in Hamilton County that means he gets a lot of practice with round-a-bouts. 

Actually, if you can believe it, I counted nine in less than two miles from Lewis’ work and back again.  I guess we truly are obsessed as the media says about round-a-bouts in our town. Lewis has done a great job navigating them and is becoming a great driver.

I have found myself as we are driving saying things like, “Grandpa taught me to do this” or “My dad showed me this.” 

When I taught our son, Sam, how to drive a stick last year, I also went back to that patient, but often challenging, moments with my dad when he taught me.  I think my dad taught me some of the most valuable life lessons when teaching me to drive a stick.

·        Have patience and don’t get flustered - stay calm.

·        Feel the car and know your surroundings.

·        Never try to force the gears, let them come naturally.

·        Be an offensive not a defensive driver.

·        Relax and enjoy the experience.

Because of this, I have been a very confident and safe driver, I know when something is wrong with our cars (even though I may not know how to fix it), I don’t get flustered when in difficult driving situations, and I enjoy driving and road trips more than any other form of transportation.

Thanks, Dad for teaching me such important lessons that can also be translated to everyday life. 

Actually, taking a moment to really think about it, my dad lives by these lessons. I have seen them my entire life, and I can see clearly where they have translated into my daily life. 

Obviously, some have been more challenging than others, but they have definitely led to rewarding, growing and stretching life experiences. 

·        Having Patience and staying calm.

·        Knowing your surroundings and your feelings.

·        Never forcing a situation, but rather working to let things come naturally.

·        Living offensively or as I would translate it PROACTIVELY.

And as I have been talking about the last couple weeks…

·        Finding time for relaxation and the enjoyment of life’s experiences. 

And most of all – each of these lessons must be accompanied by compassion and a sincere desire to love, nurture, and care for those around us - especially our family and loved ones.  Those are fathering lessons we can celebrate!

Now, just like on Mother’s Day, I must acknowledge that not all fathers are like mine.  I have been blessed to have a gentle, loving, and wise father, but sadly that is not the case for everyone.  My dad has been a role model in ways that he probably doesn’t even know.  Some of us have fathers who are great role models, others have horrible models, or none at all.

This is why I believe we need a new vision of “fathering” for our day and age.

Colby Martin wrote the following Father’ Day Reflection and Prayer that I believe speaks to our condition.  He begins by stating a truth – he says,

“Fathering feels like a complicated role.”

In the 23 years of being a father of three amazing young men, I must agree, it has been complicated (to say the least).  And much of that complication came from what I learned about “fatherhood” and “fathering” from the church.  Martin explains it as he continues.  

By [complicated] I mean that many of us have individually and collectively expanded our consciousness around issues like patriarchy and toxic masculinity--including the role that religion has played with its dogmatic presuppositions of the superiority of the male species--and in the newly formed spaces of that consciousness-expansion we are left with voids that we are unsure how to fill.

My upbringing in a church that silenced women, had no place for the LGBTQ+, and even unaware or in “good conscience” indoctrinated its people with the damaging teachings of Focus on the Family and other religious groups subtly or even at times openly promoting patriarchal and misogynist beliefs.  In my lifetime a shift took place within the Church that clearly redefined the roles and becoming a Quaker has only solidified this new understanding. 

Martin also addresses this and then asks us some important queries – he says,

If the traditional roles of men and women, fathers, and mothers, have been malformed and made grotesque by patriarchal structures and the oppression of the feminine, then how do we begin to re-imagine what it means to be a father? Or what it means to father people in light of our new awareness?

How do we name and celebrate and honor the role of the Father without simultaneously re-injuring the wounds of those harmed by the elevation of men over women?

These are not questions just for men processing how to be better fathers – these are queries we need to ask as the people of Light who deeply value Equality as one of our distinctives.

I agree with Colby Martin, on this Father’s Day, I want to do my best to navigate the minefield of historical harm done in the name of patriarchy so that I can still speak life and beauty and hope to those who take on the role of Father.

We point our fingers and blame people too quickly without taking time to learn about their story and background.  We assume that people or men will not change or that is just the way they are, but just maybe they have not been given a new vision of what it means to be a father – or of fathering. 

Martin gives some important comparisons, and they speak deeply to me as a father.  Things that have changed me and helped me transform the distorted and damaging view of fatherhood I used to embrace. He says,

·        Instead of a cold, distant, unavailable provider, may we be a soft and present nurturer.

·        Instead of being consumed with work and giving our families our leftovers, may we trust that the rewards that come from being connected to our people are infinitely more valuable than raises and climbing that ladder.

·        Instead of passively accepting society’s definition of what it means to be a man, or how we subconsciously objectify women, may we take an active role of modeling a new and better way of being human and treating all people with tenderness and respect.

Please don’t miss this.  Those three points I just read are also the calling for each of us.  Yes, it may be slightly more important for fathers who have continued the legacy of patriarchy in a negative manner, but we all can work on being soft and present nurturers.  We can all work on seeing our connections with others as more important than personal gain. And we can all model a new and better way of being human by treating ALL people with tenderness, love, and respect.

Friends, we need you (whether fathers or not).

We need you to be courageous enough to model humility.

We need you to be strong enough to practice vulnerability.

We need you to be creative enough to forge a new way forward.

This morning I applaud each of you, especially those who embody fathering roles—whether with biological, adopted, or symbolic children—I cheer you on and want you to know I believe in you and love you!  Together, we can make a real difference and bring some needed balance in this overly patriarchal and male dominated world.  I am grateful that my father was a soft and present nurturer and did not give our family his leftovers, and without even saying it modeled for me a better way – that I am still teaching my boys.

I pray, together, we can help each other be courageous, vulnerable, and creative and forge a new awareness and understanding of what fathering means in 2021.  

You have what it takes. You are enough, and you are worthy.

Happy Father’s Day.

Now, as we enter a time of waiting worship, I ask that you ponder with me the following queries.

·        How has patriarchal and toxic masculinity effected my life?

·        Whether a father or not, what can I do to promote and model a better way of being human?

·        What father in my life might I need to speak life, beauty and hope to, today?

6-13-21 - Celebrate Being!

Celebrate Being!

Indianapolis First Friends

Pastor Bob Henry

June 13, 2021

Good morning Friends and welcome to Light Reflections. 

This morning I want to begin with our scripture passage from Hebrews 10:24-25 (The Message).  I find it a good text to emphasize my thoughts for this morning.

22-25 So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

As I mentioned in last week’s sermon, we are moving into the summer months by looking at two important subjects – Sabbath Rest and Celebration. 

Last week, I started us on this journey by talking about how taking time for rest can help reorient our lives after this long pandemic. This reorienting is a reconnecting with our self, the Divine, and, probably the most challenging after being isolated in a pandemic, a reorienting to each other.

Over the years, I have found that often when I talk about Sabbath or even rest in general, people tense up or begin to push back.  Sabbath for some has a negative connotation – everything from childhood rules and regulations to long periods of quiet, stillness, and boredom.  But that is not all that Sabbath Rest is all about.

Over the years, I have come to see Sabbath as an opportunity for Celebration.  It is an opportunity to reorient yourself to the core of who you are.  To reconnect you to your Inner Light.  To reengage your neighbors, friends, and loved ones.

Most of our week is spent “doing” – it is about work, production, providing for yourself and possibly your family. Even if you are retired, I often notice that you are still “doing.” Since we spend so much time “doing” often our lives get entangled and what we “do” becomes our identity. 

Let’s be honest, the pandemic did not help this – it only exacerbated this situation.  For many, the pandemic stripped away all other aspects of connection and left us dealing with life and work alone and isolated.  All that was left was “doing” to survive. 

Many of us adapted, some of us struggled, but all of us began to miss one aspect of life that seemed to be forced to end – that being celebration.

If you look up celebration in the dictionary, you are quick to find that celebration is a concept that evokes a great deal of action – it includes descriptors such as:

·        To preform

·        To honor

·        To mark

·        To hold up

·        To observe

Celebration also speaks similarly to Sabbath in that it also includes refraining – but in this case from one’s ordinary business – or as one definition puts it “a deviation from routine.” One definition even highlights the sacredness and solemnity of celebration. 

This is why I find Sabbath Rest and Celebration going hand in hand.  They have commonalities, as well as similar foundations. 

Yet, I have a feeling you are thinking…now wait a minute, Bob…I don’t see rest and celebration at all in the same category.  And for many that is probably true, but it doesn’t have to be. 

If rest is to reorient us, celebration can be the response to that reorientation. 

Just think, when we went into the pandemic and everything began to be shut down, we had to reorient ourselves greatly.  We had to see life, work, family, worship in new ways.  We reoriented to our homes, to Zoom Rooms, to ordering online, to cooking again, to our backyards, to virtual spaces for everything from worship to doctor’s visits. 

And while we reoriented to this “new normal” we also saw people saying things like, “I seem to never stop working” or “All I do now is watch the news” or “I am climbing the walls not being able to see people.”  Both extroverts and introverts struggled in different ways – because reorienting takes time, it takes something from you, it creates unexpected and unwanted change.

And what usually brings us out of that is some type of celebration. 

In our country, we celebrate the weekend. We celebrate by going out for dinner with family, having drinks with friends, planning a date, and listening to live music.  We go see movies, concerts, visit museums, go on road trips, take vacations. 

Yet in one fell swoop, the pandemic forced us to reorient ourselves and refrain from ALL forms of this type of celebration – big or small. 

When this happened, we began another process – the process of grieving. 

One of the hardest things for me as a pastor during this time was not being able to celebrate fully the lives of those who passed away in our meeting.  Just a few days before we shut down, I spent the day grieving the passing of our friend, Dan Raines. Then soon after unexpectedly came our Friends, Richard Mills, Kristin Noble’s mother, Flora, and Jody and Janis’ mother, Kay.  None of these, did we properly have a chance to celebrate during this time.      

I performed weddings with no guests or limited attendance.  We did what we could outside.  But we didn’t fully celebrate with one another or in our own hearts and lives.

Sue and I took a moment to look back over 2020 to ponder all that the reorienting to the pandemic caused us to miss and then grieve.

Our son, Alex’s College Graduation

Our son, Sam’s High School Graduation

Sue and my 25th Wedding Anniversary

Sue’s 25th year of teaching.

My 25th year of professional ministry

(After 10 years) my recording among Friends.

And I could go on, but I know many of you missed milestones, anniversaries, and so much more as well.

This is why as we reorient back from the pandemic; we must find time to rest from all our doing AND celebrate once again!

As I spoke of in my “As Way Opens” article this week and as Beth pointed out in waiting worship from my sermon last week, this is going to take a reorienting or shift from our focus on doing to being.

We have been consumed with “doing” for over a year, now.  As Kelsey Courter illustrated in the table I shared in my article, there are two mental modes we work within and that are often at odds with each other.

These are the Driven-Doing Mode and the Being Mode.

The Driven-Doing Mode is characterized by things that have become essential and heightened during the pandemic.  Things like:

·        A sense of “have to” or “should”

·        Constant monitoring

·        Focusing on the past or the future

·        Progressing toward goals – internally and externally.

·        Evaluating things being “good” or bad” and what we should do with each.

I know for me those clearly describe how I reoriented myself during the pandemic. 

I and many others, were constantly asking questions like:

·        What do I have to do or what should I do to be safe?

·        How do I monitor that safety – who can I believe is telling me the truth?

·        Why can’t we go back to the way it was before the pandemic and what does the future hold?

·        How can I stay focused on my goals? What are my goals now? How is this effecting my goals and outcomes?

·        What is good in this situation?  What is bad? And how might I find a way through?

I know at times I became hyper-focused on questions of this nature.

But when looking at the Being Mode, I am realizing that to reorient myself, I first need to slow down, stop the questioning and doing, and move into a new space of being. Corter describes the Being Mode this way.

·        It is not attached to a goal.

·        It accepts and allows what is.

·        There is no pressure to monitor.

·        The focus is on the PRESENT MOMENT.

·        Feelings come into awareness and are temporary.

·        Experience has freedom to be fresh and responsive.

Now, I know some of you will say, “Well, this is rather ideal.” And you would be right, because this is not a shift from Driven-Doing Mode to Being Mode – but rather a balancing out of these modes. 

We have spent so much time in Driven-Doing that I would say that we have lost a lot of our being.  This is yet again why we need to celebrate.  We need to celebrate our being! 

·        We need to celebrate what is!

·        We need to celebrate the fact that much of the pressure to constantly monitor our safety is being lifted.

·        We need to celebrate our awareness and the awareness of others and come together around our new understandings of one another.

·        We need to celebrate our freedom and all the fresh new opportunities that are ahead of us and respond with hope.

·        We need to celebrate once again the PRESENT MOMENT.

Folks, we have grown more than we know, and I sense as we take the time to find Sabbath Rest and reorient ourselves back to our relationships with self, the Divine, and one another, we are going to continue to find new ways to celebrate!  To revel in the Present Moment. To Celebrate what is! 

I hope you will join me in the summer months to seek a balance.  Keep doing but also lean into being.  Be aware but not obsessed.  Embrace the freedom and new opportunities and find ways to celebrate!  I sense if we do this, we will find ourselves growing spiritually, mentally, relationally and living into the Present Moment with gusto! 

Now, as we enter a time of waiting worship, I ask that you ponder the following queries:

1.     What celebrations have I missed during this pandemic? And how has it affected me?

2.     How might I seek a greater balance in my “doing and being” this week?

3.     In what ways do I plan to celebrate my being in this present moment? 

6-6-21 - Sabbath Reorientation

Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting

Pastor Bob Henry

June 6, 2021

Good morning Friends…It is so good to be back in-person and in the Meetinghouse! We almost need to take a moment and let it all sink in.  As our opening prayer stated – this has been a season of crisis, but with the help of the Divine we have made it safely to this point. It is good to be back together!   

To begin this morning, I want to take a moment to thank Beth for bringing the excellent message last Sunday to afford me the opportunity to take my family to our first Indy 500 race. The tickets were a special present for our son, Sam, for the high school graduation he missed last year. If you had a chance to watch the event, you would know that it was a beautiful day and an amazing race. Beth, thank you for being the blessing you spoke of last week in your sermon.

Also, May has quickly turned to June and we are celebrating with our LGBTQ+ family as it is Pride Month. We are so happy you are part of our family at First Friends.

And now that school is out, and the weather is getting warmer, we are getting back outside to take a big deep breath and give up a sigh of relief that the pandemic is finally looking as if it is coming to a close.

For many, including First Friends, this also means we are entering another time of great transition.   

Again I want to take a moment to thank each member and clerk of our Reopening Task Force for their hard work during this past year and for their conservative, patient, and wise approach to keeping us all safe and getting to this point of being back together once again. Thank you!

As we continue to make transitions, I ask you for your continued grace and ongoing patience with one another, especially as we make our transition back to what I will call our “new normal.” 

If you read my last “As Way Opens” article, to help with this transition we are going to be looking at two important spiritual subjects as we enter the summer months– Sabbath and Celebration. 

This First Day, I want to focus on Sabbath as an important aspect of reorienting ourselves.  

If you study the word Sabbath, you will find it comes from the Hebrew word “to cease” or “to stop working.”

In the Jewish or Hebrew traditions, it was a full day each week dedicated to rest and prayer.

And observing the Sabbath was the fourth, and some theologians consider the most detailed, of the Ten Commandments.

Ironically, in modern American Christianity, Sabbath is probably the most neglected commandment. Even many Quakers, today, view it as simply legalistic and obsolete.

But Sabbath is more than a suggestion. In the Old Testament it was a practice commanded repeatedly by God and affirmed centuries later by Jesus in the New Testament.

This raises an important query for us this morning:

What could Sabbath mean for us today as we transition back?

To begin exploring the answers to that query, let us consider Sabbath as an opportunity for reorienting - a reorienting with self, the Divine, and others.

To do this we need to return to Deuteronomy 5:12-14 (our text for this morning) where it is rather clear what God thinks about observing the Sabbath – reading from the Message version you should get the full unfiltered effect of these words.  

No working on the Sabbath; keep it holy just as God, your God, commanded you. Work six days, doing everything you have to do, but the seventh day is a Sabbath, a Rest Day—no work: not you, your son, your daughter, your servant, your maid, your ox, your donkey (or any of your animals), and not even the foreigner visiting your town. That way your servants and maids will get the same rest as you. Don’t ever forget that you were slaves in Egypt and God, your God, got you out of there in a powerful show of strength. That’s why God, your God, commands you to observe the day of Sabbath rest.

Let me make this even more relevant for today. Here is the Bob Henry translation.

Do not work on your day off. It should be a day set apart as God modeled from the beginning of time. On the other days, put in your work, do the things that need to be done, but make sure to make rest a priority. That means NO work, turn off the social media, turn off the T.V. put away your smart phone, put your car in the garage and put your feet up!

Tell your children, parents, friends, even those who serve you at your favorite restaurant or store to make rest a priority. Find time for a nap, today! If someone unexpectedly comes to visit, just enjoy their presence – maybe have a glass of wine with them.

This way, everyone will have the rest they need to keep the world going. Don’t forget all that you have done throughout the week and that you deserve this time, your family deserves you taking this time, your neighbors deserve you taking this time, and your co-workers deserve you taking this time.

Rest makes you a better person. God wants you at your best and knows this will be one of the ways to bring out your best as well as the best in others.

You deserve a break, so take a rest! 

Now, I want to take this to another level. Julia Wallace from Baylor University showed how this reorientation to Sabbath should happen in three distinct directions.

She says that a millennia later, the need for Sabbath still has the power to reorient us upwardly, inwardly and outwardly. She says this,

“Upwardly, Sabbath redefines how we are to understand God. The call to Sabbath is a call to stop, which involves deep trust. Stopping requires us to let go of our control and our belief that the world will fall apart without us, which is definitely a humbling posture. This posture challenges us to recognize that God is…active and in control. Stopping also helps us to recognize the relationality of God – that God, our Creator, designed the rhythms of the universe to include a time of regular and intentional communion between Creator and creation.

Inwardly, Sabbath radically redefines how we are to understand ourselves. In a world that tells us that our worth is defined by our works, Sabbath serves as a countercultural command. Sabbath strips away the notion that a person’s worth is defined by their activity and instead affirms that our worth is not in doing; it is in being.”

Now, this is a huge and very important point – if Julia Wallace is correct, then Sabbath helps us to reorient ourselves to the Divine (what she labels upwardly) and to our self (what she labels inwardly) which both have been heightened for us during the pandemic.

Yet she goes one step further - and I think it may be the most important reorienting for us in our current condition – this is the reorientation needed with one another (which she labels outwardly).  She says,   

The outward dimension is often an overlooked part of Sabbath. Recognizing that a person’s worth is in their being and not in their doing should not only transform how we view ourselves but also how we view others. It should reorient our “outward” connection with others.

It’s tempting to value our neighbors based on their ability to contribute to us, or to society or to the economy (and I would add, even to our Meeting).

Sabbath reminds us that all people have worth beyond their economic or social value.

It seems pretty clear that you and I are called to promote and protect Sabbath for all those around us so that everyone can have the chance to experience God’s gift of rest.

This is exactly why we at First Friends felt it so important to consider our upcoming summer months a Sabbath Rest for our Meeting.  

It has become clear during the pandemic that we need to protect and promote Sabbath for the vulnerable who have less control over their time due to social and economic situations.

Also, the sabbath needs to be promoted and protected for those who gave so much over the last year to keep us safe. People like health care workers, educators, front line workers, and so many more who have had no time to truly “cease” from or “stop working.” 

In the scriptures it was clear that God called the Israelites to uphold a command that required them to consider the situations of ALL people, not just their own. This is hard for some because their work and the entitlement it brings causes them to not see how much their neighbors are in need of true rest.

As well, during times of difficult transitions, returning to a said, “normalcy,” and all with a lack of rest, what sadly can result is a rather selfish disposition.

Thus, we must be careful to be considerate of the needs of our neighbors – especially as it relates to rest. We may even want to seek ways to help those around us find rest, to take a break, to enjoy life again. 

Maybe you notice those young parents needing a night out and are willing to babysit, or you sense a meal and bottle of wine is needed for that single health care worker who has worked three shifts in a row, or you notice the retired widow who lives two doors down who needs someone to enjoy a conversation over lunch.  These are just a few ways to help those around you experience moments of Sabbath rest.

So, as we enter this season of Sabbath Rest at First Friends, let’s consider Julia Wallace’s three orientations – Upward, Inward, and Outward – and take a moment to look around us and sense the needs of our families, our neighbors, our fellow friends, and even our coworkers and let’s be proactive in helping them create a needed time for true rest. 

Now, as we center down for a time of waiting worship, I want to remind you that we will not be passing the microphone for those who are led by the Spirit to speak out of the silence. Instead, we ask that if you are led to speak, please come forward and use this stationary microphone. 

Now, to prepare us for waiting worship, I have prepared the following queries for us to ponder (they are also printed in your bulletin):    

·        Amid the chaos of transitioning back from the pandemic, am I rediscovering ways to reorient my relationship with the Divine?

·        Are any of my doubts fed by the notion that my worth comes solely from my productivity rather than my identity as a child of God?

·        In relation to others, do I recognize and validate the worth and need for rest in others? How might I help someone this week find some needed rest.

5-30-21 - May I Be a Blessing Onto Others

Beth Henricks

May 30, 2021

A good friend of mine called me last week and said she ran across a video tape she had made interviewing my mother when she was 91 years old.  They covered a range of topics regarding theology, Christianity and how to live a fulfilling life.  On this video tape my mom looks into the camera and says that in the last few years of her life she wakes up each morning and asks God, how can I be a blessing to someone today?  A simple mantra, powerful, life changing and not easy to live into every day. 

As we celebrate Memorial Day this weekend , we are all reflecting on important people in our lives that are not with us anymore.  We miss them and we cherish our memories of them.  Yet their wisdom and their words live on in pictures, videos, in our hearts and memories.

As the poem states

Love Doesn’t Die

Give what’s left of me away

now that I’m gone.

Remember me with a smile and laughter

and if you need to cry…

cry for your brother or sister, who walk in grief beside you.

And when you need me,

put your arms around anyone and give

to them what you need to give to me.

I want to leave you something…

something better than words

or sounds.

Look for me in the people

I’ve known or loved or

helped in some special way.

Let me live in your eyes

as well as in your mind.

You can love me most

by letting love live

within the circle of your arms,

embracing the frightened ones.

Love doesn’t die, people do…

so when all that’s left of me is love,

give me away as best you can.

I’ll see you at home,

where I will be waiting.

My mother was speaking to me through this video she made a number of years ago.  How can I be a blessing to someone every day?  Blessing  and blessed are two words that are used a lot in the Judao/Christian world.  It is a word that has a lot of meaning and a lot of tradition and I have been thinking every day about this word and my actions each day.

Merriam Webster gives several definitions but most of them are of a spiritual nature: to be held in reverence like the blessed saints, honored in worship, enjoying happiness and specifically for Christianity, enjoying the bliss of heaven, something bringing pleasure, contentment of good fortune, having a sacred nature, being connected with God, receiving God’s favor.

The word blessing appears many times in the Old Testament.  It is used to describe God bestowing favor, riches, success, and honor to those obeying the law, being obedient, showing deference, and relying on God and God’s direction.  Within the Torah there are blessings for many activities and occasions - Blessings of Enjoyment, Blessings for Commandments, Blessings of Experience.  As the Fiddler on the Roof says in the musical, there is basically a blessing for everything. 

The blessing was a public declaration of a favored status with God.  It gave a power for prosperity and success and served as a guide and motivation to live a life within the blessing. 

We also see examples of blessing by the Father to the Son in the Torah.  Abraham, Issac and Jacob gave blessings to their children and grandchildren.  Blessings were stolen and the loss of a blessing was a curse to the family.  Often the blessing were words of encouragement and prophetic words about their future as long as they followed Yahweh.  They often envisioned a future where those who blessed their offspring would be blessed and those who cursed their offspring would be cursed.  This is similar to God’s promise to Abraham in Genesis 12:3.    It indicates the idea that God has chosen this man to exercise God’s supernatural power in their world. The blessing from the patriarch also indicated the offspring’s superiority over others in the family.  A lot of the value of the blessing was in terms of inheritance and land.  This was the way to ensure the practical matter of estate planning and clearly indicating where assets and land would carry forward.

The New Testament and those practicing Christianity use the words blessed and blessing often.  It quite possibly are two of the most frequently used words in the Christian’s vocabulary. “Have a blessed day,” “blessed to be a blessing,”, “God bless you” bless God with all my soul are just a few of the ways we put it to use. Many of our praise songs are songs of blessing to God for God’s care, love and power in our lives and the world.  We give a blessing  before meals thanking God for this food and the abundance given to us.  Some people think of blessed as a spiritual term for “good fortune,” like when we receive something good, the desired outcome, or an exceptional comfort. It’s even common among unbelievers to describe themselves as “blessed.”   We hear these words often.

The word blessed in the New Testament is derived from the Greek term makarios, which means “fortunate,” “happy,” “enlarged,” or “lengthy.” Makarios is to define the kind of happiness that comes from receiving favor from God. Consequently, blessed can also be translated “favored.” In the New Testament, it usually carries the meaning of being “blessed by God.” As in the case of Mary, the mother of Jesus, who was “blessed among women” (Luke 1:42–45, 48), it was the Lord God who had blessed and favored her.

While material blessings are certainly included in God’s favor, there is a much broader understanding of the word blessed in the New Testament. 

Jesus uses the word blessed most profoundly in the beatitudes found in Matthew 5:3-12 and Luke 6:20-23.  Jesus used this term in the framework of the Beatitudes to describe the inner quality of a faithful servant of God. Blessed are the poor for yours is the kingdom of God, blessed are those who are hungry now for you will be filled, blessed are those that weep  for you will laugh, blessed are those who have people hate you, exclude, revile and defame you on behalf of the Son of Man for your reward is great in heaven, blessed are the meek, those who mourn, are poor in spirit, blessed are the pure in heart, the peacemakers and those that are persecuted.   Jesus is describing this blessedness as a spiritual state of well-being and prosperity—not a worldly success and blessing but a deep, joy-filled contentment that cannot be shaken by poverty, grief, famine, persecution, war, or any other trial or tragedy we face in life. In human terms, the situations depicted in the Beatitudes are far from blessings, but because God is present with us through these difficult times, we are actually blessed by God in them.

Being blessed is about trusting in God’s love no matter our circumstances.  As Romans 8:35-39 says

The one who is blessed trusts in God’s love, no matter what: “Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? . . . No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Blessed speaks of our inner state of well-being, the prosperity of our souls in Christ. Blessedness comes from unhindered fellowship with God. To be blessed is to experience the full impact of God’s presence in our lives now and for all eternity.

I appreciate and embrace all of these ideas of blessing and being blessed.  They are comforting to me and I have had periods in my life where I needed to cling to them and hold on to their hope and promise to be able to take my next step forward.  But most of these reflections have me as a receiver of the blessing or of giving a blessing to God for what God has done.  What has stopped me in my tracks is to hear my mom talk about being the blessing to someone every day.  I am going to give the blessing to someone every day by what I do or what I say?  In a theoretical way it’s easy to say that.  I do want to be a blessing to someone each day.  But how is that manifested in my life and your life?  Some days this has come fairly easily.  For me it’s probably easier to do this with strangers and friends as I think I’m pretty good at being kind with strangers and  look for ways to bless friends.    But what about those difficult times – how can we be a blessing?  How do we do this in the midst of a conflict?  How are we a blessing with folks where we have deep disagreements?  How do we do this when difficult circumstances are presented to us?  Can I be a blessing to someone that I feel at odds with?

I have had to confront this many times and recently last week.  I faced a difficult situation with one of our graduates from ESR and prayed about how to be a blessing in this situation.  Sometimes, when we offer a blessing to others they will not accept it  and that is ok.  We can offer a blessing and it’s up to the other person to accept this and we don’t have any control over that.   

My mom’s advice only encourages me to be a blessing each day to someone.  I need to be in the active mode of looking to be a blessing every day and not focus on outcomes or success or favored status but what God is calling me to do everyday based on how Christ has changed my life.

I love the message in Philippians 2:1-8

1 If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care - 

2 then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. 

3 Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. 

4 Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. 

5 Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. 

6 He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. 

7 Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! 

8 Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death - and the worst kind of death at that: a crucifixion.

As we enter unprogrammed worship I ask you to think about how God is calling each of you to be a blessing to someone today and consider these two queries-

Am I living in an inner state of well-being feeling blessed by God’s presence?

How can I open myself up more to be an instrument of God in this world?